


We All Shine On

by delightful_fear



Series: We All Shine On (REVISED version) [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Never Met, Coma, M/M, New York City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 72,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightful_fear/pseuds/delightful_fear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine's newest client had been in the news for years.  Kurt Hummel had it all: an amazing career on Broadway, a serious relationship, fame, money... But a year later, he is waking up from a coma, his life in shambles.  Can Blaine help him put it all back together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is now a Revised Version of this story, posted Dec 2017/early 2018. Essentially, it’s the same story but beta reviewed, and with changes mostly in the middle chapters to make it better/hopefully more interesting. I’d recommend you read that version instead of this one.

Blaine sighed as he viewed the living room. Piles and piles of boxes with no labels. Furniture stacked wherever it would fit. A mountain of stuff. 

Walking around the empty apartment, Blaine pulled out a pad of paper, sketching a floor plan. Pulling out his laser distance meter, he joted down the room dimensions as he went. 

There was a master bedroom with a walk in closet. The attached en-suite had a large whirlpool bath, a roomy glass-walled shower and plenty of light. The living room and kitchen were a good size. There was a smaller bedroom, a regular bathroom with a shower, and an office. French doors opened onto a wide balcony.

Everything was elegant, lovely and expensive. Blaine was used to working with clients like this. But this was the first time his client had been in a coma and unable to consult with Blaine. His instructions were to use his best judgment and set up the apartment. 

Back in the living room, Blaine worked on peeking in the boxes, moving them into piles based on which room they belonged to. After a couple hours, he had them sorted into rough piles and knew where he wanted the furniture to go. 

It was a good days work. 

\---

"So, the guy you work for is a vegetable?" Sam lifted the other end of the large mattress, and they carefully maneuvered it to the master bedroom. 

Blaine was breathing hard as they lifted the mattress in place onto the base. "Well, I think the preferred term is 'comatose'. He was in an accident a year ago and hasn't shown any signs of coming out of it at all, apparently."

Walking back to the living room, they carried the nightstand back to the bedroom. "You said he's not very old. That's such a shame."

Nodding, Blaine pushed the stand against the wall. "He's only a year older than us." 

"Well, at least he has money." Sam said as they moved a table into the kitchen. 

Blaine nodded. An apartment this size, even in Brooklyn, was pricey. The furniture was lovely, in perfect style for the elegant setting. 

\---

"Thanks for helping me move everything around today." Blaine took a couple cold beers out of the fridge and passed one to Sam. "Let's drink these outside."

Sam whistled as they went through the French doors to the wide balcony. It had views of the neighborhood, lots of trees and upscale brownstones. The tall buildings of Manhattan were off in the distance. 

"You're lucky to be working here for a few weeks. It's such a nice atmosphere." Sam sat down at the patio table, stretching his long legs out towards the sun. He cracked open his beer, taking a long sip.

Blaine drank his beer, enjoying the peaceful scene. "Yeah, it's so much quieter out here than my place."

"At least you have a place!" Sam smiled over at his friend. Sam had been living with a guy, but recently his girlfriend had moved in, and Sam ended up leaving.

Shrugging, Blaine relaxed back into his chair. "You are welcome to stay on my sofa until you find a place. I'll be working over here a lot anyways."

\---

On the third day, his new client was moved home from the hospital. Blaine was working in the kitchen, unpacking all the boxes and figuring the best way to organize the cupboards. 

He held the door open as the hospital-style bed was delivered. It was set up in the smaller bedroom. An hour later, medical staff came in with the young man on a stretcher, settling him onto the bed and hooking him up to IVs and other tubes. 

"Hi, I'm Hannah." A middle-aged woman in scrubs held her hand out to Blaine.

He shook it. "I'm Blaine. Um...it looks like you are handling things fine here. I'm working in the kitchen if you need anything."

She smiled and nodded, turning back to her patient as Blaine left. 

\---

An hour later, things had quieted down. Curious, Blaine quietly went to the small bedroom. The man was in the bed, and a different woman in scrubs was dozing on a chair nearby. A book and a computer tablet were lying on the table near her. No one else was around. 

Creeping forward, Blaine edged towards the bed until he was standing beside it. Looking down, he examined the man. 

Kurt Hummel. He had been a Broadway star all during his twenties, his fast ascent grabbing so much attention. He had been the hot, new thing for years, selling out performances and filling up the gossip columns and blogs with his nighttime adventures. 

The theatre fans had been delighted when he was seen in recent years with a slightly older playboy. Everyone had been interested in their romance, amazed at their lavish house and seemingly perfect lifestyle. 

But a series of tragedies struck the young star in quick succession. His father passing away at a relatively young age, the accident that left Kurt comatose, and now the breakdown of their relationship. 

His rich boyfriend was said to be heartbroken over Kurt's condition. He had sold their house, getting this apartment for Kurt to be comfortable in with the best care, and had left the country. 

Blaine had seen Kurt perform a few times, years ago. It was sad to see him like this, still and quiet, when he had been such a vivacious presence on the stage. He had been able to move audiences from laughter to tears, pulling their emotional strings with his pure talent. 

Now, Kurt Hummel laid on the hospital bed, his head slightly elevated. His hair was on the longer side, and he had a trimmed light beard. His skin was still pale and perfect. The news about the accident had been incomplete. Blaine looked for any signs of damage, but couldn't see any.

The nurse shifted in her chair, startling Blaine, and he crept back out of the room.

\---

The next few days flew by. Blaine was busy, working through all the boxes, but felt pleased at his progress. 

He got to know the health care staff, seeing them in passing so much. It was a large apartment but they still crossed paths. Mostly they were in the smaller bedroom and the main bathroom. 

It looked like there was a rotation of nurses, so there was always someone with Kurt. They were always hooking up his IV and taking care of his regular needs. There was also a physiotherapist that came quite often. A doctor came by once a week or so. Everyone seemed to think that Blaine was just a friend of Kurt's, and he didn't bother to correct them. He would only be working there a few more weeks anyways.

The friendliest of them all was Hannah, who seemed to be the senior nurse. She sometimes would come out to the kitchen to heat up her lunch, and Blaine sat with her a few times. 

"The apartment is really starting to look like a home now. I like looking around and seeing what things you have changed since my last shift." Hannah smiled, blowing on a hot spoonful of soup. 

Blaine took a bite of his sandwich. "Thanks. It's not hard when you have beautiful things like Kurt does. He has a great sense of style."

Hannah nodded. "Well, if Kurt wakes up, he'll feel more at home, seeing things he recognizes all around him."

Blaine's eyebrows went up. "Is that much of a possibility? I would have thought he would have woken up by now if he was going to."

She shrugged, finishing off her soup. "Most don't, but it can happen. The more years that pass, the less likely, of course. But the human brain is still very mysterious."

"I've heard you playing music and talking to him when you are in there." Blaine found it a little odd. The other nurses tend to be quiet, usually reading or playing on their computers when they weren't doing specific care tasks. 

Hannah nodded. "Of course. It won't hurt him and it's supposed to help. Anything to encourage the brain to reengage with the world." She gave him an assessing glance. "Would you like to come in, sit and talk with him?"

Blaine looked down, feeling shy. "I wouldn't know what to say." He would probably sound like a stupid fanboy. _I loved you in 'Hair' and in 'Company'._. Not really what Kurt needed to hear.

She got up, putting her dishes in the dishwasher. "Come in and then just read to him. Or talk about your day. He's a very good listener." She shrugged and went back to her post.

\---

A couple days later, when Hannah was working, he came by the room, holding a magazine. He shrugged. "I thought I'd take you up on your suggestion and read to him."

"Oh great. I'll leave you to it." Hannah smiled and took her tablet with her.

Blaine was surprised to be left alone with Kurt. Pulling up a chair, he looked him over, noticing that his beard seemed trimmed a little shorter. The nurses must do it every week or so.

He opened the magazine, turning to the first article. In sorting Kurt's things, he had come across the perfectly stored collection, going back years. He'd found the one from the month of the accident, and the spine was smooth. Kurt had never had a chance to read it. 

Blaine had never read a Vogue magazine before, and he was surprised at the quality of the articles. Many things were visual and he described them to Kurt if they were important. 

By the time he was finishing the magazine, another nurse had arrived and Hannah introduced them. He left, giving them back the room.

He felt good as he put the magazine back in its place. Maybe it would help Kurt, probably it wouldn't. But reading the Vogue out to him made Blaine see a little more into his world, his interests. And he was surprised that he had enjoyed reading the magazine too. His work did have a design element, and trends in clothing and home decor often mirrored each other.

\---  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I'll add tags for characters as I go. I'm still working on the story.

If you are interested, I made a photo album for this fic on Facebook (Dee Lightful Fear) of the real places and other references I make to things. Check it out & comment, please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from John Lennon song 'Instant Karma':  
>  _"We all shine on...like the moon and the stars and the sun..."_


	2. Chapter 2

The next couple weeks went along the same way. Blaine worked on the apartment steadily and it was coming together well. 

Every day he took the next Vogue and read it to Kurt. It was something small he could do to maybe help. It gave the nurses a break, and maybe the reading was being heard by Kurt. As someone who admired his work and felt bad about his accident, Blaine wanted to show his respect somehow. 

He got to know the staff well also. There was a maid who cleaned once a week. The nurses in rotation. The physiotherapist. The doctor. 

But by the time he'd read the most recent Vogue to Kurt, the apartment was done. Everything was unpacked and in place. The walk-in closet had taken the longest, and Blaine had ended up installing shelving to better fit Kurt's wardrobe. 

The office had a file folder system set up, with all his various bills neatly organized. His personal papers were in decorative boxes, full of pictures and journals and personal letters. Blaine had been tempted to read them, but respected Kurt's privacy and stored them away. 

He had decorated the apartment with Kurt's things to make it feel like a home. Setting a comfy reading chair near the bookcase with a floor lamp nearby. Hanging art up in the wall. Walking through it a final time, Blaine felt satisfied. The last thing he did was put his business card on the fridge with a magnet. 

\---

A few weeks later, Blaine was deep in a project with a hoarder. His family was paying for Blaine's services and he had warned them that it would be a slow process, most dealing with their father's mental blocks around letting go of things. 

He had worked with hoarders in the past and it was hard work. But it was very satisfying in the end to really help somebody in this way. In the beginning, there were small steps to gain the hoarder's trust and get some easier tasks accomplished. 

Leaving for home, his cell rang with an unknown number. A new client perhaps?

"Blaine Anderson." He answered. 

"Blaine! So good to get ahold of you! This is Hannah, from the Hummel apartment." Her voice was very cheerful. 

Blaine was surprised to hear from her. "Hannah, it's great to hear from you."

"Blaine, there is some exciting news here." Her voice dropped to a quieter tone. "Kurt has woken up."

Shocked, Blaine walked off the busy sidewalk and into a park, dropping down onto a bench. "But I haven't heard anything about it on the news or anything."

Hannah chuckled softly. "It's all hush-hush right now. It's great that he's regained consciousness, but he is still easing back into life. He's is pretty rough shape, very weak, and needs to rest often."

"Well, I'm still so happy he's regained consciousness. He's far too young to have stayed under. Thanks for letting me know, Hannah." Blaine shook his head, still amazed by the news.

Hannah cleared her throat, and her tone became more serious. "Do you think you could come by to read to him again, Blaine? If it's not too much to ask."

Blaine was pleased she had asked. "Sure. I could even swing by right now. I just finished work."

"Great. See you soon." 

\---

Hannah greeted him at the door and they shared a hug, both so happy at Kurt's progress. 

She pulled him into the kitchen, pouring them both a cup of coffee, and they sat down at the table.

Hannah had large brown eyes and short dark hair with a light sprinkling of grey throughout it. Blaine would guess she was in her late forties, still very fit and attractive. He liked her professionalism, tempered with her warm heart. She really cared about Kurt.

"It's only been three days so far. But he's improving a little every day." She sipped her coffee, watching Blaine's response. 

Blaine nodded. "I'm sure it will take months and months for his body to recover."

"Yes, and the psychological traumas also to deal with. How familiar are you with his history?" 

Shrugging, Blaine wondered how to phrase it. "Well, I had seen him perform years ago, and consider myself a fan. So, i paid attention to the news that came out about him. His father, the accident, his boyfriend leaving the US."

Hannah laid her hand over his arm. "I know you signed a confidentiality agreement to work here, as we all did. I think all those things snowballed into each other. His accident was because he wasn't dealing well with his father’s death, and may have strained their relationship. I think their relationship was already on the rocks before any of that happened, and would have ended soon anyways." 

Blaine nodded. This all made sense with what he had heard from other sources.

"So, in addition to dealing with his physical challenges, Kurt has to deal with his father, the relationship and the effects of the accident." Hannah swirled her coffee in her cup.

Blaine nodded. "So, there will be psychologists visiting him as well?"

"Eventually, maybe. But for now, I need to keep his spirits up, give him some distraction from the endless comings and goings of the health staff." Hannah gave a small smile. "And that's why I called you. It's quite possible your reading before was reaching him and I'm hoping you will be a familiar voice to him."

Standing up, she carried their cups to the sink. 

Turning around, she looked at Blaine steadily. "And there is one other thing you should know before seeing him." She let out a sigh. "He is having difficulty speaking, and there is a chance of permanent damage to his vocal cords from the accident."

She turned and walked out of the kitchen, and Blaine followed her down to the bedroom, still reeling from this news. _A professional singer who couldn't sing? What would Kurt do with his life if he couldn't sing?_

Hannah stopped outside the door and spoke softly. "I left the newest Vogue in there with a couple bottles of water. Take your time. I'll be out here if you need anything."

Watching as she walked back down the hall, Blaine turned to the door and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. _What was he even going to say to Kurt?_

Knocking softly on the door, he opening it slowly and looked towards the bed. Kurt was propped up on the bed, his eyes open and turned towards Blaine. 

Entering, Blaine closed the door most of the way and stepped closer. "Um, Hi. I'm Blaine and I was working in your apartment when you first moved here. Hannah, the nurse, thought I could come by and read to you again."

His explanation sounded weak and odd to his own ears, but Kurt gave him a small nod. Relieved, Blaine pulled up a chair and saw the magazine and water close by. 

Taking the magazine, Blaine opened it and flipped to the first article, and started. It was nerve-wracking reading as Kurt looked at him, so he was speaking a little fast and stumbling over words. But after a few paragraphs, he relaxed a little and spoke more clearly. 

Occasionally, he would flick his gaze up to Kurt's face, and Kurt's eyes were on him, open and interested. Not looking sleepy. Seeing those famous blue-grey eyes on him made his stomach clench with nerves. Blaine dropped his gaze back to the magazine to get lost in the words again. 

A few articles in, he stopped to open a water bottle, feeling thirsty. After drinking about half of it, he looked to Kurt. "Are you thirsty too?"

Kurt gave a small nod, looking a little tired, and Blaine looked at the bedside table. There was a lidded cup with a bendy straw. Blaine peeked inside and saw it was ice water. 

He brought it to Kurt, angling the straw so he could accept it and Kurt took a long sip. He let go and gave Blaine a little nod. He was quite expressive, even without saying a word.

Picking up the magazine again, Blaine gave Kurt a questioning glance, and got another nod in response. Blaine continued reading. 

By the time he had finished the magazine, he could tell Kurt was sleepy. "OK, I will go now. Would it be OK if I come back in a day or two?"

Kurt gave him a small closed-lip smile and nodded again. 

Blaine left, closing the door softly behind him. He walked down the hall and found Hannah reading on the balcony. 

"How did it go?" Hannah put her book down, and waved to the other chair. 

Blaine sat and looked over at her. "It seemed to be good. He seemed interested in the magazine and listened attentively. By the end, he was sleepy and he's napping now."

Hannah nodded and smiled. "Good. Would you come back again?"

"Yes, I asked him if that would be OK, and he nodded. But I don't have any more Vogues to read to him." Blaine chuckled at how odd this whole situation was. 

Hannah chuckled too. "Well, you unpacked that whole library of books. Perhaps you could select a few that interest you and let him choose one." 

Blaine nodded, remembering several titles that had peaked his interest.

"Thank you, Blaine, for doing this." Hannah sighed, looking out at the pretty view. "Working with various patients over the years, I've seen a big variety of cases. When you work in people's houses for months, you see very deeply into their lives."

Blaine let her talk, knowing she was working up to something.

She turned slightly towards Blaine, her legs crossed. "I think Kurt was very sad and lonely before the accident. He worked long hours and was very respected, but when you get to that level, do you have close friends in your co-workers? They say it's lonely at the top, and that was the case here. He was close with his father, and with his boyfriend in the early stages."

"We notified his boyfriend about Kurt, and he was pleased. But he's not going to come back to the US." Hannah said softly. "He will continue to pay for his care only. We asked about other people to notify, and he only gave us the contact information for his stepmother. She is also out of the country, and it may take awhile for word to get to her. He couldn't even give us the names of any close friends to notify."

Blaine was rocked by this news. He knew Kurt's relationship wasn't doing well at the end, and wouldn't have been surprised if he had read about them splitting up back then. But for the boyfriend to be so heartless to not even visit Kurt now? It said something about how bad their relationship must have been. 

He also knew about Kurt's family. His mother had died when he was young, and his father raised him. He had remarried, but his stepbrother had died as a young adult. His stepmother was his only family left now.

And friends...Blaine had seen many, many pictures of smiling people, letters, mementos amongst Kurt's things. But who were important still to Kurt? Had he kept in touch, kept those relationships alive? Knowing how chaotic Kurt's life had been the last few years, Blaine wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't been able to. 

Hannah reached over and took Blaine's hand. "I've never worked with a client who didn't have family or friends around. But he needs people to connect to, to relate to. More than just health care providers dealing with his body."

Blaine nodded. "I'd like to help in any way I can."

"Great. For now, if you can keep up the visits as it fits your schedule. We'll see what else as things progress." She smiled again and got up. "Now, I'm going to prepare some exciting things like broth and jello for Kurt. Get him used to eating again."

\---

A couple days later he arrived as Hannah was leaving for the day. She gave him a quick update and hugged him before stepping out. 

Going to the library area of the living room, Blaine quickly found the books he was thinking of. He stopped by the kitchen for a bottle of water on the way.

Knocking on the door before entering, he saw Deanna was standing beside Kurt, adjusting something. 

"Hi Blaine. Hannah mentioned you would be by today." The small Filipino nurse was always cheerful when he'd crossed paths with her before. "Kurt is just having his meal, and I'll be out of your way in a minute." 

Blaine nodded, putting his items down on the extra table. Walking over to the window, he gazed out, giving Kurt his privacy. 

"OK, all finished here." Her voice sang out, and she carried a tray with some medical supplies on it. He didn't see any dishes or cutlery. Soon, she left the room, leaving the door mostly shut. 

Blaine smiled at Kurt as he sat down. "You are all caught up on Vogue, so I took the liberty of choosing a few books we could read instead. Is that OK?"

Kurt looked more alert today, and his color was a bit better. He nodded at Blaine. 

Spreading out the three books for Kurt to see, he waited while Kurt looked them over. After a couple moments, Kurt looked at one book and nodded. 

Chuckling, Blaine put the other books aside. He had picked a Jane Austen classic, a highly rated historical fiction and a light-hearted action novel. Kurt had selected the last one.

Blaine had seen the movie, but he'd heard that the book was better and a lot different. Settling into the chair, he opened to the first chapter. 

After about an hour, Blaine finished a chapter and closed the book. 

"That's a hell of a lot different than reading Vogue to you." Blaine chuckled. The book was interesting, and he wanted to read on. But Kurt was looking a little tired. "Is it OK if I come back tomorrow to read more with you?" 

Kurt nodded, his small closed-lip smile in place, looking pleased. 

Shutting the door behind him, Blaine went to find Deanna. She was in the kitchen, working with the medical supplies he'd seen earlier. 

"Hey Deanna. Kurt's just napping now." He watched as she rinsed out some tubing and put it in the garbage. 

"Thanks, Blaine." She nodded his way.

Blaine watched as she worked, curious. "You mentioned giving Kurt his meal, but I didn't see regular food. Do you mean the IV?"

She shook her head. "No, that is just used for his fluids and medications. His food is mostly supplied by a tube feed." 

He must have made a strange expression because she giggled. "It's not as bad as it sounds. For people in a coma or unable to eat normally, there are formulas that can be put right into their stomach or intestine. It meets all their nutritional needs and keeps the gut working. In Kurt's case, there is a surgically installed port going right into his stomach and he gets three meals a day."

Blaine gave her a puzzled expression. "But Hannah mentioned giving Kurt broth and jello the other day."

She nodded. "Yes, as he is able to eat more normally, we'll cut back on the tube feeding. Maybe eventually, have none at all and remove the port."

Blaine nodded back. "Can he feed himself?" 

"Well, he is working with physio. He has general muscle weakness from disuse, and some damage from the accident." Deanna finished up her work in the kitchen. "It will take some time to see what he can do."

\---

**hi bllaine. It's Kurt.**

Blaine looked down at his phone, his brow furrowed. A second later, there was another message, this time from Hannah.

**Isn't this great? Kurt's hands are strong enough now to use a tablet. He can text! -H**

A wide grin spread across Blaine's face. 

Hands shaking, he responded to the first message. 

**Great to text with you, Kurt! Feel free to message me anytime. -B**

The second message was to Hannah:

**I'm so happy for him. Now he can communicate much easier with people. -B**

Kurt had tried writing on a notepad, but didn't have an easy time printing. The messages were just a word or two, the letters badly formed and hard to read. Blaine could tell Kurt was very frustrated with it.

It would be exciting to see what Kurt could do with texting.

\---

The next time Blaine came to the apartment, he could here two voices coming from the balcony. Peeking into Kurt's bedroom, he was surprised to find the bed empty. 

Following the sound of the voices, he found Hannah on the balcony, and she gave him an excited wave. 

"Blaine, come join us!" She pointed to a chair nearby, and Blaine followed her instructions. Sitting in the other wicker armchair was Kurt, looking very happy. 

Hannah was like a proud mother. "Kurt has been walking a little lately, and I thought he'd like to get some fresh air and a change of scenery from that old bedroom."

Lifting a mini iPad, Kurt hit a couple buttons. 

"Yes, mother." The tablet intoned, a male voice with a bit of an Australian accent. 

Hannah chuckled, looking over at Blaine. "Kurt already has a bunch of comments pre-typed on his tablet, and just has to select 'speak'. I get the 'Yes, mother' comment a lot." 

She stood up. "Well, I'll leave you to your visit. Today, I'm making my beef barley soup for dinner." As she left, she patted Blaine's shoulder. 

Kurt was clicking in his tablet, and then looked up at Blaine. 

"Hi Blaine. It's nice to actually be able to talk with you finally." The voice from the tablet was different than before, now switched to a male American accent.

Blaine smiled at Kurt, loving to see his cheerful expression and how much stronger he looked. "Nice to talk to you too, Kurt. So why do I get a different accent than Hannah?"

Kurt shrugged, and typed a little more. 

"I use different accents for different people. Just something fun for me. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" The voice from the tablet spoke clearly, although some words had odd pronunciations. Overall, Blaine didn't have a problem following along.

Blaine laughed, and shook his head. "Sure, ask away." There was a tray on the table, and he poured himself a glass of iced tea. Kurt already had a cup near him, with a bendy straw. 

"I'd like to get to know you better. Where did you grow up? How did you come to do this kind of work?" Kurt had only clicked a couple buttons, so Blaine guessed it was something pre-typed, probably something he used with all his different health care workers to get a conversation going. 

Blaine thought of how to answer it briefly. "Well, I grew up in Chicago and have a music degree. I moved to New York to pursue my career. Played in lots of bands, did lots of gigs. But I had to have a day job too so ended up working eventually for a company that installed closet organizers."

He took a sip of his drink, and Kurt gave him a little nod and a wave of his hand to continue.

"People in New York have a lot of stuff and tiny apartments. I saw a need and started my own professional organization business. And I've been working steady for the last four years now." He shrugged. It was a strange path, but he liked the work and it paid quite well. 

Kurt raised his eyebrows, looking impressed. Turning back to his tablet, Blaine watched as he typed on the screen. Not one of his standard questions then. 

"Did you organize this apartment then? All my stuff?" 

Blaine was starting to merge Kurt's old voice with the tablet's voice, in his head. The tablet's voice was a bit stilted, but when paired with Kurt's expressive face, his messages came across fully. 

Blaine nodded. "Yes, I was hired to set up your apartment. Everything was in boxes and shoved into the living room. If you want anything changed, just let me know."

Kurt shook his head, and then typed. "No, you did a wonderful job. It already feels like home, seeing my things so nicely arranged everywhere."

Feeling relieved, Blaine smiled and sipped his drink. Hearing that from Kurt himself was very satisfying. It was the best part of his job, knowing he'd made people feel good in their homes. Usually, it was people out of control, living in chaos. This was a different situation. 

"But, why are you still coming back here?" Kurt asked. 

Blaine looked down, feeling uncomfortable. Why was he coming? "It's hard to explain. I liked working here, getting to know the staff. I liked being able to help you, knowing your backstory and everything...."

Kurt huffed and typed quickly. "So, it's pity for me, then?"

"No, no...not at all. I admired your work in the past, and respect you. I also like Hannah and she suggested reading to you. I enjoy doing it. I'd like to continue, if you'll let me." Blaine looked at Kurt, seeing the spark of anger and pride in his eyes fading back to his normal look.

Kurt typed again. "If it's not out of pity, then let me pay you."

Blaine sighed, biting his lip. "Maybe I'm overstepping here, but I'd like to continue coming, visiting you, Hannah and the other staff. But as a friend. Would that be OK?"

Kurt gave Blaine a long, hard look. Blaine could understand it, given his history, but found it a bit sad. It said a lot about Kurt's life the last few years. How many people had tried to use Kurt? Sucking up to him to get a part in a show? To get invited to parties with his famous and rich friends? How many of them wanted what he could do for them instead of getting to know the real him? No wonder he was lonely, as Hannah suspected. 

"OK, friends." Kurt finally typed. 

Blaine let out the breath he'd been holding and picked up their book. "Good. Now is it OK if I read a bit? We were just getting to a good part."

They both settled back into the comfortable wicker armchairs, feet up on the ottoman, as Blaine continued their story.

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine could hear an Australian voice coming from the kitchen, so he knew Kurt was in there with Hannah. He headed towards them. 

Standing in the doorway, he looked at the scene. There was a tension between Kurt and Hannah that he’d never seen before. 

“Hi everybody. Is it OK that I’m here, or should I come back tomorrow?” He felt like he was intruding.

Hannah just sighed, getting up from the kitchen table and pouring herself some more coffee.

Kurt nodded at Blaine and then typed on his tablet. “Hey Blaine. Get some coffee and sit down. You can help us figure something out.” 

Raising his eyebrows at that, Blaine decided to follow along. He got the coffee and sat down.

“Hannah, can you fill Blaine in?” Kurt was using the Australian accent still, and it was a bit jarring to Blaine. He’d gotten used to the American one. 

She glared a bit at Kurt, and then looked over to Blaine. “Kurt has been working hard for six weeks, and now thinks he’s invincible. Back to normal.” 

Looking back at Kurt, she reached over to lay a hand on his arm. “You are doing great, Kurt. But please give yourself time for your body to recover. For you to get used to the changes in your life. It’s OK to have help with this, to take the time for it. No one is expecting you to jump out of bed after being in a coma for a year.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes, expressive as always. He typed again on the tablet. “I’ve lost a year already, Hannah. I don’t want to lose anymore time.” 

“Sorry, but what does Kurt want that you don’t, Hannah?” Blaine was confused about what the underlying issue was that had triggered this intense conversation.

Turning towards Blaine, Hannah took a big sip of her coffee. “Kurt wants to have all the medical staff to stop coming to his apartment. He wants to go to medical appointments on his own.”

“Yeah, I want to have my life back.” Kurt responded. 

Blaine nodded at both of them. “Well, is there a medical risk to doing what he wants? What is the danger here?” 

Getting up, Hannah paced up and down the room, clearly agitated. She didn’t like being challenged in what she thought was best for Kurt. But Kurt’s personality was coming back, and he wasn’t one to back down from what he wanted.

“Well, Kurt isn’t on the IV anymore and he’s switched to regular food, so he doesn't need as much day to day medical care. But he is still weak and if something happened, he couldn’t call for an ambulance.” Hannah was making abrupt gestures with her hands as she spoke.

Blaine looked over at Kurt, and could see his frustration. But he also looked tired. “So, now he doesn’t really need a nurse here all the time, right? It could be anyone, right? More just to help Kurt if he needs it?” 

Hannah nodded reluctantly.

“Well, how about we take a break and look at the options. Maybe there could be a compromise like a nurse here during the day, and someone else the rest of the time. Maybe it could just be for three months, or six months, or until Kurt is stronger. How about you both take a day or two and agree to talk about it then?” Blaine didn’t think Kurt was ready to be on his own yet either, but could understand he wanted more autonomy.

Kurt sighed. “OK. Blaine, could you help me back to my room?” 

Standing up, Blaine waited for Kurt to stand up, and then moved to wrap an arm around his waist lightly. He was there for support only, letting Kurt move along, step by step, under his own steam. He was slow, but determined. 

The bedroom wasn’t as cluttered lately. The IV poles and most of the other medical equipment had been removed. The hospital bed was still there, and Blaine helped Kurt get into it. 

Kurt sagged back against the bed, his strength clearly drained by the argument with Hannah. Blaine pulled the covers up over him. 

“You know she argues with you so much because she really cares about you. We all do.” Blaine said softly, looking down at the man he’d come to know pretty well in the last few weeks. He had been visiting the apartment three or four times a week. After finishing the novel, Kurt had asked for them to do more normal ‘friend’ stuff, and they had watched movies, ordered take-out, talked for hours. 

Kurt nodded slowly, looking tired. There were times when there was such sadness in his eyes, and Blaine wanted to take all his old hurts away. For a man of thirty-two, he had done so much, had so much happen to him. And now, he was trying to start another chapter in his life. He was single, alone, and needed to figure out his next career. 

“Do you want me to be there when you discuss this again with Hannah?” Blaine asked softly, not wanting to overstep things. He wanted to support Kurt, but not treat him like an invalid.

Looking up at him, Kurt’s eyes looked really blue. He nodded, his eyes steady on Blaine’s. 

Smiling, Blaine stepped back. “OK. Just text me and let me know when.”

\---

A delicious smell wafted out as Blaine opened the box. “Oh my god, this smells so good.” He put a couple slices onto a plate and grabbed a beer before sitting down. It was thin crust pizza, brushed with garlic butter and dotted with pesto, prawns and feta cheese.

“It’s my favorite. I’ve been craving it for ages. Maybe I was even dreaming about it while I was unconscious.” Kurt was taking small bites, chewing slowly with a happy expression on his face.

Hannah was already working on her second piece. “Mmmmmm….I’ll have to get the name of this place, and put it on speed dial.” 

Waiting until everyone had finished eating, Kurt pulled his tablet close and flicked to the word document he had prepared. He highlighted the first paragraph and clicked again to have it read out. So many times each day he did similar motions, and they had become second nature to him.

“Thanks to both of you for coming tonight for dinner. We’ve all had a couple days to think over the options, as Blaine suggested.” Kurt looked at Hannah and Blaine in turn. 

He clicked for the next section. “I emailed my doctor for his opinion about it, and did some Internet research. I’d like to present my plan, and then Hannah can respond to it. OK?” 

They both nodded.

“As much as possible, I’d like to get back to a regular life. I want the hospital bed removed and to move to the master bedroom. I will get help, in the form of having a maid coming once a week to clean and bring groceries. I will prepare my own meals, and make arrangements to get to my own medical appointments. I will go for walks and do other things to get stronger.” 

Hannah opened her mouth to say something, but Kurt held up his hand, and clicked on the tablet again.

“Hannah, I know you are afraid I will fall or be too weak to take proper care of myself. So, for the next month, I’d like to have you here for your normal shift, during the day. But on nights and weekends, there won’t be other medical staff here.” 

She sighed. “Kurt, I don’t feel comfortable with this. You would be alone so much.” 

Kurt clicked again. He had prepared well, knowing her objections and written responses in anticipation. “I will put a normal bed in the bedroom once the hospital bed is removed, and have a roommate here, at least for a few months. Someone who will be here when you aren’t.” 

Hannah scoffed. “Who is going to want to do that? Who would you feel comfortable living with here?” 

Taking a deep breath, Kurt glanced over at Blaine, and then clicked his tablet again. “Blaine, I was wondering if you would be available. You would still be free to work during the day, of course. I would pay you a caregiver wage for this. It is OK if you say no, of course. I know it’s a lot to ask. And I don’t want to make things difficult between you and Sam.” 

Blaine’s eyebrows rose, surprised by Kurt’s request, but also flattered by it. They had grown to be good friends in the last few weeks and he was impressed by Kurt’s progress, all his hard work. 

He nodded, smiling at Kurt. “Actually, I think I could do it and it really wouldn’t be much different for me. I’d like to be here, supporting you, no need to pay me. But what do you mean about Sam? I’m confused by that.”

Kurt smiled back during his response, but furrowed his brow when Blaine mentioned Sam. He typed on his keypad. “Sorry, but don’t you live with Sam? Won’t he be a bit irritated that his boyfriend is living somewhere else for a few months?” 

Blaine couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and Kurt gave him a perturbed look. “Sam is straight and only a good friend. He’s been crashing on my sofa while he looks for another place to live. So, actually, me living here will suit him fine. He’ll get to sleep in my bed.” 

Chuckling as well, Hannah looked between the two men. “Well, your plan has a lot of good points, Kurt. But what if Blaine goes out some nights or weekends? You can’t expect him to be here all the time.” 

Kurt shrugged and typed. “I think we can figure it out. Maybe I can go with him sometimes. Maybe I could ask Deanna or one of the other nurses to come over.” 

She still didn’t look that convinced.

Clicking again on his word doc, Kurt looked over at Hannah. “I also researched supports that deaf people use in their houses. I’m going to install a TTY phone to use in case of emergencies.”

Hannah looked over at Blaine. “Are you sure you can commit to this, Blaine? It’s a big step to live somewhere else for a few months.” 

Looking at Kurt and then Hannah, Blaine smiled. “I don’t think it will be that big a change. Kurt and I will hang out like we currently do. But I’m sure we will both just be here, doing our own thing. I’ll check on him occasionally. I’ll be near if he needs something and he can just text me to ask for anything.” 

Standing up, Hannah carried the plates to the sink. “OK, OK…. You are far too smart to argue with, Kurt. You’ve thought of everything.” 

Kurt got up and held out his hand. Hannah smiled and stepped forward to shake it. Turning to Blaine, they shook hands also, cementing their deal.

\---

Things seemed to speed up then. It didn’t take Kurt long to arrange for the hospital bed to go and a new bed to be set up in the smaller bedroom. Blaine was able to rearrange some furniture from around the apartment to make the room look more welcoming. 

Sunday night, Blaine brought over a suitcase and unpacked his clothes into his bedroom’s closet. He only brought a couple weeks worth of clothes, knowing he could always pop home to grab anything else he needed. 

The apartment was empty and he walked around it. So strange to think back on how it had been bare when he had first arrived. Now, it was stamped with Kurt’s possessions, things Blaine knew well from working with them all for those initial weeks. Weird to think it would be his home for the next few months.

How would it really be, living here with Kurt? They were friends now, but would sharing this rather large apartment change things between them? They were both mature men, old enough to communicate their needs, especially when they needed some space. He didn’t want to endanger things between them. 

\---

It was a couple hours later that Kurt returned. Blaine had made a sandwich for himself, and was watching a movie in the living room. 

“OK, OK. I’m home now. Time for you drunk women to go.” Blaine could hear Kurt’s Australian voice, and Hannah calling out a goodbye. 

“Hey Kurt. I’m in the living room.” Blaine called out. 

A few minutes later, Kurt walked in and settled on the sofa beside Blaine. 

“So I heard you mentioning drunk women? What were you up to?” Blaine paused the movie, and turned to Kurt. And he froze.

Kurt had a new haircut, quite short and spiky on the top. His face was clean-shaven. He looked more like he had years ago. Pre-accident. And he took Blaine’s breath away. 

It had been easy, oh so easy, for Blaine to forget that Kurt was Kurt Hummel. He had just been a patient, and then a friend. But dressed in nice clothes and with his new look, Blaine saw him as Kurt, the man. A very good-looking man. 

Luckily, Kurt was looking down at his tablet, typing, and had missed Blaine’s appraising look. 

“I treated all the nurses to a spa day and dinner, to thank them for all their work with me.”

Blaine chuckled. “I bet they loved that. Did you get all the treatments too?” 

Nodding, Kurt typed again. “Yeah, and it felt so good. All pampered.” 

“Your haircut looks good. When did you do it?” Blaine tried not to stare at Kurt, but couldn't resist sneaking quick looks at him. 

“Saturday. I thought since I was trying to get back to normal, I might as well go back to my old look.” Kurt shrugged. 

Blaine took a sip of his beer. He resumed the movie, and Kurt seemed to be watching it as well. It was a DVD from his collection, so it was likely something he’d seen before.

By the time the movie ended, Blaine peeked over at Kurt and found him snoozing. He gave him a little nudge. 

“Kurt, let me help you get to bed.” He was walking better lately, but when he was tired like this, he wasn’t as good on his own. 

His sleepy friend opened his eyes slightly, squinting up at Blaine, and he nodded. 

Once they were standing, Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist and supported him as they walked to his bedroom. They had done this many times over the past few weeks, but tonight it felt different. Maybe it was because Kurt smelled really good. They must have used some special products on him at the spa. Plus, he was warm and sleepy enough to press up along Blaine’s side, needing more support than usual. And helping an attractive man to his bedroom was affecting Blaine more than it should.

Entering the bedroom, Blaine could tell Kurt had made a few small changes, making the space his own. Blaine pulled down the covers, and turned back to see Kurt wiggling out of his clothes. There was only the bedside light on, and it wasn’t that bright. Needing distraction, Blaine collected the clothes Kurt discarded and put them on a nearby chair. When he turned back, Kurt was already in bed and pulling the covers into place. 

“Goodnight, Kurt.” Blaine said softly, and then he escaped. 

\---

\- Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine got back to the apartment and could smell something delicious cooking. 

He went to the kitchen and saw Kurt sitting at the table, chopping vegetables. Hannah was stirring a pot on the stove. 

"Hi. What smells so good?" He smiled hello to both of them and got himself a glass of water. 

Hannah wiped her hands on a towel. "Chili. Kurt has said that he wants a refresher course on how to cook, so I'm showing him some of my favorite recipes."

Walking over to the table, she looked over Kurt's work. "Great. So, just toss all those vegetables in a big bowl with the dressing and feta cheese and you are done."

Kurt nodded and followed her directions, making a large bowl of Greek salad. 

"Well, boys, I'm going to head home. See you in the morning." Hannah smiled and left them to it. 

Blaine looked around. "What would you like to drink with dinner?" 

Kurt typed on his tablet. "Lemonade. And would you mind dishing up the chili? It's done now."

After taking Kurt his drink, Blaine got two bowls of chili and moved the pot off the stove to cool. He sat down at the table at they started to eat. 

Blaine snuck glances at Kurt. It was still an adjustment seeing him clean-shaven and with such a good haircut. He used to wear his hair longer on the top, in a tall quiff. This style was still off his face like that, but more spiked and not as tall. It suited his face well and made his eyes seem big.

Seeing Kurt like that brought back memories Blaine had seen of him in magazines and on TV, and it suddenly made him more aware he was living with the huge Broadway star, winner of many Tony awards. And he felt a bit uncomfortable, not sure what to say. Who was he compared to Kurt? Kurt had had an amazing career, tons of success, travelled, met important people, dated some of the hottest men, and had money to live a lavish lifestyle. Compared to him, Blaine must seem like a very boring man.

"You are quiet tonight." Kurt commented, his eyes searching Blaine's expression. 

Blaine gave him a tight smile. "Sorry, I guess I'm not that talkative tonight. The food is good though. Thanks for making dinner."

Kurt didn't look too convinced at Blaine's answer, but didn't push it. "I think I'll ask Hannah to help me cook dinner every day while she's still here. I did some cooking when I was younger, but my skills are rusty."

"Great! I love getting a home-cooked meal like this! You are going to spoil me." Blaine tried to relax and go back to their friendly interactions. 

Kurt smirked. "Well, once she is gone, we'll have to figure out it out. Share cooking duties. I'm not going to be your little housewife."

Blaine returned the smile at the image. "I don't know. I bet you'd look good in a frilly pink apron."

Rolling his eyes, Kurt clicked his tablet a little. "Dream on, B." And he swiped his tablet a few times until music started playing. 

The music was a relief, filling the quiet spaces and taking the pressure off to make stilted conversation. They finished their meals and Blaine offered to wash things up, since Kurt cooked. 

Kurt smiled, and walked to the living room. His motions were still careful. Blaine was curious how much of Kurt's difficulty was from muscle weakness that he could work on, and how much was from permanent damage from the accident. 

Finishing up in the kitchen, Blaine thought of what he should do. Normally in the evenings, he would do stuff for his business, returning calls and emails from prospective clients, financial paperwork, or whatever needed to be done. Sometimes, he just hung out with Sam, playing video games or watching movies. Sometimes he went out on dates or with friends.

It was an adjustment moving in here. But he was flattered that Kurt had asked him for his help in this. Kurt was working hard at getting back to normal as much as he could. In three months, Blaine was sure Kurt would be quite able to be on his own. He didn't need to babysit Kurt, or hover over him. But he would need to keep his phone handy in case Kurt texted him. It wasn't like he could call out if he needed help.

Going into the living room, he saw Kurt was relaxing on the sofa. "OK if I join you?"

Kurt just waved beside him in invitation. "You don't have to ask, Blaine. This is your home too while you are here. If I want some time alone, I'll go to my bedroom."

Blaine nodded. That made sense. Sitting down, he saw that Kurt was watching 'Making a Murderer'. 

"Oh, I've heard good things about this." Blaine settled in. 

Kurt smiled over at him and restarted the show. "Here, you need to see it from the beginning. I'm only twenty minutes in so I'll rewatch with you."

They were quickly drawn into the real life crime documentary, making comments as they watched. It was ten episodes long, and they watched the first two before Kurt turned it off. 

"That police force was totally pissed off that he was exonerated with DNA evidence." Kurt commented. 

Blaine agreed. "Can you imagine losing eighteen years of your life, imprisoned on a charge you didn't commit?" 

"Well, no... But I can imagine losing one year of your life." Kurt looked a bit depressed. 

Blaine turned to face him. "We were all so amazed that you came out of it. Everyone around here was celebrating."

Kurt gave him a weak smile. "It's pretty sad that only my health care staff were around to celebrate it."

"Is there anyone else we should contact for you? Nothing has been released to the press about you." Blaine wondered if it would be good to do a press conference, or have his agent give info to the press. Surely friends would come to Kurt if they knew.

Kurt shook his head. "Maybe later, when I'm stronger. When I know what I want to do with my life. Right now the story would be 'Singer Out of Coma, But Can't Sing'." He sighed. 

Blaine nodded in understanding. "Well, at least you have enough money to live comfortably until you figure it out."

Scoffing, Kurt shook his head. "Adam was in contact with me lately about that. We shared a bunch of terse emails. He says that since I don't need all the medical staff anymore, it's obvious I'm recovering well. He's going to stop covering my medical bills and the rent of the apartment in six months."

"That's ridiculous! You are barely out of a coma!" Blaine was furious. 

Kurt just shook his head slowly, looking tired. "He's been quite generous, really. And I don't doubt he would have covered my bills for as long as I stayed in a coma."

"But it's different now because you aren't?" Blaine didn't understand their dynamic, their relationship. 

Getting up, Kurt walked slowly around the room, touching little decorative items on the shelves. "We were having a lot of problems at the end, and would have split up soon. But then I had the accident and he would have looked terrible in the press if he abandoned me then."

Blaine scoffed. "So he waited a year before going back to England, moving you in here."

"He deserves to have his life back. He's covered a lot of huge medical bills, and my savings are still intact." Kurt shrugged. 

Blaine still thought the rich Englishman could do more. Obviously, Kurt couldn't go back to his old career. 

Kurt sat back down on the sofa. "I have six months to figure things out. Get as strong as I can physically and see what kind of work I can do. I may have to move to a smaller apartment, so I'll enjoy this one while I still can."

"Forgive me if this is too sensitive a question, but there is no way to get your voice back? Even to talk?" Blaine had been curious about it for so long. 

Kurt shook his head, and tears filled his eyes. Blaine felt crappy for upsetting him, and grabbed some tissues for him. Kurt wiped at his eyes. 

"The doctor said I was on a ventilator for a while after the accident and they can cause damage to vocal cords sometimes. They didn't know until I woke up, of course." 

Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand. "Could you check with a specialist? Just to be sure?" 

Kurt shook his head, and Blaine didn't want to push it. 

\---

Blaine was running around the kitchen, feeling frazzled. 

Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Blaine rushing around, looking amused. "Are you always like this when you cook? Calm down, Blaine."

Blaine just shot him a glare, and continued stirring the dressing. He didn't know why he was feeling so nervous about tonight, but it was making it hard to concentrate on making a meal he'd made many times before. He'd almost forgotten to put mozzarella on the top of the lasagna. 

The doorbell rang and Blaine went to answer it. He took a deep breath before opening the door. 

"Hey buddy!" Sam stepped inside and gave Blaine a hard hug. "It feels like longer than a week since I've seen you."

Blaine smiled at his friend. It was good to see him too. "Hey Sam. Come on in. Now remember what I told you about Kurt. Don't make him feel uncomfortable, OK?" 

Sam sometimes blurted things out that made Blaine cringe. He didn't mean to be hurtful, but he didn't have much of a filter. It was the main thing Blaine was worried about tonight. 

"Yeah, yeah..." Sam slapped Blaine's back and followed him to the kitchen. 

Kurt stood up as Sam entered, a shy smile in his face. 

"Kurt, this is my old high school friend, Sam Evans. Sam, this is my...um....friend, Kurt Hummel." Blaine made the introductions, blushing a little at what to call Kurt. Were they friends? It still felt a bit strange to think of him that way. 

They shook hands, Sam's big easy smile making Kurt relax. 

Blaine brought over some beers and sat at the table. "I'm cooking lasagna and it will be done in about a half hour."

"Great. I'm hungry." Sam was full of energy, looking back and forth between Blaine and Kurt. 

Kurt clicked on his tablet. "So Sam, what was it like going to school with Blaine?" The accent was American, but a different one than Kurt used with Blaine. 

"You talk with the tablet? That's so cool!" Sam stared at the iPad mini, totally disregarding Blaine's earlier warning about the topic. "You sound quite normal. It's a bit disappointing, frankly. I thought you'd sound more like a robot."

Kurt smiled and Blaine could tell by his eyes that he was amused, not offended. Sam was like a big puppy dog at times, and never meant to hurt anybody. 

Clicking a couple times, Kurt grinned back at Sam. "Like this?" The voice had changed to one that sounded more artificial, more like Stephen Hawking's. 

Sam chuckled and moved his chair closer to Kurt's, laughing as they tried out all the different voice settings. Kurt had a laugh that was almost silent, more just a certain way of exhaling, but his expressive face more than made up for it. 

Blaine just shook his head and left them to it, getting up to finish preparing the meal. He had been nervous about Sam and Kurt getting along. Sam was a little rough around the edges, and Kurt was more cultured, sophisticated. But looking back at how amused they both were over some silly sounding voices, he was going to have to rethink that. 

"What did your old voice sound like?" Sam asked. He hadn't paid attention to Broadway over the years, only occasionally letting Blaine drag him to a performance. He didn't know about Kurt's history.

Kurt looked a bit surprised at the question, but he clicked a little on his tablet. 

As Blaine set the table, the sound of an old interview of Kurt's played from the tablet. He was talking about his latest singing role and the upcoming Tony awards, joking around with the reporter in a confident way. That was the old Kurt. The only version of Kurt Blaine had known for so long. It was weird hearing that voice from the past with Kurt right there. Blaine's gaze caught Kurt's and he could see the jumble of emotions there. 

"Woah, there are so many of your interviews on YouTube!" Sam grabbed Kurt's tablet, scrolling downwards. "You were really famous, huh?"

"Sam! Give Kurt back his tablet! He needs it to talk." Blaine just shook his head at his friend, and shot Kurt an apologetic look. 

Serving up the meal, Blaine sat down at the table. Everyone dug in hungrily and complimented Blaine's cooking. 

"I'd like to get to know you better. Where did you grow up? How did you get into your type of work?"

Blaine recognized Kurt's question as one he'd asked Blaine a couple months ago. 

Sam took a big bite of his garlic bread, chewing it as he thought. "My family moved around a bit for work, but we settled in Chicago for my high school. I became friends with Blaine then."

Taking a long sip of beer, Sam set it down and looked back at Kurt. "I've done lots of different jobs over the years. I didn't go to college. I've worked as a server, model, and actor mostly. The film industry in New York is pretty steady, and I know a lot of people now." 

Kurt nodded. He clicked on his tablet and Blaine guessed he had a whole page of questions for Sam. Kurt was always on his tablet, and he had notes for various people. As things occurred to him, he would add to that person's note and ask them later when he saw them in person. Lately, Blaine came home and Kurt already had tons of things about ‘Making a Murderer’ to discuss. Things he'd found on the Internet or his own ideas about the case. They had watched two episodes every night this week and were still intrigued by it.

"What embarrassing things can you tell me about Blaine?" 

Blaine shot Kurt a glare. "Hey! That's not fair. Don't answer that, Sam."

Sam was laughing at their interaction. "But I have a doozy...I don't think I can keep it in."

Kurt's eyes widened and he motioned with his hands for Sam to tell him. 

Giving Blaine a shrug, Sam smiled. "Blaine used to have a poster of you on his wall."

 _Oh crap._ Blaine lowered his head down to the table, wanting to crawl under it. 

"Really? Which poster?" He heard Kurt ask. The tablet didn't have any emotional inflection to it, but he knew Kurt would be smirking if he glanced at him. 

Sam was chuckling at Blaine. "I don't know. You are wearing a tight grey t-shirt and jeans, looking all intense."

"Oh, that's from 'Next to Normal'." Kurt replied. It had been Kurt's breakout role, the one that first made him a star. The musical had been playing a few years when Kurt had been chosen to replace a departing actor in the role of Gabe. Quickly, it was sold out for months and the news had story after story about this hot new star. Blaine had saved up to go, and had been blown away by Kurt's passionate performance.

Blaine sat up, feeling sheepish. "Yes, I was a little fanboy over you back then." He shrugged. "I was just a teenager."

Sam laughed. "Bullshit! It was here in New York, so you were 23 at least."

Smirking, Kurt typed. "Yeah, I was 24 when I did that role, and you're a year younger than me." 

"OK. Busted. Now would you two please quit ganging up on me?" Blaine stood up, gathering the dirty dishes. "I cooked, so you two can clean up." And he gave them both a haughty stare before spinning on his heel and leaving the room. 

Going back to his bedroom, Blaine laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was embarrassing, being exposed like that. Sure, at 23, he was a little old to have a picture of a celebrity on his wall. But he had been totally rocked by the show, had bought the soundtrack and practically worn it out. He was new to New York then, struggling to work in music and barely finding other jobs to pay the bills. 

He had escaped by going into his tiny bedroom, putting on the soundtrack, staring at Kurt's poster in the wall. Remembering his intense performance. The set was a simplified cross section of a house, showing the different floors, barely scaffolding, stairs and flooring. 

Kurt had used the space so well, climbing the scaffolding effortlessly, twirling around the poles that made it up, hanging from it. A very physical performance while singing so intensely. He was beautiful and so emotional. 

Yes, Blaine had a crush on him back then. But it was just a way to escape. He never would have stalked Kurt or anything. He didn't even wait outside the theatre for an autograph, like most fans did. In time, the crush faded but Blaine still appreciated Kurt's work, following news of his career and his personal life. 

It was strange how much he knew about Kurt, come to think if it. In addition to following his public image, Blaine had unpacked all his personal possession. Touched it all. And Kurt only knew the surface stuff of Blaine. It was hardly equal. 

\---

When Blaine finally emerged from his room, he found Sam and Kurt on the sofa. "Sorry about before, guys. Want some coffee and tiramisu?"

They nodded, turning their attention back to Kurt's tablet. 

Bringing a tray with everything on it, Blaine sat in a nearby armchair. "What are you working on?"

"I'm seeing if we can make a voice template out of Kurt's old interviews. There's a lot of recordings of him around." Sam grinned up at Blaine. 

Blaine was surprised. "You know how to do something like that?"

Shrugging, Sam looked over at Kurt. "I dated a sound editor for a while. She showed me a thing or two. In fact, we are still in good terms. I bet she would help me with this." Sam had enjoyed working in the film industry and picked up a lot of skills over the years. Hands-on training suited his learning style better than reading textbooks.

Blaine took a bite of his dessert. "But wouldn't you need a recording of Kurt saying thousands of words?"

Handing a mug of coffee to Kurt, Sam took a sip from his own. "There is good technology now. You know how your phone can convert a voice mail to a text message? It does a pretty good job, but it misses a few words. We could run the videos through voice recognition software like that and get transcripts of the interviews. And then it's a lot of sound editing to pick the clearest version of each word. They use stuff like that in movies all the time. It's called ADR."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my friend Sam Evans?" Blaine looked at his friend in wonder. He'd never heard him talk so knowledgeably about a technical topic like that. 

"Well, it would be great if you can do it, Sam. It's fun to play around with different accents but it would be nice to have my own voice saying my words." Kurt smiled at Sam. "I can pay you for your time. It sounds like it could take awhile."

Sam looked pleased. "We can work out the details later. I'll talk to some people I know in sound editing and see if they think it's feasible or not."

Kurt got up and took some playing cards from a cabinet. "Want to play? I know a fun game for three or more people."

Sam and Blaine were agreeable, and Kurt taught them the rules. It was a game called Frustration, similar to Gin Rummy, but with different levels for each round. It was fun and competitive. Kurt had a bunch of pre-typed insults and he kept calling them names whenever they took a card he wanted or won a round, making them all laugh.

It got late, and Blaine walked Sam to the door. "Thanks for coming over, Sam. I'm glad you and Kurt got along so well."

"He's an awesome guy. Funny how he's so fast on his tablet, you almost forget he's not actually saying the words." Sam slipped on his coat. 

"Do you really think you could do that thing with his voice? I don't want you getting his hopes up, for them to just crash. He's had enough disappointments in his life lately." Blaine gave Sam a steady look. 

Sam nodded, understanding where Blaine was coming from. "I will under-promise and hopefully over-deliver. But really, there's a good chance this could work. And if we are missing some words, there are voice actors with a similar pitch to his that we could record." 

Blaine nodded. It made sense. 

"What's going on between you two, anyways?" Sam asked softly.

Furrowing his brow, Blaine looked at his questioningly. "What do you mean? We're just friends."

Sam scoffed. "Come on, Blaine. I know you have been into him for almost a decade. And he was giving you a few looks tonight."

Kurt had been looking at him? Really? Blaine had never even considered the possibility. He shrugged. "Sure, he's attractive. But we are just friends. He actually thought you and I were a couple, and was worried that it would hurt our relationship if I lived here."

"Well, I have been sleeping in your bed all this week." Sam laughed, and gave him a quick hug before leaving.

Back in the living room, Kurt was gathering up the dirty dishes, putting them on the tray. 

"Hey, let me carry that back to the kitchen." Blaine stepped forward and took it from Kurt. 

"Thanks for bringing Sam by. He's fun to be around." Kurt commented, trailing behind Blaine. 

"I'm just glad he didn't say anything to offend you." Blaine unloaded the tray and stashed it away. 

Kurt leaned against the counter, a small grin on his lips. "He's got a big mouth?"

Blaine chuckled as he put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. "In more ways than one. One cheerleader used to call him 'trouty mouth'. But mostly he just talks without thinking sometimes."

"Sorry he embarrassed you about the poster." Kurt replied, watching Blaine. 

Sighing, Blaine finished the dishes and closed the dishwasher, leaning back against the counter to look at Kurt. "Maybe I should have told you before that I was a big fan of yours. But I didn't want things to be weird between us."

Kurt was looking over at Blaine, letting his eyes travel over his face slowly. And then they went lower, taking in his light blue tee and the black jeans. 

Blaine felt frozen under Kurt's gaze, and suddenly so aware of him. This was not Kurt his friend. This was Kurt, the man. This was whom Blaine had felt drawn to, all those years ago, up on the stage. This was pure physical awareness, and the kitchen felt smaller. Warmer. 

Kurt gave a little smirk, glancing down at his tablet. "It's OK. We are just friends now. I'm feeling a little tired. Would you help me to my room?"

Shaking himself out of his trance, Blaine nodded and stepped closer to wrap his arm around Kurt's waist. As they walked slowly to Kurt's bedroom, Blaine felt very aware of the man beside him. The heat of his body pressed against Blaine. The brush of their legs as they walked. The slim waist under his hand, only a thin dress shirt between his hand and Kurt's bare skin. Kurt's light cologne. 

Blaine mumbled goodnight at Kurt's bedroom door, and Kurt had that small smirk on his lips as he silently thanked Blaine with his expressive big eyes, and closed the door. 

Back in his bedroom, Blaine quickly stripped and slipped under the covers. He moaned softly as he ran his hand down his erection. Getting lube from his bedside table, his strokes were hard and fast. He was too turned on to hold back. 

And when he laid back on the pillows, panting after his intense release, thoughts whirled around his head. Had Kurt noticed his erection? Was that why he had been smirking? It was going to be hard living together if he kept having this reaction when he was around Kurt. Mortifying. He needed to be in better control. 

\---

Disclaimer: - I own nothing


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine slept in, and then took his time getting out of bed. It was nice having a relaxing Sunday stretched out in front of him.

Throwing on some shorts and a t-shirt, he wandered to the kitchen. There was coffee made, and he poured a mug, carrying it out to the balcony. 

He thought Kurt was still sleeping, so he was surprised to find Kurt also on the balcony. He had a mat on the floor, and he was doing yoga, the morning light washing over him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Kurt. I didn’t realize you were out here.” Blaine retreated back a step. 

Kurt waved at him, and then towards the armchair, indicating Blaine should sit down. 

Not wanting to make a big deal of it, Blaine sat down, sipping his coffee and looking out at the view. But his eyes kept being drawn back to Kurt.

It was obvious he was very experienced in yoga, as he moved from pose to pose without hesitation. At times, there was a tightness in his body and his expression, as he tried to do a pose that was challenging, but he stayed with it, his breathing deep and even. Kurt was not one to give up easily. 

It must have taken years of hard work for Kurt to make it to the top of his profession and stay there so many years. Blaine knew that he got into NYADA, and just completing that program was hard enough. Then he had been in roles that were vocally and physically demanding, back-to-back, for years. 

Blaine’s eyes traced over Kurt’s body, wondering about it. Was he damaged permanently from the accident, besides his voice? Was he scarred? And how had he been affected by the coma? He was weak, likely his muscles had atrophied from lack of use, and he needed to work to get them back. But his body was still slim, and his complexion looked healthy. 

It took Kurt sitting down in the other armchair to shake Blaine out of his thoughts. He glanced at him. “What do you want to do today?” 

Kurt reached over and grabbed his tablet. “I’d like to go for a walk, get a change of scene.”

Blaine was surprised. “Are you concerned about being recognized?” 

Shrugging, Kurt typed a bit. “Nah. I’ll dress down and wear sunglasses and a hat. Works every time.” 

“How about the zoo? They apparently have a new baby penguin.” Blaine had been meaning to check it out sometime. 

Kurt took a few minutes, considering. “Well, as long as we can take it slow and I can sit down on benches to rest frequently.”

\---

“Did you ever hear about the gay penguins at this zoo?” Blaine looked over at Kurt. They were on a bench, watching the penguins walk around, jumping into the water. 

Kurt just shook his head. He was avoiding using the tablet unless really needed, not wanting people to look at him strangely. 

Blaine gave him a little smile. “It was before I moved to New York, in the late ‘90s. There were two male penguins that were performing mating rituals, but no sex acts apparently. But they were seen treating a rock like an egg. So the zookeepers gave them an egg that had been abandoned, and they raised the baby girl penguin, named Tango, together.” 

Smiling at Blaine, Kurt just shook his head. “Bullshit.” He mouthed the word, but it was totally clear what he meant. 

Laughing, Blaine pulled out his phone, and tapped on it. He showed Kurt the website for the children’s book, ‘And Tango Makes Three’. “The book was pretty controversial, as you can imagine.” 

Kurt nodded and passed Blaine’s phone back. He got up and pointed towards the small snack hut nearby selling ice cream. 

Blaine walked with Kurt to the hut, and ordered the ice cream Kurt pointed to, and one for himself. Walking slowly, they ate the ice cream and enjoyed the atmosphere of the zoo. Lots of families, lots of trees, watching the animals…it felt good to just enjoy those simple pleasures. 

After a few minutes, Blaine urged Kurt to sit on another bench. This one was a little distance from the pathway, and no one was nearby.

“Kurt, can I ask you about something? It’s kind of a sensitive subject.” Blaine wasn’t sure if he should ask this, but he was curious. 

Turning towards Blaine, Kurt took off his sunglasses, and nodded. 

Blaine bit his lip. “Can you remember the accident? How did it happen? Besides the coma and your voice, were you injured from it?” The news had only mentioned a car accident and focused on the coma. Very few other details were given.

Sighing, Kurt pulled the tablet from his messenger bag, and took a while typing. “Adam and I were fighting, like we were so often around that time. I left in the middle of the night, going to drive to New York to stay at my apartment there. I was emotional, and the road was a bit icy. “

Blaine nodded, encouraging Kurt to go on. 

“I don’t remember the actual accident, which is probably a good thing. They say I broke my leg and hit my head... that’s what caused the coma. My leg feels a bit sore now, and there are a few scars from the broken glass, but they are pretty faded. Now I just feel weak and like my body isn’t really my own.” Kurt shrugged. “But it's starting to come back.”

Putting his arm around Kurt’s shoulders, Blaine drew him close to his side. He did it without thinking, just wanting to comfort Kurt. And Kurt sunk into it, relaxing against Blaine, and letting his cheek rest against his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a long time. Blaine liked having Kurt close like this. 

Eventually, Kurt pulled back and typed on his tablet again. “I’m lucky I wasn’t injured worse, or killed. I need to appreciate that and make the most of what I do have. I need to find what I can do next for a career.”

Blaine admired his spirit. Kurt wasn’t one to wallow in what went wrong. To lose his voice was horrible, but he was still alive. Still able to do so many things. “Well, if I can help you in any way, let me know.” 

“It will take some soul searching to figure out what is next. I’ve been so focused on a singing career for so long, I haven’t even been aware of the other possibilities.” Kurt blinked slowly. 

Thinking about what he knew about Kurt, Blaine threw out some ideas. “I unpacked all your stuff, so I’d say I know you fairly well from that. You seem to be very interested in fashion, music, pop culture. And you write very well, and very fast, on that damn tablet.” 

Kurt smirked at Blaine. “Are there any jobs that involve typing fast on a tablet?” 

“No idea.” Blaine smiled back. “Hey, another thing you could look at is those boxes of personal items I put in the office cabinet. They are packed full of old pictures, letters, all that kind of stuff. I never looked at it thoroughly. Maybe you could organize it, put it into a scrapbook, and see if any old interests come to mind.” 

\---

The next Friday night, they ordered in Chinese food and ate while watching a movie. Blaine was glad to have the weekend off. He was coming to the end of the project with the hoarder, and it had been very emotional. Drinking a couple beers was taking the edge off.

“Hey, want to see what I’ve been working on?” Kurt nudged Blaine’s shoulder. 

Blaine nodded. He had been curious about Kurt’s past, but wouldn’t violate his privacy uninvited.

Kurt grabbed a scrapbook and settled close beside Blaine.

Opening the book, Blaine flipped to the first pictures. There were pictures of Kurt in high school, part of a singing group. “So, is that where you got the singing bug?” 

Kurt nodded, looking fondly over the pictures. 

Blaine caught the look. “Are you in touch with any of your old friends?” 

Typing on his tablet, Kurt soon replied. “No, not for a long time. We grew apart, got busy with our own lives.” 

Flipping through some more pages, he saw Kurt at NYADA, doing some of his early performances, and then some small off-Broadway productions. “Amazing to think that was all ten years ago.” 

Looking through more of it, there were pictures from many of Kurt’s performances over the years, with behind the scenes pictures of other cast and crew. He noticed a few faces repeating often. 

“Who is that?” Blaine pointed to one man sitting close to Kurt in a picture. He looked vaguely familiar. 

Kurt typed. “Nate Robinson.” 

Blaine looked at Kurt questioningly. “Wasn’t he your director in several productions?” 

Nodding, Kurt looked up, meeting Blaine’s gaze before looking away. “We were close friends until I got serious with Adam. He didn’t like him, and we ended up arguing about it.” 

Giving Kurt a raised eyebrow, Blaine was quiet. 

Kurt closed his eyes. “Yes, he turned out to be right about Adam.” 

“You did great work with him.” Blaine said softly, turning the page. 

There were a lot of pictures of Kurt with Adam. Happy, couple pictures in the beginning, vacations and parties. But over time there were fewer pictures, often together at red carpet events, looking distant from each other even if they were holding hands for the picture. Blaine didn’t bother commenting. He had his share of failed relationships in the past too.

Blaine nudged his shoulder. “How do you feel about this? Looking through it all?” 

Sighing, Kurt closed the book and put it on the coffee table. “I think the next step is to go public. Make a statement or something. Although what am I supposed to say? Hey, everybody! I’m not in a coma!” 

“Or you could be more dramatic. Go to some big society function and pull off a mask and watch everyone freak out.” Blaine chuckled. 

Kurt did his almost silent laughter. “It would be even worse if I did that and everyone shrugged and said ‘Who the fuck is that?’ If no one cared.”

“Well, you had an agent back then. Could you contact her and see what she recommends?” Blaine was impressed that Kurt was considering even doing this. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Kurt typed. “Although I was hoping to have more of an idea of my future. “

Blaine moved closer to Kurt, and put an arm around his shoulders. Kurt leaned into him. Blaine wrapped his other arm around Kurt, giving him a hug. 

It felt good, holding Kurt. Blaine ran his hand slowly up and down his back, in a comforting way. Kurt had been so strong, for so long. 

Shifting a bit closer, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine. Pulling back a little, he looked over Blaine’s face, taking in his large dark eyes and his full lips, and he leaned forward, lightly touching his lips to Blaine’s. 

Blaine stilled, hardly daring to breathe. He looked at Kurt’s big eyes.

Cupping Blaine’s face, Kurt kissed him again, harder. Blaine gasped, sinking into the kiss. His heart was pounding, and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. 

Pushing on his shoulder, Kurt urged Blaine to lie back on the sofa, until they were lying flat, exchanging kiss after kiss. They were hot, intense. Blaine’s hands were on Kurt’s back, pulling him in closer. 

As quick as it started, it stopped. Kurt pulled back, sitting up on the sofa, running his hand over his face. 

Blaine sat up beside him, looking over at Kurt, feeling confused. 

Kurt just gave Blaine an apologetic look, patted his shoulder, and left. 

\---

Blaine woke up to a call on his cell. Groggily, he fumbled around on his bedside table until he found it.

“Blaine, you’re famous.” Sam’s voice sounded far too cheerful for this early in the day.

Yawning, Blaine tried to make sense of what Sam had said “Famous? What?” 

Sam chuckled. “Well, not really famous since it’s just your picture and not your name. But Kurt’s in the picture too.” 

Sitting up, Blaine tried to wake up. “OK, start again from the beginning. What picture? Where?” 

“I was on set and the make-up artist was chatting with some other people and I heard Kurt’s name getting mentioned. They were all talking about how there’s a rumour going around that he’s not in a coma anymore.” Sam finally talked straight.

Hopping out of bed, Blaine yanked some clothes on. “Shit, really? Did you say anything?” 

Sam laughed. “Not about knowing him or anything. I just asked what they were talking about and she showed me a picture of the two of you on some website.” 

“Fuck! I gotta go, Sam. Don’t tell anybody about this.” Blaine hung up and went to find Kurt.

Kurt was doing yoga on the balcony again. 

“Kurt, grab your tablet and come into the kitchen. We have to talk.” Blaine went back to the kitchen, pouring out two coffees and setting them on the table.

“Is this about last night? Because I wanted to apologize…” Kurt was standing in the doorway, watching as Blaine walked around the kitchen, agitated.

Sitting down, Blaine sighed. “No, not about that. Can I borrow your tablet for a second?” 

Eyebrows raised, Kurt passed it over. 

Blaine did a search on Kurt, and immediately three pictures came up. One of them talking on the bench, one of them hugging, and another that was a close-up of Kurt’s face when he had the sunglasses off. The headlines of various stories mentioned the coma and Kurt’s name. He passed it back to Kurt.

Sipping his coffee, he watched Kurt’s face as he looked at the pictures and clicked on some of the stories. From the quick glance Blaine had at the search, it looked like the stories were pretty speculative, but the picture was clear enough that Kurt could be identified. 

Blaine was clear in the picture too, so any friends who saw it would recognize it, but he wasn’t known that widely otherwise. 

“So, should we contact your agent, and see how we can handle this?” Blaine asked eventually.

Sighing, Kurt nodded. 

\---

“Melissa Sampson, please.” Blaine asked, when the agency phone was picked up.

“Who shall I tell her is calling?” The woman was cool and professional.

Blaine swallowed. “Blaine Anderson for Kurt Hummel.” 

The woman made a surprised noise. “Oh, just a second.” 

A second later, the phone clicked through. “Melissa Sampson.” 

“Ms. Sampson, my name is Blaine Anderson. I don’t know if you have been monitoring the news lately, but you may have seen some pictures of a former client of yours. Kurt Hummel.” Blaine tried to keep his voice steady, professional.

She cleared her throat. “I have no comment about that, Mr. Anderson.”

“Wait, wait…” Blaine could tell she thought he was a reporter, and was going to disconnect. “I’m here with Kurt Hummel. Could we connect with you via Skype or FaceTime? It will be a better way to communicate.” 

He could tell he caught her off guard. But after a few moments, she agreed, and they made arrangements.

Blaine opened his laptop and connected to Skype. A minute later, a woman in her fifties was on screen. She had a short, blond haircut and large dark-framed glasses. Kurt waved at her.

“Hi, Ms. Sampson. I’m Blaine and you obviously know Kurt.” 

“Call me Melissa. Kurt, can you tell me what’s going on?” Melissa was looking over at Kurt, her expression puzzled.

Kurt typed on his tablet. “Melissa, I’ve been out of the coma for about two months, and recovering well. But my vocal cords were damaged in the accident, and I can’t speak.” 

Her eyebrows rose at that, and then she nodded. “Kid, you’ve been through a crazy rollercoaster the last few years, haven’t you? Sheesh.” 

Sighing, she looked down for a second, looking emotional. Then she looked back up, blinking her eyes rapidly. “First, let me just say I’m so fucking happy you are doing alright. I never thought I’d get a chance to talk to you again, and if I don’t get to see you face to face in the next 24 hours so I can hug the stuffing out of you, I don’t know what I’ll do.” 

Kurt smiled back, blinking fast too at the tears threatening to stream down his face. He’d known Melissa since he graduated from NYADA. She’d believed in him from the start. 

“Secondly, I guess I’m your agent again because everyone’s been calling me about you the last few days. This is quite a story, and now that you have lost your voice as well… we will have to talk about how you want to handle it.” She pulled a legal pad over, tapping a pen on it. 

Blaine smiled as Kurt and Melissa discussed it, ready to help out if Kurt had any communication problems. But he was fast on the tablet, and Kurt knew Melissa well. He liked how fast she caught on to the situation and started bringing up good options. 

\---

Blaine was cooking up some omelets and buttering toast by the time Kurt ended the call. Melissa and Kurt had no problems communicating over Skype, so Blaine had stepped away to prepare some breakfast. He dished up the food and carried the plates over to the table, and refreshed their coffees.

“So, do you feel OK with her plan?” Blaine sat down and dug into his breakfast. 

Kurt sipped his coffee, and then he shrugged. He typed a little on his tablet. “I’d rather just have my privacy, but sooner or later, it would end up in the news.” He knew there was interest in his story from the past drama. Better to just get it out there, and let it blow over.

Chuckling, Blaine sprinkled salt and pepper over his meal. “It was kind of funny how she kept suggesting you do an interview, and you kept having to remind her that you couldn’t speak. Imagine doing an interview where you played your tablet messages the whole time.” 

Smiling, Kurt could see the humor in it. “Well, I could do a print interview, I guess.” 

“Do you really think my name has to get out there? Can’t you just leave me out of it?” Blaine felt a bit uncomfortable about that part of it. 

Kurt tilted his head, looking at Blaine. “What? Are you embarrassed of being associated with me?” 

Blaine looked down. It was all so confusing. They were friends, and then there had been the kissing last night. Was that just because they were alone together, and a bit lonely? Was there more to it? 

To say in news article that they were just friends would still imply that they were more than that. They looked intimate in the pictures, at least good friends, and some may think it was a relationship. And if it got out he was living in Kurt’s apartment, it could be taken as more serious than it was. He just wanted to avoid people speculating. 

Sighing, Blaine looked back at Kurt. “No, but everyone is going to think we are a couple no matter what. I like you as a friend, Kurt. And then last night…” He didn’t know what to make of it. 

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly, and Blaine could see a flash of hurt, before he looked away. Getting up, he cleared away the dishes. Blaine had cooked, so he was washing up. 

\---

\- Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

In the end, Melissa and Kurt decided to release a statement. Just the bare simple facts. 

**Former Broadway singer Kurt Hummel has come out of a one-year coma. As a result of his accident, he has suffered permanent damage to his vocal cords and will not be returning to the stage. Otherwise, he is recovering well at home.**

Short, sweet, and to the point. Blaine was a little relieved he wasn't mentioned. 

\---

It was surprising how many friends and former colleagues contacted Melissa's office. Her staff took people's contact information and emailed it daily to Kurt for him to decide whom to contact. 

Over the next few weeks, Kurt sent emails to almost everyone, reestablishing many old relationships. He kept it to emails and text messages, not comfortable yet using the tablet in front of old acquaintances and feeling self-consciousness of his physical state. These were people who knew him at his peak, and he wanted a little more time to recover. 

Blaine and Kurt had gone back to just being friends. Kurt was stronger week by week, and no longer needed help walking. 

Blaine still wondered about that night of kissing. It was so out of the blue, and Kurt stopped so abruptly. Had it just been because Blaine was there, convenient? There were times he caught himself staring at Kurt's mouth, his lips, and shook himself out of it before Kurt could notice.

\---

One evening, they were watching a comedy and Kurt got an email. 

Blaine could tell something was different. Kurt was frozen on the sofa, hardly even breathing. Blaine paused the movie, turning to Kurt. 

"Kurt, what is it? Can I help?" Concern for him had Blaine moving closer, putting a hand on his arm as he searched Kurt's face. 

Kurt blinked a few times, and then turned his tablet for Blaine to see the latest email in his inbox. It was from Carole Hudson-Hummel. The subject was 'Kurt, I just got your news'.

"That is excellent, Kurt. Right? I thought you two were quite close." Blaine searched Kurt's face trying to determine his feelings about it. He was clearly overwhelmed. 

Blaine held out his arms and Kurt burrowed into them. Blaine rubbed his back, making soothing noises as Kurt pushed his face into Blaine's shoulder. He realized Kurt was quietly crying, and his heart went out to him. 

"Oh honey, that's right, let it out." Blaine was glad to be here for Kurt, able to support him through all this. 

When Kurt finally pulled back, he reached quickly to a side table for tissues, wiping his face and blowing his nose. His eyes were still red and watery, his skin blotchy from the crying. Blaine thought he'd never looked more beautiful. 

Kurt stared down at his tablet, still occasionally lifting a tissue to wipe away a tear. 

Blaine rested a hand on his shoulder. "Would you like me to read the email to you, Kurt?" 

Kurt's big eyes met his, and he slowly nodded, passing the tablet to Blaine. He drew his feet up on the sofa; hugging his knees tightly, tense. 

His hand shaking slightly, Blaine opened the email. 

**Hey Kiddo,**

**I can barely write this as tears keep running down my face. I just got a message from a friend that you have woken up from your coma. I couldn't be happier with any news in the world. It's so incredible. This is the best thing ever and I have been driving all my coworkers crazy with it.**

**I have to see you so I've arranged for a flight to New York this Saturday. It is several hours on a bus to get into Bangkok and then a twenty-hour flight. I should be there by noon Sunday.**

**Please let me know if I should book a hotel or if you have a bed I could crash in. This old lady will be seriously jet lagged and probably barely fit for company for a couple days.**

**Warning, when I see you, I'll probably hug and kiss you for at least an hour. And then hug and kiss you some more.**

**All my love,  
Carole**

As he had read it, Kurt had cried some more, going through tissue after tissue. Blaine put down the tablet and hugged Kurt, letting him cry again. He was shaking, and Blaine stroked his back, holding him tight. 

Kurt was practically limp by the time he sat back on the sofa, his eyes still red but a happy smile there as well.

"That is so great, Kurt. It sounds like she didn't get the message we sent when you came out of your coma. But it seems like where she is working is quite remote if it takes hours to get to Bangkok." Blaine smiled tenderly down at his friend. 

Kurt typed on his tablet. "Yeah, I visited there, a few months before the accident. It's in a very undeveloped area, and there's very little health care there. Hardly even clean water. But she loves the work and she needed it after Dad passed. Something to take up the huge empty space in her life." 

Nodding, Blaine had to get a few of his own tissues to mop his damp cheeks and blow his nose. "There is no way she's staying anywhere but here. How about I move into the den until she is over her jet lag, and then I go back to my apartment for the rest of her visit?" He scoffed. "You wanted to get away from being around nurses so much, and now one is coming to visit you for a while."

Kurt chuckled in his almost silent way along with Blaine. It was a relief to laugh after the storm of emotions that night. "Are you sure, Blaine? You don't have to leave." Kurt's eyes searched his. 

Blaine was grateful that Kurt said that, was at least a bit sad to see him go. "I think it's best for now. Carole is your only remaining family and you two need your time together, I think. But I'll be by to visit and hopefully meet her, OK?"

Kurt nodded. "Definitely. Is Sam going to be OK with you moving back?"

Blaine pulled out his phone. "Well, he's not paying rent, so he can't complain too much." Getting up from the sofa, Blaine went into his bedroom to make the call.

\---

When he came out later, Kurt was in the kitchen. "Sam is fine with it. And even better news, he's been working on your voice app, or whatever you want to call it, and he wants to show it to you."

Kurt smiled. "That's so great. Can he come over for dinner tomorrow?"

Blaine texted Sam and nodded back a couple minutes later.

\---

"OK, Kurt, let's test it out. Just text like normal and hit 'Speak'." Sam was sitting close to Kurt at the kitchen table. 

Kurt's hands were shaking as he typed, not able to do it with his usual speed. He clicked the button. 

"Hello. My name is Kurt Hummel."

The voice from the tablet was a familiar one, and Kurt met Blaine's eyes. 

Blaine nodded. It sounded great. "Sam, that is so good."

Sam grinned, pleased. "We were also able to create a listing of complete sentences you said during interviews that are quite clear. The sentences come out better that way then the ones that are individual words pieced together." 

Kurt looked over the list, laughing at some of the sentences. He clicked one. "Fuck you, I'm fabulous."

Blaine chuckled, hearing that line. It was something that had almost become Kurt's buzz phrase, getting bleeped if it was ever played on TV, of course. It summed up Kurt back then, when he was in high demand and took many artistic risks. And the audience had loved it. 

Sam and Kurt played around with the app, laughing a lot. Blaine smiled, hearing Kurt's old voice. It was a bit stilted at times, but suited Kurt so much better than the voices in his tablet. The male voices on there were a little too low, and the female ones were too high. 

Sam had even sampled different laughs of Kurt's, from a chuckle to a hard laugh. 

"Well, I think this will work great, Sam. Can we add more words to it later on?" Kurt used the app to say this. 

Sam nodded. "Yes, we had a voice actor record about 300 common words that were missing. His tone is similar enough to yours that I don't think it will be too jarring. We can always record more with him, so just make a list and we can add to it."

Blaine just shook his head at his old friend, setting the roast chicken on the table. "Sam, you really seem to like doing this. Maybe you could market something like this for other people with speech impairments. So many people have lots of home videos, maybe you could do customized voice apps for them too."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe. Although Kurt's interviews were done with professional equipment and we were able to sample a lot of clear words from them. Home videos aren't as well miked. But at least we could get an idea of their tone and match it."

Their conversation flowed as they enjoyed the meal; Kurt's voice frequently a part of it. 

\---

Blaine could tell Kurt was nervous about Carole's visit. 

He hadn't seen many people from his old life yet, besides Melissa who had come over the same day he made contact to hug Kurt and whack him on the back a few times for not contacting her sooner. He had been in email contact with many people, and had gotten into chatting with a webcam. He was able to see the person, but could communicate with instant messages. It suited him perfectly. Blaine was happy to have Kurt tell him about all sorts of old friends over their meals. He was reconnecting with the world. 

But having Carole visit was different. Kurt bought lots of flowers, putting them all around the apartment. He brought in lots of groceries, planning to cook up all their old favorites. But mostly, he was a ball of nervous energy. 

"Do you want me to go to the airport with you?" Blaine asked. Kurt was still a bit tentative about leaving the apartment. The buzz around him had died down, so it wasn't reporters that concerned him, although he still tended to dress down and wear a hat and sunglasses. He was concerned about using the tablet around strangers. 

Kurt nodded. He looked young and insecure, facing this big thing. 

Blaine stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt tight. "Don't worry so much, Kurt. It's going to be fine. As soon as you see her, it will be like old times."

Kurt returned the hug, feeling so good in Blaine's arms.

\---

Kurt's grip on Blaine's hand was so tight it was bordering on painful. Blaine didn't complain though, knowing that soon Carole would be walking through the international arrivals gate. 

His hand was released when a woman walked through on her own. Her hair was trimmed quite short, a pretty silver-grey. Her eyes and smile were large as she spotted Kurt, and they both walked quickly to each other, resulting in a long, tight hug.

After a couple minutes, Blaine walked slowly towards them, not wanting to intrude. He had come prepared, and held out a tissue package to them. 

Kurt's eyes were bright with unshed tears and happiness, and Blaine was almost tearing up too at seeing it. 

Turning to Carole, he held out his hand. "I'm a friend of Kurt's, Blaine Anderson."

She ignored his hand and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you for being there for my boy." Her whisper was for his ears only, and when she drew back, Blaine was pulling out a tissue to dab at his eyes. 

"Well, aren't we a fine mess." Carole chuckled, looking warmly back and forth between the two men. 

Blaine just shook his head as he led them out to the taxi stand. Carole was going to be a handful, but just what Kurt needed. A big dose of maternal affection and caring. 

On the ride back to Brooklyn, Blaine asked her about her work and was impressed. He guessed her to be in her late fifties, but she was working in some very rough areas.

"I'd love to see your pictures of the area. It sounds rough but beautiful." Blaine turned to gaze back at Carole. She was in the backseat, cuddling with Kurt, and he was soaking it up. 

Carole looked at her stepson. "Haven't you shown Blaine pictures from your visit there?"

He shrugged and shook his head. So far, he hadn't used his tablet around her, relying on Blaine to keep the conversation going. 

"Blaine, bug Kurt to show you those pictures. All the kids in the village fell in love with Kurt, following him around night and day. There's an adorable picture I keep on my wall of Kurt sitting on a chair with three children precariously perched on his lap, none of them willing to concede their spot to the others. And Kurt's grin is so big you can even see his teeth." Carole shot a fond look at Kurt as he rolled his eyes. 

Arriving at the apartment, Blaine carried Carole's luggage inside and got her settled. Even though it was early afternoon, it was a twelve-hour time difference, so around 2 am Thailand time. 

After a quick, light lunch, Carole went to bed. 

\---

By Tuesday night, Carole seemed pretty well caught up on her sleep and was not so jet lagged. After dinner, Blaine hugged Carole goodbye and Kurt walked him to the door. 

Kurt was biting his lip, looking a little anxious. 

"Hey, I won't be that far away. And I'll come by for some visits. I know Carole is here for a month, but it's going to go fast. Spend as much time with her as you can, Kurt." Blaine said softly. 

It was hard thinking of being away for the next few weeks, even if he visited occasionally. 

Blaine stepped forward, giving Kurt a quick hug. "Text me, OK?" He whispered it fast, not wanting his emotions to make his voice wobble. 

Kurt nodded, and watched as Blaine slipped out the door.

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

"Would you send him a message already? Ask him out to a movie or something? All this moping around the place is bringing me down." Sam nudged Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine shook his head, feeling moody. “No, I don’t want to interfere with his time with Carole. She’s only here another week or so.”

The past three weeks had been busy. Blaine had a new client who wanted quick results, so he was working long days. But he still missed being around Kurt. Funny how he was back in his own place, with Sam around, but he still felt Kurt's absence. Still thought about things he wanted to tell him, jokes he wanted to share.

But Kurt hadn’t been in contact with him much. There had only been a few shorts texts, and when he replied, there hadn’t been much follow-up. Clearly Kurt wasn’t that interested in their friendship, in whatever they were to each other. And that, more than anything, zapped Blaine’s energy. 

When it all came down to it, who was he to Kurt? Maybe he was just the lesser of all evils. Given the choice between being around nurses or Blaine, Kurt had chosen Blaine. Blaine, who was a year younger and an admitted fan. Someone Kurt would have more control over, potentially. Someone who would let Kurt do what he wanted, be a benign presence. They had gotten friendly, maybe even sort of close. But he was the only one around the apartment. 

Now, Kurt was choosing to be with Carole. He didn’t need Blaine, so he wasn’t bothering with him. 

Maybe it was harsh, but it was better that Blaine faced reality now than to keep fooling himself. Letting himself believe Kurt cared about him in any real way. And that night when Kurt had kissed him…was that just boredom and proximaty? It seemed like Kurt was going to apologize for it the next day, when the whole picture in the news thing happened and took all their attention. And then talking about being in the picture together, Kurt seemed a bit hurt by Blaine’s reaction. About not wanting to be labelled in the media in a way that would imply they were in a relationship.

It was probably best to have this time apart. Spending so much time together wasn’t a normal thing. Being the only man Kurt was around, his only company, probably wasn’t good. Was it creating an artificial closeness that wouldn’t last in the light of day? Is that what was happening now? Kurt not contacting him because out of sight, out of mind?

There was facing reality. And then there were Blaine’s feelings about it. He felt angry, frustrated. But also sad and missing Kurt. Feeling like a chump because he did. No wonder Sam wasn’t enjoying being around him.

\---

**Hey Blaine. How’s it going? – K**

Blaine looked down at the text, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see it. And called himself a fool for his reaction. 

**Pretty good. How are things with you and Carole? –B**

Sitting down on the bed, Blaine held his phone, waiting for a reply. 

**We’re having a great time. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? – K**

_Yes yes yes yes yes._ Blaine took a breath, and actually checked his calendar before responding. 

**Sure, that would be good. Around 6 pm? -B**

**See you then. – K**

\---

Carole opened the door to Blaine’s knock, giving him a big smile and a hug once he stepped into the apartment. “Great to see you again, Blaine. Don’t you look nice.” 

Blaine was glad the hallway was not brightly lit, so Carole wouldn’t notice his slight blush. He’d gone out at lunch and gotten his hair trimmed, and he’d taken a while picking out what to wear. He ended up with a deep red dress shirt and dark jeans. The shirt was untucked with the sleeves rolled up to make it a bit more casual.

“Thanks, so do you.” Blaine followed her to the kitchen, where some peppy 1950s music was playing. 

Kurt was dancing around to the beat, looking very comfortable cooking. He was wearing a white dress shirt with a skinny black tie, a teal cardigan and skinny black jeans. The tie was loosened and the top couple buttons of the shirt were undone. He looked young and vibrant and damn good. 

Walking over to the oven, Carole clicked on the light and peered in. “We’re making ham and scalloped potatoes.” 

Looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, Kurt flashed Blaine a smile. Putting down the knife, he walked over to Blaine, stopping directly in front of him. They looked at each other for a couple heartbeats, and then Blaine leaned forward to give him a quick hug.

“Hey Kurt. It’s good to see you.” Blaine said quickly, feeling a bit awkward. 

Kurt bowed his head, silently agreeing with Blaine’s statement, a small smile curling his lips. 

Blaine offered to help, but Kurt was almost done, so he just waved for him to sit down. Carole poured them some drinks and joined him at the kitchen table.

“So, what have you two been doing the past few weeks?” Blaine tore his gaze from Kurt to look over at Carole. She looked well rested and happy.

Carole took a sip of her drink. “Kurt and I have been having a great time. We’ve been going for long walks everyday, and I think he’s been getting stronger from it. Oh, to be young and bounce back like that. We’ve also shopped, eaten great food, been to some movies, and talked a lot. That’s probably why Kurt suggested having you over tonight. He’s getting sick of hanging out with me 24/7.”

Setting the salad on the table, Kurt sat down and picked up his tablet. “Oh, stop talking such bullshit. You know I love having you here and I’ve spent most of your visit trying to convince you to retire and move to New York.” 

Blaine liked watching their interplay. He could tell Carole was a positive, but grounding, spirit for Kurt. 

\---

After dinner, they went to the living room and played a little of the Frustration card game. It turned out to be a Hudson-Hummel favorite, and Blaine had to concentrate to stay competitive with the two experienced players. Carole and Kurt had a habit of calling each other awful names jokingly the whole time, making Blaine chuckle at the worst ones. 

Eventually, Carole went to bed and Blaine offered to go, but Kurt just shook his head, looking over the DVD collection and pulling out a few to show Blaine. It reminded him of the day he’d shown Kurt the books to pick one to read, and he nodded towards one of the movies with a small smile. 

As they settled on the sofa, it felt like all their other nights like this together. Relaxing, watching a movie, glancing at each other during funny parts. 

But as Blaine sat there, he couldn’t totally relax. He felt so aware of Kurt. Kurt, sitting so close, looking so good. He must have gotten another haircut recently, because it was trimmed well, and made his features look good. There was a little color in his face, showing that he had been outside a lot with Carole. Blaine had also noticed earlier that he seemed to be walking easier also, seeming stronger. The teal of the sweater looked good against the fairness of his skin, and brought out the blue in his eyes.

He thought he was being subtle with his glances, but Kurt caught him, his lips curling into a small smirk. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Kurt asked, but Blaine could tell by the curve of his lips and the teasing glint in his eyes that he knew. And he was flirting. Flirting with Blaine.

“Like what?” Blaine teased back, not bothering now to look away. And he liked seeing Kurt’s eyes widen slightly at his answer. 

Kurt looked down to type his answer on the tablet, but he kept peeking up at Blaine, his eyes definitely flirty. “Like I’m dessert.” 

Leaning closer, Blaine looked into Kurt’s blue-grey eyes, and let his gaze drift down to Kurt’s mouth. When he met Kurt’s eyes again, he could see the heat there. Matching how he was feeling. Looking down at Kurt’s lips again, Blaine whispered, “Because I really want to taste you.” 

He wasn’t sure if Kurt moved closer or he did, but suddenly they were kissing. And unlike the other time, these kisses were hard and deep, Kurt’s hand digging into Blaine’s hair to drag him down. 

\---

Blaine woke up in a large, beautiful bed and it took a second to figure out where he was. 

And the memories of last night came rushing back. Making out with Kurt on the sofa. Sharing hot kisses until they were both panting and so aroused. Kurt didn't need any words to show how much he wanted Blaine, and when he led him to his bedroom, Blaine had followed eagerly. 

The bedroom was bathed in moonlight, bright enough without any other light, as Blaine slowly stripped Kurt, taking his time. He was as beautiful as Blaine had imagined, and Blaine had worshipped every inch of his skin with his light touch and soft kisses. 

Kurt had undressed Blaine also, his large eyes showing his appreciation of Blaine's compact but muscular body, kissing over his skin until Blaine was a writhing mess of pure need, softly begging for more. 

Turning slowly on the bed, Blaine saw Kurt sleepily blinking, looking young but still a bit debauched, his hair a mess and his lips still a bit swollen from Blaine's kisses, his skin a little red from whisker burn. Scooting closer, Blaine stole a kiss and smiled when Kurt lunged forward to make it deeper. 

Their kisses blended into each other, exploring, still so new and exciting. 

Blaine pulled back regretfully. He sighed. "We better stop. Carole is probably up by now, and I don't want her hearing anything." 

Chuckling in his quiet way, Kurt reached to the bedside table for his tablet. "Well, I don't think it will be anything she didn't hear last night." His eyes were bright and teasing. 

Rolling onto his back, Blaine groaned. "Oh god. How will I ever be able to look her in the eye again?" 

Kurt poked him in the side. "I think it's the only time I've been thankful for not being able to make sound. At least anything she heard was all you." 

Blaine just shook his head. "Can I maybe sneak out of here? I know, you take her out to the balcony to show her something and I'll go." 

"No way! Then she'll think I was playing a loud porn video last night or something. It was bad enough trying to get her distracted at the drug store yesterday." Kurt blushed a bit, chuckling. 

Furrowing his brow, Blaine glanced over at Kurt. "Drug store?" 

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I had to stock up on a thing or two." He looked pointedly at the bedside table drawer. 

Realization dawned. Blaine had unpacked everything in this apartment a few months ago and there were no condoms or lube back then. He chuckled at the thought of Kurt buying them yesterday. "So, you were that certain of me? All it took is you inviting me to dinner and a couple kisses, to lure me back to your bed?" 

Typing fast, Kurt was smirking slightly. "It worked, didn't it?" 

Blaine huffed, dramatically sitting up and pulling on his clothes. "Fine. If that's what you think of me then..." 

He was across the room when Kurt, dressed now in only some boxer-briefs, dashed from the bed and pinned Blaine up against the door. His kisses were deep and hot, and Blaine was melting under them, quickly pushing back against Kurt, his hands on his back. 

A hard knocking on the door had them both jumping apart from each other. 

"Boys! Breakfast is ready." Carole's voice sing-songed clearly through the thick oak. 

Blaine laughed. Clearly Carole knew he'd stayed over. Time to face this like the thirty year old men they were. "Ok, we'll be there in a minute," he called back to her. 

He shrugged at Kurt and went into the en suite to freshen up, taming his curly hair with some water as best as he could. Kurt went in as he came out, and he went to the kitchen. 

Carole smiled at him knowingly as he padded barefoot over to the coffeemaker. "Help yourself. I made pancakes, bacon and fruit salad." 

Heaping a plate, Blaine was thankful for such a good meal. He'd been a little too nervous and dazzled by Kurt to eat much at dinner. He was starving. 

Sitting down, he took a long sip of coffee. What does one talk about with a stepmother the morning after? Apologize for the loud moaning last night? Comment that Kurt seems to have his energy back? 

Kurt walked in, dropping a kiss on Carole's cheek, before getting some food and joining them. 

"So, what do you boys have planned today?" Carole had a small smirk, obviously trying to keep from chuckling at them. 

Blaine shared a glance with Kurt. They hadn't talked about that. Was last night just a one off? Were they a thing now? From Kurt's kisses this morning, he seemed interested in continuing things. 

Clearing his throat, Blaine looked over at Carole. "Unfortunately, I have to get to work. My current client is in a rush to get things done, so I'm working nights and weekends a lot." 

"Oh, that's too bad. I fly out in a few days. Can I see you again before I go?" Carole reached over to put a hand on his arm. 

Looking questioningly at Kurt, Blaine wasn't sure how to answer. Did Kurt want him around? What was happening? 

Kurt picked up his tablet. "Maybe we could do lunch somewhere fancy." 

Lunch. Out. Was that to avoid what happened last night from occurring again? 

Blaine dropped his gaze, feeling a bit hurt and confused. He took a second to gather himself, before looking up and nodding. He glanced at Kurt and then Carole. "Um, sure. I think I can squeeze that in." 

Looking down at his half-eaten breakfast, he suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. He pushed his chair back. "Um, I think I better get going now, actually. Thanks for dinner last night, Carole, Kurt." 

He nodded at them and walked quickly down the hallway to the door, shoving his feet into his sneakers without socks, not wanting to take the time to go back to Kurt's bedroom to get them. He had to go. Now. 

He was stopped by a light hand on his arm, and looked up to find Kurt there. His eyes were big and searched Blaine's, full of questions and unsaid things. 

Sighing, Kurt lifted his tablet and typed. "Carole leaves Saturday. I hope you are still moving back here when she's gone?" 

Blaine let out a tightly held breath. Kurt wanted him back? To finish the last month of their original three month deal? Or for other reasons?

"Kurt, I can move back. But do you really need me here? You are so much stronger now." Blaine's eyes searched his, wanting to understand. 

Biting his lip, Kurt slowly nodded. 

Blaine nodded, running his hand through his hair. "Ok. Text me about lunch with Carole. I'll move back on Saturday night." 

Kurt's eyes seemed happier as he smiled, and gave Blaine a light kiss before he left. 

\--- 

\- Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

The apartment was dark, so Blaine turned on the lights as he went to his bedroom, setting his duffle bag down. 

Sighing, he walked around the empty apartment, wondering if he should really be back here. Kurt was obviously a lot stronger after the last month. Even now, he was taking Carole to the airport for her late night flight on his own. 

Blaine felt unsettled and moody. Going to the credenza in the living room, he pulled out a bottle of tequila and did two quick shots. It was a high-end brand, and it slid down his throat like liquid fire. Putting the bottle away, he went to the kitchen, putting the shot glass in the dishwasher and grabbing a couple beers from the fridge. 

On the balcony, he sat on the wicker lounge chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. Sipping on the first beer, he looked out on the quiet neighborhood. The alcohol was hitting his system, and he welcomed it. 

It was good to be done with the demanding client now, and having a few days off before he started with the next. He needed to unwind after working so much the past few weeks. 

The lunch with Carole had gone well. It had been a little awkward with Kurt, so often looking his way to catch Kurt already looking at him, and darting his eyes away. 

Carole had been bubbly and chatted lots about all the gifts and medical supplies she was taking back. 

"Did you hear what Kurt and I have planned?" She reached over to squeeze Blaine's hand. 

Blaine shook his head. He hadn't heard from Kurt much the last few weeks. 

"We are going to meet up for Christmas in Dubai. That way neither of us had to fly twenty hours. It's supposed to be an interesting city, and even Kurt, who has travelled everywhere, hasn't been there." She shared a warm glance with her stepson. 

"That sounds like a good plan." Blaine smiled at both of them, glad that they were going to stay in contact like that. He and Sam always went back to Chicago at Christmas, hanging out with family and old friends. 

Pushing her empty plate away, Carole took a sip of her wine, sighing contentedly. "Well, I must say this last month has been wonderful. Much better than my last time in New York."

Kurt gave her a puzzled look. "Last time?"

Her expression sobered, and she turned towards Kurt, putting her hand over his. "I came out after your accident, Kurt. As soon as I heard. And I went to the hospital every day to sit by your side." She smiled ruefully. "Yeah, didn't see much of New York on that trip." 

Blaine looked at Carole, knowing how heart breaking it must have been to see Kurt lying in a coma at that time, unsure if he'd ever wake up. Kurt looked a bit emotional at hearing that. 

At the end of the lunch, Carole had given Blaine a tight hug. She whispered in his ear, "He really likes you. Don't give up on him." 

Blaine's heart lurched at that, but he tempered her comment with what he knew about Carole. She was being a bit of a matchmaker, wanting her stepson settled into a relationship. Wanting him loved and cared for when she was so far away. He wouldn't be surprised if she whispered the same thing to Kurt.

As Blaine started on the second beer, he really wondered if he should be here. It would be fine if Kurt really needed him, but Blaine was thinking he was much stronger physically. Was it just emotional support then? To keep Kurt from being lonely? Hannah had worked her last shift before Carole had come. Maybe Kurt had a hard time living alone. 

It was dangerous for Blaine to be here. Dangerous for his heart. His emotions. Blaine knew he was very attracted to Kurt, but did Kurt really care about him? Sometimes he felt like he was convenient for Kurt. Here's somebody to hang out with, be friends with...maybe even sleep with. But when Blaine was out of sight, he was apparently out of Kurt's mind too. Had Kurt missed him at all these past few weeks, like Blaine had missed him?

\---

He woke to light, teasing kisses. Sweet kisses that were never quite hard enough, never quite long enough. And as he sleepily blinked his eyes, Kurt was grinning down at him. 

Kurt was warm and pliant in his lap, looking like a beautiful, magical creature in the moonlight. Bespelling Blaine. The alcohol was still making his thoughts fuzzy as he stroked lightly down Kurt's back, maybe to make sure he was real. 

Kurt's kisses deepened, hungry and demanding, and Blaine couldn't help but respond. Impatient hands tugged at his clothes, and he moaned as Kurt kissed and nipped down the skin of his neck. Sucking hard on his nipple, Blaine arched his back as Kurt's hands slid to fumble with the opening of his jeans. 

Already achingly hard, Blaine gasped as Kurt stroked him, watching him silently as he gave him pleasure. Looking satisfied when Blaine shuddered beneath him, before dipping down to kiss over the tip. Blaine's hands clutched his hair, too far gone to hold back. 

\---

"What are you doing?" Blaine's voice was scratchy as his hand stopped Kurt's from moving downwards from his chest.

Rolling onto his back, he looked over to Kurt. 

With a little smirk, Kurt grabbed his new phone. He'd upgraded to a smart phone that could handle his voice app, liking the smaller device. 

"You'd think after a couple nights with me, you'd know what I was doing." 

Blaine chuckled, running a hand over his face and stretching. He felt good. "I meant aren't you feeling tired?"

Thinking back on last night, he was shocked that Kurt was still interested, still wanting more. After the balcony, they had gone to the large glass-walled shower, taking their time soaping each other up. And then being in this big bed together. 

Kurt kissed his shoulder, giving Blaine a mischievous grin. "I haven't had sex for a year and a half. I have a lot of catching up to do."

"Ahhhh...now I see why you wanted me here. Just to be your sex slave." Blaine felt drawn to Kurt's playfulness.

Kurt's hand slid lower again and this time, Blaine didn't say anything. Just reacted to Kurt's touch, his kisses. Sinking into it. 

Only hunger finally pulled them from the bed, making a huge brunch and wolfing it down. They filled the whirlpool bath and relaxed in there. Then went back to bed to nap. Blaine was so happy he didn't have to be anywhere until Wednesday. It was just sex, sleeping and food, until the days blended together.

But the part he liked best was cuddling together and talking. Kurt was so relaxed and open, just being himself. 

"So, were you able to be with your Dad much before he passed?" Blaine idly played with Kurt's hair. 

Kurt nodded. "They sold the business and he had stepped down from congress." Kurt shrugged. "He was slowing down a lot. I think Carole just knew. She retired from work, and they bought an old convertible. They went on lots of drives, just seeing where the road would take them. Stopping for a picnic lunch by a lake or whatever caught their eye."

Kurt looked over at Blaine. "I had a six week break between jobs, and was out there the whole time. Carole let us just have lots of time alone together, just talking about everything."

Pulling Kurt back into his arms to spoon him, Blaine gave a little kiss to his neck. "He was a lucky man. He loved your mother, and then he had you and Carole. And he helped a lot of people during his political career."

Kurt nodded. "And he helped people at the shop too, often dropping the price for people who didn't have much money." He used to argue with his Dad over it when he was a teenager, complaining that he had too big of a heart to stay in business. But the shop always did OK.

\---

 

"What should we watch?" Blaine looked over the DVDs, and pulled out a couple he hadn't seen, holding them out to Kurt. 

Kurt made a face and shook his head. 

Blaine chuckled, putting the videos back. "Why do you have them if you don't even like them?"

"They were gifts from Adam." Kurt shrugged. 

Blaine looked over at Kurt in surprise. "Um...does it bug you to see stuff from him around here?" He knew things had ended badly between them. But how was Kurt feeling about it? About him? 

Kurt was quiet, looking down at his tablet, but not moving to type anything. He looked up at Blaine, his eyes dark and troubled. 

Pulling him into a hug, Blaine stroked his back. "It's OK, you know. You two were together for a few years and you had a lot of good times together. Those feelings don't just all disappear." 

Kurt pulled back a little to type. He sighed. "We were both awful to each other in the end. I know it's over, should have probably ended six months before the accident."

"Do you want to visit him? See him face to face to talk? Get some closure?" Blaine was wondering if Kurt maybe wasn't that over Adam, even after all this time. It was only four months since he'd woken up and he was probably still working through it. 

Shaking his head, Kurt pulled away, sitting up straight on the sofa. "No, we've had enough webcam chats online to clear the air between us. I guess I'm at the point of accepting it and wanting to move on."

Blaine felt relieved to hear that, but didn't hug Kurt again. He sensed that he needed a bit of space. "Well, if there's anything I can do to help you with that, just let me know."

Kurt nodded, getting up and walking around the living room. He pulled out the DVDs, and put them on the floor. He looked through the rest, and several others joined them. "Do we have any boxes?" He looked over at Blaine, a small determined smile on his face. 

Blaine jumped up, smiling, and went to the front storage closet. By the time he came back with a couple boxes, Kurt had the music cranked up high and was digging through the bookcase, dropping books haphazardly on the floor.

Not wanting to stop Kurt's flow, he simply started putting the items in the boxes neatly. 

Kurt went from room to room, looking everything over thoroughly. His eyes would land on something, and he would move it to the floor for Blaine to pick up. Even a few fancy serving dishes and articles of clothing were treated this way. 

By the time Kurt wound down and was resting on the sofa with a drink, Blaine had filled both boxes. 

He turned down the music. "Kurt, do you want to store this stuff away or donate it to charity?" 

Kurt looked at it for a minute. "Would you label it all 'Adam' and put it in storage?" 

Blaine nodded, and carried everything out of sight. It would have been better if Kurt had been able to get rid of it all, maybe just keeping a special item or two. But at least he was taking steps to distance himself from Adam. 

\---

Blaine looked over at Kurt as he took off his coat and handed it to the coat check girl. He was wearing a well-tailored navy suit, the lines following his body lovingly. 

"Quit looking at me like that. It was your bright idea to leave our comfy bed and come out tonight." Kurt texted fast and held the phone up for Blaine to listen. 

Blaine chuckled, grabbing Kurt's hand to tug him to their seats. He had been sleeping in Kurt's bed since he moved back, and this was the first time they'd gone out together since the zoo. 

Sitting down, they both looked around. It was the theatre Blaine had first seen Kurt perform, and they both had memories coming back to them. 

"Are you doing OK?" Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. Kurt hadn't been to a musical since before the accident. 

Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, trying to relax. 

Soon, the lights dimmed and they were carried off to a different world.

\---

"Kurt?" A man said near to where they were picking up their coats from the coat check. 

Turning, Kurt looked over and then his face broke into a smile and he was hugging the tall man. He had olive skin and shoulder-length straight dark hair, his facial features sharp. Striking more than handsome. Blaine recognized him as Nate Robinson.

Pulling back, they turned to face Blaine and he held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Blaine." 

"Nate." His eyes were very dark, but crinkled warmly as he smiled in greeting. 

Seeing the happiness on Kurt's face, Blaine turned back to Nate. "Would you like to come back with us for some coffee? Kurt would feel more comfortable that way." 

And he knew he'd done the right thing when Nate accepted and Kurt beamed at him.

\---

Back in the apartment, Kurt didn't hesitate to use his device to chat with Nate. Like with Sam and Carole, after the initial curiosity, Nate quickly adjusted to Kurt's communication style. 

Making coffee and pulling out the cheesecake Kurt had made recently, Blaine carried a tray into the living room. He settled into a big, plush chair, looking over at Nate and Kurt involved in a deep discussion. 

"But the lighting choice at the end of the second act was jarring. It didn't work for me." Kurt was shaking his head, reaching over for a slice of dessert. 

Nate put three scoops of sugar into his black coffee. "Surely you could see that by lighting her like that, alone in the spotlight, highlighted her distance from everyone? Her isolation?"

Kurt nodded, considering, before typing again. "I think it would have been more effective to ease into it. Not such an abrupt change."

Blaine followed along, finding it interesting to see how the theatre professionals viewed a performance. He'd only ever appreciated it from an audience member view, not as one creating the art. 

Nate was passionate about his craft, his hand gestures expressive. Kurt listened closely, his large eyes following the motions. When he replied, his expressions carried so much meaning, quieter and more subtly than Nate's broader gestures. But they were both respectful of each other's views. 

Nate tucked his long hair behind his ears, and took a long sip of the coffee. "Kurt, you must come down to my theatre. My production is in the last couple months of rehearsals and I'm just not getting it where it needs to be. I need an outsider's eyes to tell me what to change."

Kurt's expression was a mix of things. Pleased at the request, curiosity about Nate's new work, and professional pride. But it was at war with a flash of fear, followed by regret. "It sounds interesting, but it's a bit much for me, Nate. Maybe you could record it and send me a video?"

Rolling his eyes, Nate clasped his big hands on Kurt's shoulders. "It's theatre, Kurt. You must be there to truly feel the energy. Come, I will make you comfortable there. Just try it for a day."

His cajoling was softening Kurt's resistance, and he smiled broadly when Kurt gave a small nod. Getting up, he bowed to Kurt and Blaine. "Very good. I'll send a driver for you tomorrow at ten." 

Once Nate had left, Kurt joined Blaine on the sofa. 

"He is such a vibrant presence. I can see why you liked working with him." Blaine had liked the tall man, finding him to be very genuine and warm.

Kurt looked bemused. "I can't believe he got me to agree to come to a rehearsal. It was bad enough going to a performance tonight. There, I'll be sure to run into so many people I know."

Taking Kurt's hand, Blaine stroked over it. "Well, you are going to have to figure out the easiest way to tell people you are using the device. You can see everyone adjusts to it quickly. Don't let fear prevent you from going out and doing what you want to do."

Kurt leaned against Blaine. "Would you come with me tomorrow?"

Cupping Kurt's face, Blaine leaned down to give him a kiss. "No."

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "No?" He looked a little hurt. 

Blaine shrugged. "You can do this, Kurt. Every time I've been there for your support, you really haven't needed me. It's time to try this on your own." It was hard to decline Kurt's request, but Blaine was only going to be around for a few more weeks. "He's sending a driver and you know the theatre well. You'll be fine."

Hugging Kurt to him, Blaine burrowed his face into his neck. 

\---

Kurt came home as Blaine was pulling chicken out of the oven. "Good timing!" Blaine smiled at him as he dished out the food. 

Looking a little tired, Kurt dropped down on a chair and gave Blaine a smile. "It was so great, Blaine. It's a production set in Cold War communist Russia, and Nate has captured the oppressive feel so well, it sent shivers along my spine." His eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm.

"So, you didn't get too tired, or feel overwhelmed?" Blaine was surprised Kurt was there so long. 

Shaking his head, Kurt took a bite of rice. "No, not really. He introduced me to the company, explained about my voice app, and they were all very supportive. Then I sat with Nate in the audience chairs to watch the rehearsal, discussing it all with him."

Blaine felt pleased that Kurt had managed it well. Another step for Kurt towards his new life, being more independent. "I bet he liked your input."

Kurt did his version of a chuckle. "It was funny. We were talking so much, and then Nate started looking around for some paper. He said he wanted to write down what I was saying because I had so many good ideas. And I just texted him the comments about the show."

"Oh right! Because you already typed it all." Blaine laughed. "Do you keep old conversations?"

Kurt shrugged. "Not usually. It's only my side of it anyways, not interesting."

"I always find your conversations interesting." Blaine said softly, giving Kurt a warm look. 

They had been very close lately, sleeping in the same bed, waking up together. Often they went on long walks or cuddled to watch a movie.

Kurt returned the look, his gaze falling to Blaine's lips before going back to his warm hazel eyes. "If you keep looking at me like that, you'll distract me from doing the dishes." 

"Dishes can wait." Blaine liked Kurt like this, flirty, teasing. He looked happy, and Blaine felt he might be a part of why.

"Hmmm...I don't know, Blaine. That pan with the chicken looks pretty bad." Kurt smirked. 

Huffing, Blaine grabbed all the dishes and put them in the sink. He filled it with hot water and a dash of soap. "There. They can soak." He turned to Kurt with an arched eyebrow.

Kurt stood slowly, and glanced over his shoulder back at Blaine as he walked towards his bedroom. But the minute Blaine started following him, Kurt jumped and ran down the hall. He grabbed the door, playfully trying to close it as Blaine pushed against it. Jumping out of his grasp, he was only able to take a few steps before Blaine tackled him onto the bed, chuckling. 

Kurt's kisses were hot and hard, easily matching Blaine's intensity. Their clothes came off fast. 

"I can't get enough of you, Kurt. One little look from you and I'm like this." He moved Kurt's hand to his briefs, groaning as Kurt traced over his hardness, before he pulled the material down.

Kurt's eyes gleamed as they travelled over Blaine, taking in his muscular chest and arms, his flat stomach, his powerful legs. His pale hand contrasted vividly as he stroked down Blaine's olive skin, playing with the dusting of dark chest hair. His head dipped down to capture Blaine's lips, kisses that teased, until Blaine lifted his head to chase after them. 

"Baby, I want you so much." Blaine moaned at Kurt's light kisses down his chest. They started a slow pace, meeting each other's gaze, feeling it build in intensity. He felt so close to Kurt in these moments, like they were open to each other, looking deep inside, nothing held back. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine rubbed his eyes and glanced at the wall clock. Who would be knocking on the door at 9pm?

Staggering down the hall, Blaine looked through the peephole. _Shit. Sam._

Running his hands through his hair to try to tame it, Blaine looked down and saw there was a stain on his shirt. _Fuck._

Knowing it was useless to delay things, he reluctantly opened the door. 

Sam looked him over thoroughly, from his long unkempt hair, his stained tee, his tired eyes, and he nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He stepped in, closing the door behind him. 

"Hey, Sam. Nice of you to stop by. Can I get you a drink?" Blaine tried to see if acting like a normal host to Sam would shake the displeased expression off his face. 

Sam scoffed and walked into the kitchen. He started making coffee. "I think you've had enough drinks already. We're going to have some coffee and hopefully sober you up enough to talk. Now go change your shirt."

Just having Sam talking sharply like that to him was making him more alert, pulling him out of his fuzzy haze. Nodding, he went to the washroom and splashed water on his face, brushed his hair and changed his shirt. 

Sam was carrying a tray of coffee and heading towards the living room. Blaine's heart sank. He rushed forward, grabbing the empty beer bottles to clear space on the coffee table. 

Setting the tray down, Sam just shook his head at Blaine and helped him clear up the mess of bottles and empty glasses. He raised an eyebrow at the empty bottle of tequila. They carried everything to the kitchen and put them in the recycling bin and dishwasher. 

"Does Kurt know it's like this?" Sam poured out the coffee and settled back on the sofa. 

Blaine followed his actions. Shaking his head, he glanced quickly at Sam. "Not really. I clean up, usually. He's been getting in late, after I'm in bed. I get up before he does in the mornings." He shrugged. "One time I left stuff out, and told him you'd been over."

"So you are drinking alone, hiding it from others, lying to people about it..." Sam pinned him with a direct look. "What's going on, Blaine? I haven't seen you like this for years."

Blaine looked down at his coffee cup, knowing Sam was right to question this. "I don't know."

Sam put an arm around Blaine's shoulders, giving him a squeeze. "Well, your business is going well, so I'm guessing it's about Kurt. You said you hardly see him because he's working late?"

Sighing, Blaine took a sip of coffee. "They’re getting ready for opening night in about a month. Nate gave Kurt the Associate Director position so he's even more committed to making it work."

"But you hardly see him then." Sam nodded. 

Blaine shrugged. "I'm happy he's working again and doing so well at it. I can see this being his new career, so I'm not going to stand in his way."

Sam sipped his coffee, looking at his friend. "Why did Kurt ask you to move in here, again?"

"He was still a little weak, and the nurse didn't want him alone in case he needed help or was overdoing things. Maybe just for emotional support too." Blaine looked back at Sam. 

"Wouldn't you say those reasons valid anymore? He's obviously come a long way in three months." Sam crossed his legs on the sofa. 

Blaine poured himself another cup of coffee, stalling for time as he searched for the answer. He sighed, "Ok, you're right." Kurt was stronger physically. He's rekindled old relationships He is back working. "But we are kind of involved now..."

Sam looked over Blaine's troubled expression. "Obviously, you aren't totally happy with how things are and you aren't facing up to it. You know you drink when things are like that. What aren't you facing up to?" 

Blaine thought back to the last time Sam had had a talk like this with him. It was almost five years ago, when Blaine was crashing on Sam's sofa as he passed through New York. He was on tour with a band, and they were taking a few days off before hitting the road again. 

Sam had come home too many nights to find Blaine surrounded by empty beer bottles. They had talked long, way into the night, and Blaine finally had to admit to himself that he needed a career change. The instability around being a musician, working job to job, travelling so much, had been OK when Blaine started out. But after so many years, he was burnt out. It just didn't fit him anymore. 

Blaine had finished the tour and moved back to New York, working music jobs in the city when he got them and other jobs as they came up. He had to face up that it was time for a career change. 

"Kurt is amazing, but I don't know how he feels about me. Mostly I'm just a convenience, I think. A friend and company when he's home. And lately, a bit of a fling." Blaine shrugged, feeling sad. 

Sam wrapped his arms around Blaine. "Kurt is a great guy, and I know you really care about him. But you know this whole situation isn't healthy for you. You wouldn't be sitting around an empty apartment drinking if it was. You deserve better than being Kurt's boyfriend, or whatever you call it, out of some sort of default. Time to come home, Blaine."

Blaine burrowed into Sam's arms, glad that he had such a good friend that really understood him and cared enough to make him talk it out. 

"What am I going to tell Kurt?" Blaine mumbled against Sam's shoulder. 

Pulling back, Sam got off the sofa. "You are going to have to figure that out. I'd recommend the truth. Now, come on. Let's pack up your stuff. I'll take it home and you can stay to talk to Kurt. It will save you coming back later, when it's more awkward, to get your shit."

Blaine nodded, thoughts whirling in his head, as he followed Sam to his bedroom. 

\---

He was idly watching TV when Kurt got home. The booze had worn off, leaving him feeling tired, but the coffee was keeping him awake. Not a good combination. 

Kurt looked tired, but there was an energy around him still. Blaine had come to label it 'theatre'. Kurt was energized by working in that environment, with so many highly trained singers, dancers and crew. It was obviously where he belonged. 

Sinking onto the sofa, Kurt draped his arms around Blaine and gave him a hug. "You are still up. Good." 

Blaine swallowed nervously. "Kurt, we need to talk." He got it out fast, needing to start this conversation before he lost his nerve or got distracted by Kurt. 

Kurt stilled, pulling back and looking closely at Blaine. 

Taking a deep breath, Blaine let it out slowly, trying to calm down. "Um... The three months are up and I think it's time that I move home."

Kurt's eyebrows rose, and Blaine saw a flash of hurt in his eyes before they dropped to his phone to type. "Blaine, no. I want you to stay." He reached over, taking Blaine's hand in his. 

Shaking his head, Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand lightly before pulling back. "You wanted me to help you out, until you were strong enough. And now you are hardly even here. I think it's a sure sign you're ready to be on your own, Kurt."

Getting up from the sofa, Blaine tried to keep his emotions under control. "I hope we can stay in touch, stay friends, Kurt." There were a thousand more things he wanted to say, but he was seconds away from losing it. Kurt was just blinking up at him, frozen in place, his big eyes troubled. 

Turning quickly, Blaine walked down the hall, thankful that Sam had already taken his duffle bag of clothes. This was hard enough already, and he just wanted to go. Get back and crash in his own bed.

But then Kurt was just there, right in his face, pushing Blaine against the wall. His body was pushed fully against Blaine's, pinning him as his lips found Blaine's. The kisses were hot, deep and hard, and Blaine couldn't help but react, powerless against such heat. His arms went around Kurt, holding him close, his heart thumping hard in his chest. He should stop this, should go, but he just couldn't. 

Kurt pulled back, looking down at Blaine's face, seeing his kiss-swollen lips and the heat in his eyes. Smiling, he took Blaine's hand and led him back to his bedroom. Moonlight washed over Blaine as Kurt slowly stripped him, his eyes admiring as his hands explored his bared skin. 

Kurt pushed Blaine down on the bed and slowly undressed, his motions as graceful as a dance. Blaine soaked it all in, how beautiful Kurt looked in that cool light, before joining him on the bed. His skin was warm and delicious. 

\---

Waking up early, Blaine rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Last night had been incredible, but it was still time to go. Time to go back to his life. 

After a quick trip to the bathroom, Blaine dressed and looked over Kurt's sleeping form under the covers. He had first seen him in this apartment, in the coma. And now he was seeing him for possibly the last time in this apartment, asleep after their night together. 

Brushing a tear away from his eye, Blaine leaned over lightly kissed Kurt's cheek. "Goodbye, Kurt."

And as Blaine left Kurt's apartment, Kurt's life, ready to get back to his own, Blaine let out a sigh of relief. It was hard. It was sad. But it was right. 

\---  
-Disclaimer: I own nothing


	10. Chapter 10

Stepping out of the taxi, Blaine tugged his suit into place. _What the hell was he doing here?_

Sam grinned down at Blaine, looking good in a light grey suit. "You look fine, man. Don't sweat it."

Nodding back and smiling, Blaine stood up straighter. _It was going to be OK. He could do this._

Blaine was dressed in a well-cut black suit, and felt pretty good. The crowd was dressed fancier, but they didn't look out of place. Walking the red carpet, the media took no notice of them, but they saw many familiar faces of Broadway. 

After a couple drinks in the lobby, they found their seats and waited for the show to begin. Blaine had been surprised when he got the tickets to opening night of Nate and Kurt’s show, but was pleased. Bringing Sam along was a no brainer. He knew Kurt and would keep Blaine from getting too nervous. 

The past month had been hard. Working lots and hanging out with Sam had been a big help. But so often, Blaine thought about Kurt, missed Kurt. Kurt was busy with getting the show ready and hadn't made any contact with Blaine. Maybe it was better that way. It would be hard going back to being friends when they had been lovers. Getting the tickets had been confusing. Was it a sign that Kurt wanted to be friends now? A friendly gesture only? Blaine had to come and see. And partially felt like a chump for it. 

\---

"Blaine!" A woman gushed, her arms going tight around him for a few seconds. 

It took a second for recognition to set in. "Hannah! Oh, it's been awhile and you look amazing." The nurse was in a turquoise dress that brought out her dark eyes and hair. 

"I'm here with Deanna, but I think she's at the buffet table." Hannah craned her neck, trying to search through the dense crowd to find the short Filipino woman. 

Blaine smiled, happy to see his old friend again. "I think Sam is over there too." In a way, the fact that Kurt had invited them put more weight to Blaine's feeling that this invite to the opening was just a friendly gesture. 

Hannah looked over at the tall blond man, nodding. She had met Sam a few times in passing at the apartment. "Isn't it great to see Kurt back on top like this? Barely six months out of his coma?"

"Have you seen Kurt tonight?" Blaine couldn't resist asking. He had been watching the crowds, and thought he caught a glimpse, before Kurt was quickly surrounded again. There was a definite buzz to the crowd, an energy, and Blaine could feel that the musical would be a hit. 

Hannah shook her head. "Well, I'm going to find the ladies room. Let's get together for lunch soon, OK?"

Blaine nodded as Hannah disappeared into the crowd. He didn't know many people here, and they were going to leave the after party soon. 

A tall man clasped Blaine's shoulder. "Blaine! How are you tonight, my friend?"

Blaine laughed as Nate Robinson enveloped him in a tight hug. "I'm fine, Nate. Congrats on the fantastic show." Nate's face was a bit flushed with happiness, and likely alcohol. Clearly he was enjoying the party. 

Sam joined them, holding a plate full of appetizers. "Nate, my friend Sam, who redid Kurt's voice app. Sam, Nate is Kurt's director." 

Nate took in Sam's wide, easy grin and hugged him hard. "Ahhhh, another kindred spirit, I can tell. Welcome, Sam. Drink, party, celebrate with us,"

Blaine grabbed his sleeve, as Nate was about to move on. "Do you know where Kurt is? We'd like to congratulate him before we go."

Nate scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Yes, he's right over there with that blond shithead." 

Looking through the crowd where Nate was pointing, Blaine did get a glimpse of Kurt. He was dressed in a deep grey suit, tailored perfectly to his fit body. His hair was that spiky style still, the angles bringing out his cheekbones and chin. But most striking of all was his expression. He was simply beaming, his smile large and effortless. Seeing him in this setting really made it hit home who Kurt Hummel really was. Even if he wasn't a singer anymore, he was famous in Broadway circles. He looked perfectly at home and happy there. And jaw-droppingly gorgeous. 

Following Kurt's gaze, Blaine froze for a second. _Oh shit. Adam._ Adam, looking perfect in a tux, wearing it with ease. He was looking down at Kurt fondly, standing quite close. Too close. 

"That little asswipe showed up a week ago, when the play was starting to get some buzz, and suddenly he's around the theatre, and Kurt, 24/7." Nate clearly sounded disgusted. 

Blaine tore his eyes away from Kurt with Adam, looking back at Nate. "Why do you hate him so much, Nate?"

"I was there when they were first getting together, and I saw what he was like from the start. Kurt was too dazzled by him to hear me." Nate took another sip from his glass. 

"What is he like?" Blaine had his own opinions about Adam, but Nate really knew him. Knew Kurt. 

Nate's eyes met Blaine's. "He likes Kurt's fame. He's rich and successful, but he likes being around famous people. Likes that being with Kurt made them some celeb couple, invited everywhere. He doesn't get that on his own."

Sam tugged on Blaine's arm. "Let's go, Blaine. It looks like Kurt is pretty occupied. We'll send him congratulations by text."

Sighing, Blaine nodded and said his goodbyes to Nate. 

\---

It was a bit like looking at a car crash. Blaine couldn't help searching the Internet for news of Kurt and Adam. Reading the articles, looking at the pictures, watching videos from various entertainment gossip shows. There was a lot of speculation, but not a lot of hard facts about them.

It made a great story. The famous couple back together. Kurt looking happy and healthy, successful in his new job. Everything was right in the world again. Everything was puppy dogs and rainbows. 

But Blaine was looking closer at the picture of them together. Were they truly back dating? In love? Was Adam sleeping in Kurt's bed? The same bed Blaine had been in for a month? Blaine couldn't deny feeling hurt and a bit angry at the idea. Was he so replaceable?

It wasn't hard to find pictures of them, as they seemed to be at all the big parties. Blaine searched Kurt's expression. Was he tired from working at the theatre and going out so much? Was he happy? Was he in love? 

"You know, I saw that video clip of them too, and it bugged me." Sam settled down on the sofa beside Blaine, pointing towards the laptop with his spoon before scooping up some ice cream. 

Blaine turned towards his friend. "Bugged you? How?" 

Taking another big bite of the strawberry ice cream, Sam took a second. "Go to around 15 seconds in..."

Blaine clicked on the YouTube video, and watched Adam and Kurt interacting with a reporter. "OK, what...?"

"There! Right there!" Sam waved at the screen. "19 seconds."

Clicking back a few seconds, Blaine watched closer. The reporter asked them a question, and then Adam answered it. He looked over at Sam, shrugging in confusion. 

Sam put down the bowl and clicked on the video, freezing it on the spot. "Look what Adam's doing with his hand." He clicked a few times, back and forth, until Blaine groaned. 

"Fuck." Kurt was lifting his phone to answer the reporter, but Adam put his hand on his arm and answered the reporter's questions. "Has Kurt used his voice app in any clips you've seen?"

Sam shook his head, returning to eating his dessert. 

Blaine watched as many clips as he could, and Adam talked the whole time. Kurt stood beside him, smiling usually. 

Who was Kurt when he was with Adam? Had they agreed to handle the press this way? 

Maybe it was just Blaine missing Kurt, being jealous. Maybe it was Nate's comments about Adam. But as Blaine shut his laptop finally, he felt like Kurt was headed down a very dangerous path. 

 

\---

A week later, Blaine had had enough. He'd watched more videos, and wanted to talk to Kurt, face to face. Just as a friend.

He'd say how it seemed strange that Adam discouraged him from using the voice app on camera. That he wasn't giving Kurt a chance to talk about his own show, take the credit and praise for his own work. Wasn't encouraging him to use the app openly in public, to make it more acceptable for others with similar problems. Blaine just wanted to make sure that Kurt was truly being himself. 

And he wanted to see Kurt. It had been so long. No contact. Were they not even friends anymore? Blaine had to know. 

After writing and rewriting it about ten times, Blaine finally sent his message. 

**Kurt,**  
**How are you doing?**  
**Can we go for coffee sometime and catch up? I know you are busy with the show (which is great, btw) and everything, but I miss you and would like to see you.**  
**Blaine**

Blaine felt relieved he'd sent it. He cared about Kurt too much to just things between them fade away without this one final attempt. 

\---

The response came a couple hours later. 

**Blaine,**  
**I'm sorry Blaine, but Adam & I are trying to give it another go. We are keeping it out of the press for now. Would you respect this and stop contacting me?**  
**Kurt**

\---

Blaine was hurt and confused by the message. What did he mean by keeping it out of the press, when they were being photographed at events together constantly? 

Maybe he meant that they were serious about each other. That was confusing too. Adam is away for months, when Kurt needs him the most, and just reappears and Kurt is ready to take him back? Were they really back together that quickly? Maybe it was better to look like they were just dating to the press, in case a more serious relationship didn't work out. 

And no contact with Blaine? Was that because Kurt had feelings for him maybe, and didn't want to get confused if he was choosing Adam? Or was Adam jealous of Kurt being friends with other men?

In the end, it was clear Kurt didn't want Blaine around. It hurt, but Blaine needed to accept it and move on. 

\---  
-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

\---

"...accident, but you are doing OK now." A female voice seemed to float in and out, like someone was turning a volume dial up and down on a radio. Kurt furrowed his brows, trying to listen. To concentrate.

But it took too much energy, and he faded away again. 

\---  
The man’s voice seemed warm and welcoming, as the words flowed over Kurt.  
“ _From the moment Cher Horowitz stepped onto the big screen in a natty black blazer and argyle mini, Clueless had us totally buggin’. Back then, grunge was still in its heyday—Marc Jacobs had released his Perry Ellis collection just three years prior—and though flannel and Dr. Martens looked rock-star cool on Kate Moss and Kurt Cobain, some things got, shall we say, lost in translation…._ ”  
\---

A woman singing along to a song on the radio as she ran a warm, wet cloth over his skin...

_But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?_  
_Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day_  
_And head back to the Milky Way?_  
_And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?_  
_Was it everything you wanted to find?_  
_And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?_

\----  
_....bright, bright light..._

"Oh, I'm sorry, that sunbeam is hitting you right in the face." A female voice nearby commented. 

There was a rustle of noises, and then the bright light eased. 

His hand was grasped. "Kurt, Kurt...I saw you respond to that light. Hear my voice, Kurt. It's Hannah. You can open your eyes. It's safe. Wake up. I'm here." The voice was familiar somehow, but not. But it was warm, and urging. 

Kurt tried to press forward, out of the dream state, but he was pulled back down, back under. 

\---

His eyelids were so, so heavy, but he finally opened them. Just the tiniest amount. And there was almost an explosion of light, his whole field of vision seemed impossibly bright. Too much. Closing his eyelids again, Kurt tried to sink again. 

But there was an urging internal voice. Urging to try again. Open his eyelids again. Just one more time. And this time it wasn’t as bright. He blinked slowly, trying to focus, trying to find a familiar shape in the shadowy space. 

There was a gasp nearby, and then a whispered “Kurt? Oh my god…” 

\---

“This won’t take long, Kurt. Just going to check your reflexes, your responsiveness.” The doctor’s hands were skillfully moving over his body, assessing. 

Intelligent brown eyes peered into Kurt’s, and then a bright light flicked. The doctor was using a hand-held instrument to look into Kurt’s eyes. 

“Open your mouth, and say ‘Ahhh…’” The doctor pressed the wooden depressor on Kurt’s tongue, shining her light into his mouth. 

Pulling back, her eyes looked into Kurt’s. “Can you try that again, please?” 

\---

The nurse chuckled as she hung the bag on the IV pole. “I see that expression, Kurt. I know it seems strange, but you are getting all the nutrition you need this way. But I’ll bring you some broth later to sip, get you used to taking food the normal way.” 

Kurt arched an eyebrow as the nurse lifted his shirt and connected the tube coming from the bag on the IV pole to a port on his stomach. Watching her efficiently working, Kurt wished he could ask her so many questions. But ever since his medical, Kurt had tried and tried to make noises on his own, and no sound had come out besides different types of exhaling.

\---

“That’s it. Small, small steps. Don’t be afraid to lean heavily on me, Kurt. I can take your weight.” Hannah’s voice was encouraging. Her body felt warm and sturdy pressed against his side, and her arm around his waist. 

Concentrating hard, Kurt shifted his weight to shuffle his other foot forward a few inches. It had taken at least ten minutes, and they were just now stepping outside of the small bedroom. 

Kurt stopped, looking around the hallway with intense curiosity.

“Are you tired? Want to go back to bed?” Hannah asked, her eyes assessing her patient. 

Shaking his head, Kurt continued to look around. He had figured he wasn’t in a hospital room, even though he was in a hospital-style bed, but didn’t recognize the room. He didn’t recognize the hallway either, but he did see a painting he knew well. 

As Hannah urged him along the hallway slowly, Kurt looked for other familiar things and found many. His things were everywhere. 

Things from the house were here, in this place now. And Adam wasn’t around. The doctor and nurses had told him what they could, but they didn’t know the full story. And Kurt couldn’t ask questions. But he was starting to piece it all together now in his head.

\---

Lightly napping, Kurt didn’t stir when there was a light knock on the door and he heard it opening. There were frequent health care staff coming and going from the room. But the footfalls sounded different than the almost silent ones of the rubber-soled nurses, and he turned to look who had entered. 

It was a young man with short dark curly hair. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black hoodie, looking very out of place from the scrubs the health care staff usually wore. And his expression looked a bit uncomfortable. Kurt was intrigued.

"Um, Hi. I'm Blaine and I was working in your apartment when you first moved here. Hannah, the nurse, thought I could come by and read to you again." The young man stepped closer, looking down at Kurt, his large hazel eyes so sincere and his triangle shaped brows pulling down a little. 

Kurt had an odd feeling of knowing this man, of some type of familiarity with him, although he would have surely remembered that earnest face if he’d seen it before. Giving him a small nod, he felt a bit curious and bemused as he watched Blaine pulling a chair closer and picking up the magazine Hannah had left.

Blaine seemed a little awkward, fumbling with the magazine before flipping through the many pages of ads before getting to the first article. When he started to read, he was a bit rushed and screwed up some words, so Kurt had a hard time even following what he was reading. 

But after a couple minutes, Blaine settled into his reading. _“…Why a shoot about llamas and pajamas? Here is how it began. Llamas are chic creatures, one of us noted recently, with an imposing silhouette, shaggy fur accents, and a self-possessed comportment. The specter of Valentine’s Day, meanwhile, had us considering all manner of warm, wintry gifts to give our most cuddly and embraceable loved ones. Irresistible blankets, woolly knits, cozy fleece—and pajamas. Llamas and pajamas….”_

Kurt blinked at Blaine as continued on, again feeling the loss of his voice. He would have stopped Blaine, asked him what the hell he was reading, or at least laughed. But instead, he had to sit back as his reader continued talking about a photo shoot with llamas. He would have surely disrupted his reading with laughter at the line _“Llama spit spouts voluminously from their mouths like a sprinkler…”_

Blaine read on, oblivious to Kurt’s reaction to the story. He was on a different article when he looked up to check on Kurt, and seemed to lose his place. Kurt felt bemused again as he watched Blaine trying to read on smoothly. 

Stopping to take a drink of water, Kurt watched as Blaine opened the water bottle and tipped his head back. He had nice, strong hands, and his skin was a warm, olive colour. He just seemed so normal. A regular person. Not a health care worker. Not a theatre person. Who was Blaine and why was he here? 

Seeing Kurt’s gaze, Blaine put down the water bottle. “Are you thirsty too?” At Kurt’s nod, Blaine stood and moved to the bedside table, and soon had a straw at Kurt’s lips. 

Back to reading, Kurt listened and watched Blaine. Watched as his mouth formed each word, full lips, flashes of white teeth. His eyes crinkling in amusement occasionally at the articles or the pictures.

And Kurt could only smile and nod when Blaine finished reading the magazine, and asked, “"OK, I will go now. Would it be OK if I come back in a day or two?"

_So, so OK…._

\---  
-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-A/N: Time Jump Back! And into Kurt’s POV! (OK, I’ll admit to watching a few too many Tarantino movies & now I love to play around with story structure) 

-The excerpts are from real Vogue articles. Copy & paste the following links because I’m not tech-savvy enough to set up the links.  
“The Clueless Effect: How One ‘90s Cult Movie Made a Lasting Impact on Fashion.”  
http://www.vogue.com/13273530/clueless-cult-movie-fashion-impact/  
“Llamas, Pajamas, Male Models: What More Do You Need for a Snow Day?”  
http://www.vogue.com/10453795/llamas-pajamas-photo-shoot-male-model-garrett-neff/

-Song lyrics are from "Drops of Jupiter" by Train.


	12. Chapter 12

Kurt gave Hannah a curious look as she sat down on the other wicker chair, a small grin on her face. She was up to something. 

Arching an eyebrow, Kurt pinned her with a questioning look. He was getting pretty good at amping up his expressions to get his message across. So much so that he was feeling like a cross between someone playing an endless game of Charades and an actor from a silent film. _All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up._

The wattage of her smile went up as she opened her purse and pulled out a mini iPad. She passed it to Kurt and he carefully took it. 

It was still strange how his body didn't always do what he wanted, lacking strength and coordination for simple things at times. The physiotherapist told him he had to rewire his neural pathways that had atrophied during the coma, just like his muscles had. But it was getting better, easier, to do things every day.

"I thought we'd give this a go, Kurt. You had difficulty writing with pen and paper. But texting may come easier." Hannah's warm eyes held Kurt's before she reached over to tap the screen to the notes. Holding her finger over a pre-typed message, she picked 'Select All' and then 'Speak' from the options that appeared. 

"Arugula, deli ham, feta cheese, shampoo, toilet paper, pens." A robotic sounding voice intoned from the device. 

Kurt gave her a questioning glance.

Chuckling, Hannah took the iPad back. "Well, that's just my shopping list, for an example." She clicked on the tablet a few minutes, and held it back towards Kurt.

"What would you like to do today?" The voice on the tablet was now a British female one.

Kurt's eyebrows rose, and Hannah put the tablet in his lap. "Here. You play around with it, see if you like it. Feel free to go into settings and set the voice to whatever you like. I'm going to make us some breakfast."

And as she boiled eggs and buttered toast, she could hear that same sentence being read aloud in different accents.

\---

"Hi Blaine. It's nice to actually be able to talk with you finally." Kurt smiled as the device spoke in an American male voice.

Blaine's grin widened, and Kurt could see the genuine delight on his face. After spending so many sessions watching Blaine as he read aloud, Kurt knew his expressions well. "Nice to talk to you too, Kurt. So why do I get a different accent than Hannah?"

Kurt looked down to type his answer. He was getting better, but he still hit the wrong keys at times. Autocorrect had made some amusing errors, so Kurt had learned to type slow and proofread before hitting 'Speak'. "I use different accents for different people. Just something fun for me. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Blaine was shaking his head, just sipping some ice tea. 

"I'd like to get to know you better. Where did you grow up? How did you come to do this kind of work?" Kurt had typed up a list of general, getting to know you questions and had used them on all the different health care workers. Everyone had been surprisingly open in their answers. Deanna had told him about growing up in the Philippines and moving to the US for better opportunities, but Kurt could see how she missed her old country and her family. Hannah had told him about working in a busy emergency department, but got burnt out from seeing all the gun shot wounds. She had switched to nursing in private homes a few years ago.

But Kurt had been most curious about Blaine. He wasn't like the other people in the apartment, and Kurt was dying to know more about him. 

"Well, I grew up in Chicago and have a music degree. I moved to New York to pursue my career. Played in lots of bands, did lots of gigs. But I had to have a day job too so ended up working eventually for a company that installed closet organizers." Blaine seemed a little shy talking about himself, his eyes meeting Kurt's, but then darting away. 

Kurt loved Blaine's large, expressive eyes. The rich hazel changed with the colors he wore, and maybe his moods too. Today, on the sunny balcony, he seemed fairly relaxed and his eyes had more of a mossy green hue. Thick, dark eyelashes and his dark eyebrows framed and made his eyes even more attractive.

His words sunk in, and Kurt tried to picture Blaine as a musician. If he was part of a band, he likely played guitar or drums. Looking at his strong hands, Kurt tried to picture drumsticks there, but it didn't seem right. Picturing Blaine holding a guitar, singing softly, seemed to fit better. 

Motioning for Blaine to continue, Kurt took a sip from his cup. 

"People in New York have a lot of stuff and tiny apartments. I saw a need and started my own professional organization business. And I've been working steady for the last four years now." He shrugged, but Kurt could see the quiet pride behind his words. He'd started his own business and done well with it. That wasn't easy, and it was a bit transition from being a professional musician. 

Kurt's appreciation of this quiet, friendly man rose. Blaine had done a lot in his life. Kurt estimated him to be a similar age, and he'd already switched careers in a major way. Something Kurt knew he'd have to face doing soon too.

 _Organizer..._ Kurt glanced around the balcony and then back at Blaine. He typed as quickly as he could. "Did you organize this apartment then? All my stuff?"

It all came together when Blaine nodded. "Yes, I was hired to set up your apartment. Everything was in boxes and shoved into the living room. If you want anything changed, just let me know."

Oh, it made sense now. It was Adam's way of dealing with the messy end of their relationship. Kurt could all too easily picture Adam having his own things packed up and shipped back to England, and waving an imperious hand at the rest. Instructing his staff to deal with it. 

Blaine unpacked it all, and worked it to fit into this smaller space. Kurt had noticed that it was done with care and attention. The books arranged well on the bookshelves, with personal mementos and framed pictures tucked into some spaces. The furniture arranged to be inviting, like this large balcony. One end had a barbecue and a small table with four chairs. There was an empty space in the middle, and the end they were sitting at had a wicker lounge chair, two armchairs, and a table. Kurt had often enjoyed sitting out here, looking out over the Brooklyn neighborhood, getting familiar with the energy of his new home.

Blaine looked pleased when Kurt assured him that he liked how everything was set up. Then Kurt asked the question he'd been pondering the most about Blaine. "But, why are you still coming back here?" The apartment was fully done. 

Blaine seemed flustered by the question, and it took him a few minutes to answer. "It's hard to explain. I liked working here, getting to know the staff. I liked being able to help you, knowing your backstory and everything...."

 _Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ Kurt's fingers flew over the tablet. "So, it's pity for me, then?" An attractive man, his age, coming to help out the poor invalid. The sad, fallen Broadway star, now with no voice, no chance for a future in the industry. Regaling his friends with stories of the former celebrity who could hardly walk across a room without assistance. 

Blaine was shaking his head, holding out his hands in a placating manner. "No, no...not at all. I admired your work in the past, and respect you. I also like Hannah and she suggested reading to you. I enjoy doing it. I'd like to continue, if you'll let me." His large eyes were sincere, full of contrition.

Kurt typed again. "If it's not out of pity, then let me pay you." He tilted his chin up, watching Blaine closely. Too many times, people had been nice to Kurt, but really just wanted something from him. In the beginning, he'd taken their friendly overtures at face value, letting them get close, only to have a few weeks pass before a softly worded request came. A demo CD that Kurt could pass on to his agent or a producer. A plea to accompany him to a big party or event. A kiss in a shady corner, with over-eager hands. 

Kurt learned the hard way to not get involved romantically or sexually with a fan. They were enamored of the role, the persona Kurt projected, but not the hum drum reality of Kurt. _What was that old quote from Rita Hayworth? "Every man I have ever known has fallen in love with Gilda and awakened with me."_ There was nothing worse than seeing the excited spark of interest in someone's eyes dim as they got to know the real you. Found out you were just a regular person behind all the hype. Realized that you weren't that special.

Blaine sighed, biting his lip. "Maybe I'm overstepping here, but I'd like to continue coming, visiting you, Hannah and the other staff. But as a friend. Would that be OK?"

Looking at Blaine, taking in his earnest expression, Kurt could feel his default defensiveness softening. Blaine had already signed a confidentiality agreement. He'd been vetted. He'd worked intimately with all of Kurt's possessions, been in his space. He had been around the health care staff, like Hannah, and she liked him. Nothing strange had popped up in all this time. 

And, if Kurt was perfectly honest with himself, he wanted Blaine around. He looked forward to his visits. There were times when Kurt wanted Blaine to read on in their book, wanting to find out what would happen next, but feigned getting sleepy. He didn't want the book to be over too quickly, for Blaine to decide he didn't need to come over anymore. 

If they called each other friends, Blaine would probably keep coming after the book was done. And Kurt definitely wanted that. 

Besides, what could Kurt offer anymore for an opportunistic person? His singer career was over and any connections to influential people were faded with the long coma. And he wasn't exactly at his sexy best to be wanted for that reason. Kurt chuckled internally at Blaine even thinking of him like that when he could hardly get out of bed without assistance. Plus, he'd seen his reflection in the mirror. Straggly beard, longish hair, atrophied muscles, skin paler than ever from being inside for a full year, light scars from the accident on his left arm and that side of his chest. Kurt had never felt less attractive in his whole life. He hadn't even felt the urge to masturbate since waking up. He felt old and weak, barely alive.

It still seemed a bit strange that a healthy, vibrant, attractive man like Blaine would bother coming to visit him. He had a full, interesting life. Friends, dating, work. But he also seemed to have a caring side. Maybe his offer of friendship was partially pity. But Kurt found himself nodding in response to his question, and felt relieved when Blaine smiled, and acted normal as he picked up their book to continue reading. 

As Blaine's rich tenor voice washed over Kurt, Kurt felt a spark of something deep inside. He wanted this friendship. Wanted to connect, be open, learn about each other.

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-A/N:  
- _"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up."_ This is a quote from the fantastic movie, Sunset Boulevard (1950) about a former silent film star.  
- _"Every man I have ever known has fallen in love with Gilda and awakened with me."_ Rita Hayworth starred in the 1946 film Gilda and became a pin-up favorite of US servicemen.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt stared at the new email for a full minute before sighing and clicking on it. 

**Hey Kurt,**

**It's great to hear you are out of your coma now. Everyone is saying you are recovering well, better than expected. Of course, it is horrible that you have lost your incredible voice. I still listen to your version of 'I'm Alive' and it sends chills down my spine. Such pure tones, such power. Pure talent.**

**I hope to hear that you continue to get stronger. Feel free to email me if you need anything.**

**Adam**

Tears streamed down Kurt's face, and he reached for some tissues to dry them and blow his nose. He could imagine all the things Adam was not saying in his email. He knew him so well. 

Sure, it was great Kurt was out of the coma, but it didn't really change things between them. They were still so over. The relationship had been a struggle for months, so many fights and time spent apart. Kurt couldn't blame Adam for not flying over to see him now, with things as they were, but it still hurt. This was a man he'd been in a relationship with for years. The longest, most intense one of his whole life. And now it was reduced to barely emailing each other. Well, at least he'd been civil in it. Time to let go of all their pasts hurts and be mature adults. 

**Adam.**

**I'm doing OK and getting stronger thanks to the wonderful health care you have arranged. From what I've heard about the accident, I'm lucky to be alive and doing this well.**

**Hope things are going good for you in England.**

**Thanks again,**  
**Kurt**

Cringing at the stilted, polite email, Kurt hit Send anyways. Keeping a line of communication open. 

\---

Being more mobile and having the tablet were the big changes in Kurt's life. He typed up notes for each of his health care workers, asking them lots of questions about the best way to recover, and followed their advice. They could see the determination in his eyes, how hard he was trying, and every day there were small victories. Things he could do that he couldn't the day before. 

Looking around his bedroom, Kurt felt good that the IV stand was gone. It had been hard walking and moving the large wheeled object with him. Hard having the tubes extending from his arm, getting in the way. He lifted his shirt, running his fingers over the bandage where they had removed the feeding tube port. He would have a small scar when it healed, just another one decorating his chest, but at least he could shower normally then. Sponge baths, even when he did them himself, just never felt like enough. 

Day by day, he was feeling less like an invalid, and more like himself. He helped Hannah and the other nurses in preparing meals, sitting at the table to eat. He still napped in the mornings and afternoons, but most of the time, he was out of bed during the days. There were daily exercises the physiotherapist gave him. And he also did yoga every morning on the balcony, adjusting the positions as needed. 

Talking and joking around with the staff was fun too, and he'd gotten to know them all well. It added variety to his days, hearing about their lives when they weren't in this apartment. 

But he was still the most curious about Blaine, and they had long talks whenever he visited. In the last few weeks, they had relaxed into a fairly normal friendship, ordering in food, watching movies, playing video games.

\---

"Hey, want to watch this movie tonight?" Blaine pulled out a DVD from his messenger bag and Kurt took it, reading the back cover. Handing it back, Kurt nodded. 

"Great!" Blaine bounded over to the DVD player and put the disc in, before settling on the sofa beside Kurt. They already had their dinner plates heaped with Chinese food from the take-out boxes on the coffee table.

Kurt was soon laughing along with the horror comedy. Blaine glanced over, sharing his enjoyment of the jokes, his dark eyes sparkling. Kurt liked that Blaine totally made him feel comfortable, with using the tablet to talk and with the way he laughed now. It was mostly silent, just soft, quick exhales. Blaine always seemed to hear it though, his eyes catching Kurt's and chuckling along. Making Kurt feel normal, accepted, a part of things. 

By the time the movie ended, they were both stuffed and the containers empty. "That was hilarious. I've been meaning to see it for ages and was always too busy with work." Kurt commented from his tablet. 

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I haven't seen it for years. Sam borrowed my copy and I only recently spotted it amongst his stuff when he moved in."

Nodding, Kurt reached for his drink and took a long sip. Why did he have such a sinking feeling? OK, Blaine had a boyfriend who lived with him. One he'd known a long time apparently. It sounded serious. He should be happy for his friend. 

"Sam? Well, he must be a good guy if he's into British zombie comedies. You should both come over for supper sometime. I'll cook something special." Kurt finally replied. It would probably be good to see Blaine with his boyfriend. Give Kurt a healthy dose of reality.

Blaine had been coming over two or three times a week, and Kurt had really enjoyed their time together. He was so easy to talk to, to be around. He was supportive of Kurt's progress, but never made Kurt feel bad if he wasn't able to do something. He would just step in and help out, never making Kurt feel weak or uncomfortable. Like helping Kurt walk if he was really tired after a day of intense physio and yoga. 

Kurt couldn't deny that he found Blaine attractive too. His body was nicely muscled and he wore slim fitting clothes. His arms seemed to grab Kurt's attention the most, the curve of his muscular shoulders and biceps, his strong hands. Kurt really wanted to see him play a guitar, watch those fingers moving confidently over the instrument while the emotions of the song came out with his expressive voice and eyes. He kept his hair fairly short, but Kurt wanted to feel it, feel the texture of his short curls.

Kurt simply smiled as Blaine agreed and said he'd ask Sam. Kurt needed to be realistic here. Blaine had a boyfriend, and they were just friends. Time to nip any attraction he was feeling towards Blaine in the bud and focus on just being friends. He hadn't had silly crushes on guys since high school. 

\---

Taking a deep breath, Kurt glanced over at Blaine, and then clicked his tablet again. “Blaine, I was wondering if you would be available. You would still be free to work during the day, of course. I would pay you a caregiver wage for this. It is OK if you say no, of course. I know it’s a lot to ask. And I don’t want to make things difficult between you and Sam.”

The whole talk with Hannah and Blaine had been going pretty well so far. Kurt had made lots of notes on his tablet, trying to think of every argument they could throw at him. He'd even ordered his favorite pesto, feta, and prawn pizza to help soften them up.

Blaine nodded, smiling at Kurt. “Actually, I think I could do it and it really wouldn’t be much different for me. I’d like to be here, supporting you, no need to pay me. But what do you mean about Sam? I’m confused by that.”

Kurt smiled back during his response, but furrowed his brow when Blaine mentioned Sam. He typed on his keypad. “Sorry, but don’t you live with Sam? Won’t he be a bit irritated that his boyfriend is living somewhere else for a few months?”

Blaine couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and Kurt gave him a perturbed look. “Sam is straight and only a good friend. He’s been crashing on my sofa while he looks for another place to live. So, actually, me living here will suit him fine. He’ll get to sleep in my bed.”

Kurt blinked slowly, trying to take in what Blaine had just said. Sam was straight and only Blaine's friend. So, he'd just invited an attractive, single gay man to live in his apartment. For three months. Together. Alone. At night. 

And as Hannah brought up some other points, and Kurt answered her, a part of his mind couldn't let go of those thoughts. 

Hannah looked over at Blaine. “Are you sure you can commit to this, Blaine? It’s a big step to live somewhere else for a few months.”

Looking at Kurt and then Hannah, Blaine smiled. “I don’t think it will be that big a change. Kurt and I will hang out like we currently do. But I’m sure we will both just be here, doing our own thing. I’ll check on him occasionally. I’ll be near if he needs something and he can just text me to ask for anything.”

And soon after that, Kurt was shaking hands with Hannah, and then Blaine, sealing the deal. And he couldn't deny feeling a zing of awareness along his skin when Blaine's warm, strong hand enclosed his. 

\---

Later, in his bed, Kurt thought it over. It wasn't too late to change the plans. To tell Blaine not to move in, that he was going to find a different roommate. But what would he say if Blaine asked why he wanted the change? 

Kurt just shook his head, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, something plausible, feeling too embarrassed to say the truth. To admit to feeling attracted to him, and being afraid of making a fool of himself over Blaine like he had over Finn. Next he'd be decorating the apartment in Moroccan lamps and fabrics. Knowing that just being around Blaine more would make his feelings get more intense. And sooner or later, Blaine would become aware of it and feel uncomfortable. 

Sure, they got along well as friends, but that was all. Kurt was still so weak, and he hadn't even been outside for a year. Plus, what could he ever offer in return? He was getting stronger, but still had no idea what he would do for work. What if he never regained his full strength, and had to do a job that could accommodate that? What was he going to do with his life? There was no way he felt worthy of being in a relationship until he had basic things like that worked out. 

Unbidden, images of Blaine wearing tight blue pants flashed into his mind. He'd worn them a few nights ago, when they'd last had a movie night. And Kurt couldn't help but watch every time Blaine walked around. He was also wearing a tucked in polo shirt, and both articles of clothing were well fitted. His shoulders, arms and chest looked slim and muscular. His legs looked strong, filling out his pants well. And there was the rest...the way those pants made his ass look...and the way the pants fitted in the front. 

Kurt had been a little distracted the whole movie. Luckily, Blaine hadn't noticed at all.

Now, though, Kurt was picturing what could happen in a week or so. Living together, having a late movie night, no rush to go anywhere. Blaine wearing those pants again. And what if Kurt reached out and slid his hand up Blaine's leg...all the way up.

Reaching down, Kurt stroked himself, slowly at first, but then speeding up. Stopping for a second, he pumped some hand lotion from his bedside table into his palm, knowing there was no lube around. It warmed up quickly as he stroked again, his thoughts going to undoing Blaine's pants, seeing him in only his briefs. Touching and kissing all over his chest. Exploring. Feeling him arch and moan under his touch. 

\---

As Kurt cooled down and caught his breath, panting hard from his first orgasm in over a year, he knew there was no good reason he could give to change their plans. He would just have to be friendly, and keep his distance if he felt pulled towards Blaine too much.

They were both grown men. They could do this. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Bonus points if you can guess the British Zombie horror-comedy I had in mind here. :D

Thanks for reading so far! Your support is awesome & I love you all. 


	14. Chapter 14

"OK, OK. I’m home now. Time for you drunk women to go.” Kurt waved goodbye to Hannah and Deanna, giggling at their tipsy kisses. He felt good, but maybe a little tired. It was the longest he'd been out of the apartment so far. 

All week, Hannah had been getting him outside for short walks, for exercise and a change of scenery. Yesterday, he'd gotten a professional shave and haircut, and it felt good to look in the mirror, seeing a version of Kurt looking back that looked far more familiar than it had in ages. 

Today was kind of like a graduation ceremony, from an invalid to being a person again. He had treated all the women to a full spa day and a fancy dinner, the booze flowing well. He'd only had one glass of wine, not sure of how much it would affect him after going so long with no alcohol. He found he was a little tipsy, but able to manage.

The spa had been just what Kurt had needed. After a long soak in a scented hot tub, he'd had a deep tissue massage and then a body wrap. Treated himself to a facial, and the male version of a manicure and pedicure. It was like they were scrubbing off the old layer of skin and revealing a fresh, new Kurt below. He felt fairly strong again, and able to handle most things physically. He had his body back most of the way, or at least as good as he could get it for now. 

“Hey Kurt. I’m in the living room.” Blaine called out.

_Oh right. The new roomie was here now._

Shrugging, Kurt headed towards Blaine and settled onto the sofa. After the spa treatments, the wine, and the rich, gourmet meal, Kurt was feeling good and a bit sleepy. They chatted a bit and watched a movie. 

\---

“Kurt, let me walk you to your room.” Blaine's tenor voice roused Kurt out of his dozing. Blinking up at him sleepily, Kurt gave him a small closed-lip smile. 

Blaine helped him to stand up and walk to his bedroom. Most days, he wouldn't need assistance like this, but today had been more tiring than normal. Blaine's arm felt good around his waist, keeping him steady. 

Almost asleep on his feet, Kurt was awake enough to know he couldn't sleep in skinny jeans and a dress shirt. He wiggled out of the clothes, dropping them haphazardly, before slipping under the covers, falling asleep almost instantly. Never noticing the quick peeks Blaine shot his way as he picked up the clothes Kurt had dropped. 

\---

It was still a bit odd living together, a bit of an adjustment. Some meals felt awkward and Kurt didn't know what to say. And he felt a bit bad for asking Blaine to stay with him. But it was comforting to not be alone, to have someone around to care. 

"OK if I join you?" Blaine asked one night when Kurt was watching a documentary. 

Kurt just waved beside him in invitation. "You don't have to ask, Blaine. This is your home too while you are here. If I want some time alone, I'll go to my bedroom." He wanted a Blaine to be comfortable during his stay. 

"Oh, I've heard good things about this." Blaine settled in, recognizing the show from clips he'd seen online.

Kurt smiled over at him and restarted the show. "Here, you need to see it from the beginning. I'm only twenty minutes in so I'll rewatch it with you."

Kurt had never been into true crime books or TV shows, but there had been a lot of buzz about this documentary. They were both quickly drawn into the story. 

"That police force was totally pissed off that he was exonerated with DNA evidence." Kurt commented.

Blaine agreed. "Can you imagine losing eighteen years of your life, imprisoned on a charge you didn't commit?"

"Well, no... But I can imagine losing one year of your life." Kurt sighed, still finding it hard to believe that one moment he was driving down a road he'd driven hundreds of times, and it felt like the next moment he was waking up in a hospital bed here. A year just vanished. 

Blaine turned to face him. "We were all so amazed that you came out of it. Everyone around here was celebrating."

Kurt gave him a weak smile. "It's pretty sad that only my health care staff were around to celebrate it." What did it say about him, about his life, that no one else was here?

Hannah had said that they had tried to contact Carole, but hadn't heard back from her. Had things changed in the last year? Was she OK? Had she changed jobs and the message got lost while he'd been unconscious? He didn't even know where to start to try to find out. 

And the last few years had been so crazy. He had been working a lot, flying home to be with his father when he could. And the relationship with Adam had taken over the rest of his time. He hadn't been in contact with friends as much as he would have liked to.

"Is there anyone else we should contact for you? Nothing has been released to the press about you." Blaine gave him a concerned look.

Kurt shook his head. "Maybe later, when I'm stronger. When I know what I want to do with my life. Right now the story would be 'Singer Out of Coma, But Can't Sing'." He sighed. 

They talked a bit about Adam and the future. Blaine had been outraged that Adam was only going to cover the rent for another six months. But Kurt defended him. Adam was giving Kurt a good amount of time to get his life figured out, and it was way more than most ex-boyfriends would do. 

It was just the kick in the ass Kurt needed to get on with things. 

\---

Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Blaine rushing around, looking amused. "Are you always like this when you cook? Calm down, Blaine."

Blaine glared at him as he kept preparing their meal, almost making Kurt chuckle. The doorbell rang and Blaine went to answer it. 

Hearing the two men talking in the hallway, Kurt took a deep breath, pinning a smile on his face.

As Blaine went through the introductions, Kurt looked Sam over. Tall, shaggy dark blond hair, a big easy grin. He seemed friendly and nice. Totally unintimidating.

Kurt clicked on his tablet. "So Sam, what was it like going to school with Blaine?" The accent was American, but a different one than Kurt used with Blaine.

"You talk with the tablet? That's so cool!" Sam stared at the iPad mini. "You sound quite normal. It's a bit disappointing, frankly. I thought you'd sound more like a robot."

Clicking a couple times, Kurt grinned back at Sam. "Like this?" The voice had changed to one that sounded more artificial, more like Stephen Hawking's.

Sam pulled up a chair and Kurt showed him the different voice settings on the device, cracking them both up at the sillier sounding ones. 

"What did your old voice sound like?" Sam asked.

Kurt was a bit surprised at the question, but he clicked a little on his tablet. He played an old interview from YouTube, a routine chat with a reporter he knew well about a month before his last Tony win. 

So strange to think it was only about two years ago. He had everything set. More successful on Broadway then he'd ever dared to dream of, and with the promise of years of choice parts ahead of him. He had planned to work hard and save a lot of money, living conservatively. Wanting to be financially stable for when the offers slowed down, when his 15 minutes were up.

Then Adam had come along and introduced him to a lavish lifestyle, taking him on luxurious trips and shopping at the best designers. Clothes had always been Kurt's weakness, and he treated himself to occasional splurges, without dipping into his savings. But Adam spoiled Kurt, insisting on paying for everything. Adam would never live as simply as Kurt did, so Kurt adapted to Adam's ways. 

Deep in his heart, Kurt had always wondered how long it would last. They had fun together; partying, travelling, and shopping. It was hedonistic and without limits. But eventually, Kurt tired of it. The idea of another fancy party, full of phony people trying to impress each other, bored him. Adam still loved it, but he'd grown up in that lifestyle, was used to swimming in those waters. Kurt had only tried it on for a while, and in the end, found it didn't fit him that well.

Luckily, Blaine served dinner then and Kurt got Sam talking about himself. A good change of topic compared to Kurt dwelling on the past.

\---

"What embarrassing things can you tell me about Blaine?" The dinner was done, and Kurt felt like bugging Blaine.

Blaine shot Kurt a glare. "Hey! That's not fair. Don't answer that, Sam."

Sam was laughing at their interaction. "But I have a doozy...I don't think I can keep it in."

Kurt's eyes widened and he motioned with his hands for Sam to tell him.

Giving Blaine a shrug, Sam smiled. "Blaine used to have a poster of you on his wall."

Blaine swore and lowered his head down to the table, hiding his blushing face.

"Really? Which poster?" Kurt smirked widely as he looked down at Blaine, and then over to Sam. 

Sam was chuckling at Blaine. "I don't know. You are wearing a tight grey t-shirt and jeans, looking all intense."

"Oh, that's from 'Next to Normal'." Kurt replied. It still had a special spot in his heart. It was a passionate, physical role; with a rock-edged score that was a big change from his previous parts. He'd poured everything into it, knowing it could change the way he was seen by directors and producers. And it worked. 

Blaine sat up, his cheeks still a bit red. "Yes, I was a little fanboy over you back then." He shrugged. "I was just a teenager."

Sam laughed. "Bullshit! It was here in New York, so you were 23 at least."

Smirking, Kurt typed. "Yeah, I was 24 when I did that role, and you're a year younger than me."

"OK. Busted. Now would you two please quit ganging up on me?" Blaine stood up, gathering the dirty dishes. "I cooked, so you two can clean up." And he gave them both a haughty stare before spinning on his heel and leaving the room.

Chuckling, Sam and Kurt cleaned up the kitchen and went out to the living room, Blaine eventually joined them. It was a fun night, talking about the voice app and playing card games. 

\---

"Hey, let me carry that back to the kitchen." Blaine stepped forward and took the loaded tray of dessert dishes from Kurt.

"Thanks for bringing Sam by. He's fun to be around." Kurt commented, trailing behind Blaine to the kitchen.

"I'm just glad he didn't say anything to offend you." Blaine unloaded the tray and stashed it away.

Kurt leaned against the counter, a small grin on his lips. "He's got a big mouth?"

Blaine chuckled as he put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. "In more ways than one. One cheerleader used to call him 'trouty mouth'. But mostly he just talks without thinking sometimes."

"Sorry he embarrassed you about the poster." Kurt replied, watching Blaine. All night, he'd kept imaging Blaine at 23, lying on a bed and looking at his poster. It was kind of strange, when a friend admitted to seeing a show. Kurt on stage was such a different person, with different energy, than Kurt in his regular life.

Sighing, Blaine finished the dishes and closed the dishwasher, leaning back against the counter to look at him. "Maybe I should have told you before that I was a big fan of yours. But I didn't want things to be weird between us."

Kurt was looking over at Blaine, letting his eyes travel over his face slowly. And then they went lower, taking in his light blue tee and the black jeans. There was an energy, and intensity, that performers could give off, and he was doing it now. Letting Blaine feel it, feeling his awareness of it. Looking Blaine over slowly, appreciating his body in those fitted clothes. 

Blaine seemed frozen under Kurt's gaze, and his breath was loud in the small kitchen. Looking Kurt over, his eyes darkening, reacting to him. 

But as quick as he poured the energy towards Blaine, he stopped it. Kurt gave a little smile, glancing down at his tablet. "It's OK. We are just friends now. I'm feeling a little tired. Would you help me to my room?"

Shaking himself out of his trance, Blaine nodded and stepped closer to wrap his arm around Kurt's waist. As they walked slowly to Kurt's bedroom, he could tell by Blaine's faster breathing that he was still aware of Kurt. Teasing, just a little, Kurt pressed close against Blaine's side, feeling the warmth of his body through their clothing. Letting their legs brush against each other as they walked down the hallway. Savoring the smell of Blaine's cologne and just being this close to an attractive man again. 

Blaine mumbled goodnight at Kurt's bedroom door, and Kurt gave him a small grin as he silently thanked Blaine with his expressive big eyes, and closed the door.

Stripping quickly, Kurt slipped into his large bed and took a couple pumps of hand lotion. He kept thinking of how Blaine had just looked, and smelled, and felt. Imagined pulling him into the bedroom instead of shutting the door. Stripping him, touching and tasting him. All night.

\---

Lying back on the pillows after, Kurt knew he shouldn't have done that tonight to Blaine. Or to himself. To be Kurt, the performer, to attract men... It was shallow and purely physical. They were attracted to the role, a fantasy, a made-up person that Kurt embodied for a few hours. To continue that to the bedroom was only superficially satisfying. 

Kurt had been weak, giving into an impulse and seeing if he could get Blaine to give him the fanboy lust look. For that moment, acutely missing being the big star and wanting the shallow flattery and attention. To be looked at with desire. He had poured out the energy, and Blaine had responded to it. 

But here, now, Kurt wondered if he had damaged their friendship for that silly impulse. Would things be awkward between them now? 

Sure, it had been nice to be looked at that way, after feeling like an invalid, a half-dead person, for so long. But the looks hadn't been for Kurt now. It had been leftover feelings for Kurt that was now long, long gone. 

Kurt wanted to be cared and wanted for who he was now. Not because he was a shadow of his former self. And getting involved with Blaine, an admitted fan, just wouldn't be right.

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

\---

“Did you ever hear about the gay penguins at this zoo?” Blaine looked over at Kurt. They were on a bench, watching the penguins walk around, jumping into the water.

Shaking his head, Kurt sat back and watched Blaine as he told the story. He liked using his hands for emphasis, a truly artistic soul. 

Kurt also liked watching Blaine's expressive face as he spoke. The way his large eyes met Kurt's, before looking away, searching for the right word to bring his point across. In the sun, his skin had a nice tone, making Kurt feel even more self-conscious of how pale he must look in contrast after being indoors so much. His five o'clock shadow was showing a little. Blaine must need to shave daily to keep it under control. Kurt could skip a day, his whiskers growing in much lighter in colour and thickness. He was tempted to run his fingertips over Blaine's cheek, wanting to feel the slight scratch from his whiskers. His hair was a little longer than usual, and the sun highlighted the dips and swirls of the curly texture. It looked soft and product-free. Touchable.

It was a pretty spring day, soft breezes and flowers in bloom in the many flower beds all around the zoo. It felt good to wander slowly like this. Talking, eating ice cream, watching the animals. So much of Kurt's life for over ten years had been work, work, work. He loved the work, but the pace was relentless. 

Sitting on another bench farther away from people, Blaine asked Kurt about the accident. 

Taking off his sunglasses, Kurt toyed with them as he thought back. 

“I don’t remember the actual accident, which is probably a good thing. They say I broke my leg and hit my head... that’s what caused the coma. My leg feels a bit sore now, and there are a few scars from the broken glass, but they are pretty faded. Now I just feel weak and like my body isn’t really my own.” Kurt shrugged. “But it's starting to come back.”

There were times, alone in bed at night, Kurt thought about that night. Adam had wanted to schedule a trip when Kurt's current run was done, but he wanted a tropical destination with lots of nightclubs and partying. They had done that type of trip before, and had a good time, but it wasn't what Kurt was in the mood for now. 

His last trip had been without Adam, going to Thailand to visit Carole. It had been good to just get away to such a beautiful place, with such friendly, gentle people. He had followed Carole around in her work, helping with simple things like playing with children while their mother got medical care, or feeding an older patient who needed help. Nobody had cared that he was a famous Broadway star. He was just Kurt, Carole's boy, wearing simple, casual clothes and a floppy hat. 

When she wasn't working, they ate fresh, tasty food and talked for hours. They told stories about his Dad, laughing together, often wiping tears away. She was the one person on the planet that loved and missed his Dad as much as he did. By the end of the trip, he felt closer to Carole than ever before, and more at peace.

To go on the trip Adam wanted would have been something Kurt would have enjoyed before, but it didn't have any appeal now. Maybe Kurt was being boring lately, not wanting to party and go to huge concerts. He felt a bit guilty, seeing the disappointment in Adam's expression. He didn't feel like he was still grieving, but maybe he had just matured and moved on. The early years with Adam, full of running around everywhere together, had been fun and new then. Kurt was feeling a little of the old 'been there, done that' to any of Adam's suggestions. 

He suggested they go somewhere pretty and quiet. Where they could enjoy each other's company. Sleep in, read books in hammocks, walk along a beach. Go hiking and swimming in the ocean. Eat fresh seafood and drink a bit too much. Reconnect with each other. See if there was still something between them, or if they were done.

They had argued, getting so bad that Kurt just had to leave, get some space. He had been wiping tears that streamed down his face as he drove, not concentrating enough on the road. It wasn't so much about the stupid argument, but about the feeling that they had changed, their relationship had changed, and there wasn't a way to fix it. Kurt simply wasn't the same guy he was a year ago. True realization that it was over, really over, was what kept the tears flowing.

Kurt started a bit when he felt Blaine's arm settling over his shoulders, his body shifting closer. It was a comforting gesture, and Kurt relaxed against him, letting his cheek rest against Blaine's shoulder. It was just a friendly gesture, but Kurt liked the closeness. It was nice feeling the warmth of Blaine's body against his, smelling his woodsy cologne. He also liked that Blaine knew it what was Kurt needed, feeling sad thinking about the past. 

It was also the first time he had been this close to Blaine, for this long. He felt very aware of him, this attractive, caring man. Was it just loneliness and feeling a bit adrift in his life, contributing to making him feel more for Blaine maybe? Just wanting to grab Blaine, pull him closer, and kiss him hard. Or just normal sexual urges, now waking up from having Blaine around so much? He liked Blaine as a friend, for sure. Was there more? On his side, or Blaine's?

They eventually moved apart and talked about other things, but Kurt knew the highlight of the day had been sitting close like that.

\---

Blaine nudged his shoulder. “How do you feel about this? Looking through it all?”

Sighing, Kurt closed the scrapbook he'd been showing Blaine and put it on the coffee table. “I think the next step is to go public. Make a statement or something. Although what am I supposed to say? Hey, everybody! I’m not in a coma!”

“Or you could be more dramatic. Go to some big society function and pull off a mask and watch everyone freak out.” Blaine chuckled.

Kurt did his almost silent laughter. “It would be even worse if I did that and everyone shrugged and said ‘Who the fuck is that?’ If no one cared.” He'd been in Broadway long enough to see a lot of stars come and go. It was just the nature of the business.

“Well, you had an agent back then. Could you contact her and see what she recommends?” Blaine replied. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Kurt typed. “Although I was hoping to have more of an idea of my future." He had thought about it, and no easy answers were coming up for a future job that would cover his bills. He was interested in fashion, and could look at going into design. But he knew from working at Vogue all those years ago what went into it, and it wouldn't be quick or easy to get into. Not being able to speak made his job prospects even less, and Kurt had done many internet searches, looking at job possibilities, with nothing really grabbing his attention.

Blaine must have sensed Kurt's maudlin mood, as he moved closer to Kurt, and put an arm around his shoulders. Kurt leaned into him. Blaine wrapped his other arm around Kurt, giving him a hug.

It felt good, being held by Blaine. He ran his hand slowly up and down Kurt's back, in a comforting way. They had been spending so much time together lately, talking about so many things. Kurt felt really close to Blaine. His warm hand moving over his back sent shivers of awareness along Kurt's skin. He could feel Blaine's warm breath against his neck.

Shifting a bit closer, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine. Pulling back a little, he looked over Blaine’s face, taking in his large dark eyes and his full lips, and just had to know how they felt. Leaning forward, he lightly touched his lips to Blaine’s. Just to try it. Like he'd been wanting to for so long. 

Blaine stilled, hardly daring to breathe. He looked at Kurt’s big eyes, and Kurt could see the questioning look in them. 

Cupping Blaine’s face, Kurt kissed him again, harder, wanting a real kiss. Wanting to feel those full lips, hot breath mingling, wanting to see if it was as good as he was imaged it would be. Blaine gasped, sinking into the kiss. Kurt couldn't resist going for more, just wanting more.

Pushing on his shoulder, Kurt urged Blaine to lie back on the sofa, until they were lying flat, exchanging kiss after kiss. They were hot, intense, perfect. Blaine’s hands were on Kurt’s back, pulling him in closer., their chests pressed together. 

Feeling Blaine's hands on his back, Kurt wanted more, everything. Wanted to pull Blaine's shirt off and bury his face in his neck, kissing all over his skin. Tasting it, smelling him, just sinking into every sensation. Wanting to feel alive, surrounded by this vibrant man, nothing but touching and tasting, nothing but sex. 

Kurt suddenly knew it was too much, too fast. Knew he couldn't take advantage of Blaine, let things get out of hand like this. This was his friend. _Stop, stop..._

As quick as it started, it stopped. Kurt pulled back, sitting up on the sofa, running his hand over his face. It had been so hard, pulling away from Blaine's arms, backing away from his tempting mouth. 

Blaine sat up beside him, looking over at Kurt, confused. He looked a bit rumpled, his lips a bit swollen and far, far too close. Too good. 

Kurt just gave Blaine an apologetic look, patted his shoulder, and left, quickly escaping to his bedroom and shutting the door. 

Jumping in the bed, Kurt buried his face into the pillow. _Woah, that had got out of hand fast._

Rolling onto his back, Kurt stared up at the ceiling, looking at the situation. How did he really feel about Blaine? They were friends, for sure, and there was some attraction there. And from how hot those kisses had just been, there was chemistry there too. 

But was there more to it, for either of them, than that? Was it just two single men, together and alone a lot...libidos taking over because there was an opportunity? Kurt sighed, hoping it wasn't just that. Sex was very tempting, but he'd never been very happy in the long run when he'd given into the impulse and tried to have casual sex. He just wasn't that kind of guy.

Sighing, Kurt also pondered the possibility that Blaine had been kissing him back because of another reason. He admitted to being a fan, and could have been swept away into those old feelings. Kissing his fantasy Kurt, not the faded reality of Kurt now. He looked more like he had before, and he'd noticed Blaine looking at him more often. He hated thinking that was all it was for Blaine, but Kurt was a realist. He didn't want to start something with Blaine only to have it crash because he wasn't living up to Blaine's fantasy Kurt.

Then again, they were two adult men living together for awhile. Couldn't they just have some naked fun? A bit of a fling? Friends with benefits? Just be up front and clear about their feelings, so nobody was being misled. 

Kurt sighed. Truth was, he was feeling lonely and a bit lost. Blaine was kind, friendly and attractive. They liked each other, but was there really anything more to it? It would be bad to jump in bed together because of proximity. 

Really, as tempting as Blaine was, it was a bad idea to get involved with anyone right now. His life was a mess and he needed to focus on getting a new career. 

Tomorrow, he'd apologize to Blaine, and talk it out.

\---

“So, do you feel OK with her plan?” Blaine sat down and dug into his breakfast. 

It had been such a strange morning already. Blaine interrupting his yoga to show him the zoo pictures online, and then talking with his old agent Melissa. 

Kurt sipped his coffee, and then he shrugged. He typed a little on his tablet. “I’d rather just have my privacy, but sooner or later, it would end up in the news.” He knew there was interest in his story from the past drama. Better to just get it out there, and let it blow over.

Chuckling, Blaine sprinkled salt and pepper over his eggs. “It was kind of funny how she kept suggesting you do an interview, and you kept having to remind her that you couldn’t speak. Imagine doing an interview where you played your tablet messages the whole time.”

Smiling, Kurt could see the humor in it. “Well, I could do a print interview, I guess.”

“Do you really think my name has to get out there? Can’t you just leave me out of it?” Blaine looked a bit uncomfortable.

Kurt tilted his head, looking at Blaine. “What? Are you embarrassed of being associated with me?”

Blaine looked down, not speaking for a long time.

Sighing, Blaine looked back at Kurt. “No, but everyone is going to think we are a couple no matter what. I like you as a friend, Kurt. And then last night…” 

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly, and then he looked away, not wanting Blaine to see his expression. 

Getting up, he cleared away the dishes. Blaine had cooked, so he was washing up.

But the whole time he went through the motions of washing the dishes, Blaine's comments went through Kurt's head. Why was Blaine so against being associated with Kurt? Was he afraid of being dragged into tabloid news, if the story of Kurt being out of the coma dragged out all the old stories of Adam and Kurt's relationship? Or because he didn't want to be labelled as Kurt's boyfriend in public? Kurt had assumed he was out, but maybe he wasn't. Or maybe he was dating or interested in someone else, and being linked to Kurt could screw it up. 

Or did he just want a quiet fling? Some sex behind closed doors? Or maybe today, in the cold light of day, he wasn't interested in getting involved with Kurt at all. 

The more Kurt thought about it, the more he thought they should just stick to being friends only. Pretty soon, Blaine would be moving out, and the temptation would be gone too. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey, I won't be that far away. And I'll come by for some visits. I know Carole is here for a month, but it's going to go fast. Spend as much time with her as you can, Kurt." Blaine said softly, standing at the doorway with his small suitcase. 

It was hard thinking of him being away for the next few weeks, even if he visited occasionally. Kurt didn't know what to say, just biting his lip and feeling anxious. 

Blaine stepped forward, giving Kurt a quick hug. "Text me, OK?" He whispered, his voice a bit scratchy. 

Kurt nodded, and watched as Blaine slipped out the door.

\---

"So, what's going on with you and Blaine?" Carole asked, taking a bun from the breadbasket and buttering it.

Kurt gave a small smile to their server who topped up his wineglass, waiting for him to move away before typing on his new smartphone. Carole had encouraged him to use it everywhere, but he was still a bit self-conscious about it. "We are just friends. Don't you like him?" He gave Carole a curious look, wondering what was behind her question. 

Carole nodded, taking a sip of her wine. "Oh, yes. He's fantastic. So attractive, smart, and funny." Her eyes were on Kurt's and she grinned when Kurt seemed to be relieved at her answer.

"He's been so kind to me, right from the start. Hannah said he read about a dozen Vogue magazines to me while I was still in the coma. What kind of young guy would volunteer to do something like that?" Kurt sipped his wine, liking that he was better able to tolerate alcohol in limited amounts lately. 

She nodded. "Yes, I would say he has a good heart. But I don't think it's just kindness that has him helping you at the apartment now."

Kurt furrowed his brow. "You think he wants something from me?" It was good getting an outsider's view on the whole situation. Kurt didn't have the perspective of leaving the apartment for work everyday, or other grounding influences. 

Carole just grinned as their server appeared back at their table, fussing around and topping up Kurt's glass again. Once he was gone, she leveled a straight look at Kurt. "Yes, I think he wants you."

Widening his eyes, Kurt chuckled at her comment. "And I think you are just playing matchmaker. He's got his shit together. He's young and attractive. Why would someone like that be interested in me?"

Reaching across the table, Carole put a hand on his arm. "Because you are young and attractive too, Kurt." She could tell he wasn't buying it though, his confidence so shaken from his long recovery. "Sweetheart, just look at the effect you've had on our poor server. He's topped up your wineglass three times and brought over extra butter, and we've only been here fifteen minutes."

Kurt just shook his head at her comment, chuckling. He glanced over to where their server was standing, and caught his look. _Oh._ Carole was right. He knew that type of look, got caught up in it for a moment, before gathering himself and looking away. It was a look of pure interest. A look better suited to a crowded bar around midnight than this upscale restaurant in the early afternoon. 

Watching as their server got busy with his work again, moving quickly between the tables, Kurt looked him over. He was probably in his mid-twenties, athletic, attractive. Muscular arms that filled his dress shirt well, perfectly styled light brown hair, the complete package. And Kurt knew from the way he behaved around them that he didn't know Kurt as a former star. People had a different way around him, of looking at him, when he was recognized for that. So, that meant his interest was for Kurt now, Kurt as he was now.

It was flattering, and a bit embarrassing. Carole shot knowing smirks his way during the rest of their meal every time their server was by, checking that everything was OK a little too often and bringing them complimentary chocolate mousse with their coffees. There was a folded note under Kurt's dessert plate, and a quick glance showed that it was a phone number. Kurt tucked it into his pocket before Carole could see it and bug him some more.

He was so out of practice with dealing with this kind of thing. He'd been in the apartment for months, only now getting out more with Carole. Before that, he'd had years of being out with Adam as a couple.

\---

"What about you, Carole? You are bugging me about my non-existent romantic life. Is there some handsome Doctor-without-boarders coming by the clinic lately? Selflessly helping when there is a malaria outbreak?" Kurt nudged her shoulder as they took the scenic route back to the apartment, walking slowly through a park. 

Carole chuckled. "Hardly. Just lots of good friends. Someone as special as your father doesn't just show up that often." 

Kurt gave her an assessing glance. She was still attractive, with her intelligent eyes, slim body and big heart. He wouldn't be that surprised if she did meet someone else, and would be happy for her.

"Well, I'm determined to show you everything I love about New York. Thailand is great, but I think you should move back and live near me." Grabbing her hand, he tucked it around his waist and put his arm over her shoulders. 

Carole gave him a little squeeze, walking along tucked against his side. "What would I even do for work here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes before typing one-handed on his phone. "There are tons of nursing jobs here, silly. I'm going to invite my nurses over and get their help convincing you. You'll love them."

"Well, it will be good to meet them and thank them for taking such good care of you." Carole guided him over to a shady park bench, knowing Kurt needed frequent breaks to rest still. "But I think you should concentrate on your next career, not mine."

Kurt sighed, leaning back against the bench and looking out over the grassy expanse of the park. "That's the big question. I have been researching it, but I feel kind of lost."

Carole nodded, considering it. "Well, what did you like about being a big Broadway star? What didn't you like?" 

It took a few minutes for Kurt to answer, thinking hard about her questions. Having Carole here was great. She knew him for so long, so well. Knew him from his awkward high school years, his NYADA years, the time he struggled to establish his career. 

"I liked the atmosphere, working with skilled people at the top of their craft. The cast, but also the crew. The directors, writers, musicians, costume designers. It's a whole creative community coming together to put on the best possible show night after night. Leaving your ego at the door and all supporting each other in that goal." Broadway was highly competitive, always changing. Shows came and went, wonderful productions disappearing too fast because they didn't capture enough audience support to stay. It was exciting and vibrant.

Carole nodded, smiling at Kurt's enthusiasm. "OK, but what didn't you like about it?"

Taking a deep breath, Kurt let it out slowly. "It was exciting, but tiring to always go at that pace. Always having to be 'on'. Being there nights and weekends, eight shows a week, month after month. Hard to have a life outside that schedule." 

Kurt had struggled with that a lot over the years. It made it hard to keep up friendships and relationships. Hard to squeeze in seeing people when they weren't free during the day.

Taking his hand, Carole gave it a squeeze. "Frankly, that is something that has concerned me about you for years, Kurt. You gave 200% to the job, and did fantastic. But you weren't very good at balancing the rest of your life with it. So before you jump into another career, use this time, these months, to think about what will make you happy in the long run."

She was right, and they sat there quietly on that bench, letting their thoughts take them away. 

"I got so involved in my work for so long, I don't even know where to start, Carole." Kurt confessed finally. 

Gathering him into a tight hug, Carole ran a soothing hand up and down his back. After a few minutes, she pulled back. "OK, let's picture your ideal life then. Do you live in the city or a small town or in the country?"

Kurt couldn't imagine living in a small town like Lima again, and liked visiting the country, but preferred city life. "The city." 

"Do you have a small apartment or a big fancy place?" Carole leaned down, picking a yellow dandelion and twirling it between her fingers. 

Thinking back on having the big house in upstate New York with Adam, and all the different places he'd lived over the years, Kurt shrugged. "I don't need a fancy place to impress people. Just somewhere big enough to live comfortably and not feel too squished when a few friends come over." The Brooklyn apartment was lovely, but Kurt knew he'd have to downsize when Adam stopped covering the rent. It was more than he needed, and he doubted he'd be making a high enough salary by then to cover the cost.

"How important is money? Is it worth it to work long, long hours to get a big bank account?" Carole gave Kurt a sideways glance.

Tilting his head back, Kurt looked at the leaves moving with a light breeze overhead as he thought about it. "I want to live comfortably, not worry about covering the bills, and able to save money for retirement. Being able to have splurges like a fancy night out, some designer clothes and a vacation or two each year. But nothing to the levels Adam has. I lived in his world for a few years and found it kind of sad and empty, behind the flashy exterior."

"Really? But it looked so fun and glamorous from the magazine articles and entertainment TV shows." Carole sat up, turning towards Kurt. His answer clearly surprised her.

He smiled back at her. "It was so fun and exciting at first. Going to all the big parties, meeting people, travelling, seeing amazing things. But after a while, I realized the novelty wore off. A lot of the people at that level weren't that interesting, but playing at impressing each other with extravagant purchases and parties." 

He shrugged. "I'd rather go to a good hole-in-the-wall restaurant than a posh five star one. Rather have friends over, order in some food and play card games than go to a swanky party."

"Speaking of friends, I noticed that you don't really have any." Carole said, pinning Kurt with a direct challenging look.

Kurt laughed, and held up his hands in protest. "Hey, I have lots of friends!"

She scoffed. "I've been here a few weeks and only met Blaine at the beginning. You spend all your time with me. I don't see you keeping in contact with other people." 

"You want me wasting the little time you are here by going out with other people?" Kurt gave her a disbelieving look, a bit stung by her comments. 

Her look softened. "Kurt, I'm just concerned about you. I've seen how you have let your work take over your life and you haven't kept up with your friends. I used to run into your old high school friends in Lima and could tell you had lost contact with them." 

Kurt thought of the scrapbook he'd worked on recently, and knew she was right about that. "What should I do?"

"You need to figure out your priorities, what you value, and make them a part of your regular life. Like your Dad with friday night dinners. He wanted you to have a good family connection, and he made sure you sat down together every week." Carole ran a hand down his arm. 

Kurt arched an eyebrow. "I never had Friday nights off." So often, he'd come home from the theatre, and feel tired. Plus, most people didn't want to do something at eleven pm at night.

Carole gave him a look like he was being a petulant teenager. "You will have to work at it if you end up with a crazy schedule like that again. Find time to see people face-to-face. Book them for a card game on your night off, meet them for brunch before you go into work, take them out for lunch, play tennis, meet them at the farmers market to shop and have coffee."

"Yes, mother." Kurt used his old comment that he used to bug Hannah with when she nagged him too much. 

Carole shot an indulgent smile his way as she stood up and stretched. "Good, glad you agree with me. Now, I want you to set up three get-togethers with friends in the next week."

Kurt stood up. "Three! In a week!" His voice app didn't have a different tone, but his expressions made up for it, and had Carole chuckling. 

Carole just patted his arm, and headed back towards the apartment. She was here for another couple weeks. Might as well give Kurt some well deserved nagging while she was around. 

\---

**Hey Blaine. How’s it going? – K**

Kurt pressed Send, and let out a deep breath. 

After Carole kept bugging him, he had finally caved and had been contacting friends the last couple days. They had gone for lunch with his agent Melissa yesterday. And he had invited his nurses over for dinner on the weekend, promising to make a full roast beef dinner with Yorkshire pudding and all the fixings. It had been fun contacting them and setting up the plans.

But contacting Blaine was different. Scary. Things were still so up in the air between them. Blaine had sent a few friendly texts, and Kurt had replied, but felt a bit uncomfortable. 

Blaine was probably happy to be back in his own place, back in his own life. Not living from a suitcase. He had already done so much for Kurt, gone out of his way for him, Kurt felt a little guilty contacting him now. What if Blaine saw his text and thought to himself, _Sheesh, what does Kurt want from me now?_

**Pretty good. How are things with you and Carole? –B**

Kurt felt a surge of relief and happiness when he saw Blaine's quick reply. 

**We’re having a great time. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? – K**

Kurt hit Send before nerves stopped him. There. He'd asked. If Blaine said No, at least he'd get some idea where he stood. He asked for tonight, knowing he'd get too nervous if he had to wait days before Blaine came over.

**Sure, that would be good. Around 6 pm? -B**

Kurt read the text and felt like dancing around. 

**See you then. – K**

Jumping up, Kurt ran to his closet, needing an outfit that looked casual, but good. _Hmmmm....this could take awhile._

\---

Carole kept smirking at Kurt as he danced around the kitchen, getting everything ready. He was a ball of nervous energy, and had put the radio on to an oldies station to have something to move to. 

There was the knock on the door, and Kurt froze, glancing over at Carole. She took a sip of her wine, looking very relaxed. He waved towards the door, urgently. 

"Oh, you want me to answer the door?" Carole slowly got up, much too slowly for Kurt's liking, and sauntered down the hallway. 

Kurt could hear them talking, Blaine's voice so familiar. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

Walking over to the oven, Carole clicked on the light and peered in. “We’re making ham and scalloped potatoes.”

Looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, Kurt flashed Blaine a smile. Putting down the knife, he walked over to Blaine, stopping directly in front of him. They looked at each other for a couple heartbeats, and then Blaine leaned forward to give him a quick hug. He smelled fantastic, that woodsy cologne Kurt loved.

“Hey Kurt. It’s good to see you.” Blaine said quickly, his eyes only meeting Kurt's for a second before he looked away.

Kurt bowed his head, silently agreeing with Blaine’s statement, a small smile curling his lips. Blaine looked good in a deep red button up shirt, the color working so well with his skin tone and his dark hair. 

Blaine offered to help, but Kurt was almost done, so he just waved for him to sit down. Carole poured them some drinks and joined him at the kitchen table.

\---

After dinner, they went to the living room and played a little of the Frustration card game. Eventually, Carole went to bed. Blaine offered to leave, but Kurt just shook his head, and they were soon settled on the sofa, watching a movie together like they had so many other nights. 

But it felt nothing like the other nights. Kurt couldn't relax, just feeling so aware of Blaine. Blaine, sitting so near, looking so good. 

All during dinner, Kurt had watched as Blaine talked and laughed with Carole, having a hard time looking away. His easy, genuine smile. Those incredible big eyes. His natural friendliness and openness. 

And now Blaine was giving him small little looks. Looks that made the heat uncurl inside Kurt. Little looks that Blaine diverted when Kurt tried to catch his gaze, a little teasing game.

Finally, Kurt caught his gaze, meeting those warm hazel eyes with a small smirk on his lips. “Why are you looking at me like that?” And he couldn't resist letting his eyes drop to Blaine's mouth, before going back up.

“Like what?” Blaine teased back, not bothering now to look away. 

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly at his answer. Looking down to type his answer on the tablet, he couldn't resist peeking up at Blaine, his eyes definitely flirty. “Like I’m dessert.”

Leaning closer, Blaine looked into Kurt’s blue-grey eyes, and let his gaze drift down to Kurt’s mouth. When he met his eyes again, Kurt could see the heat there. Matching how he was feeling. Looking down at Kurt’s lips again, Blaine whispered, “Because I really want to taste you.”

He wasn’t sure if Blaine moved closer or he did, but suddenly they were kissing. And unlike the other time, these kisses were hard and deep, right from the start, Kurt’s hand digging into Blaine’s hair to drag him down.

Kurt could hardly catch his breath between their intense kisses. Somehow, he was lying flat on his back with Blaine on top of him. And it felt incredible. Spreading his legs, they both shifted so Blaine was lying between them, and Kurt rocked his hips up, not caring how desperate it might look. Blaine moaned, tucking his head against Kurt's neck, moving until they were pressed right up together. Guiding his hands down Blaine's back, Kurt cupped his ass, grinding against him, kissing near his ear. His breaths were coming in quick little pants. 

In this moment, Kurt missed his voice so much. He wanted to tell Blaine how much he wanted him, how sexy he looked, anything to express how good this was. 

Since he couldn't say it, he was going to show it. Pushing back against Blaine, he got off the sofa, grabbing his hand. Tugging firmly, Blaine let out a chuckle as he followed Kurt to his bedroom. So many times, Blaine had helped him get to bed. This time, Kurt was leading him there, eagerly.

The bedroom was bright with moonlight, and Kurt's eyes were admiring as his hands went to the buttons of Blaine's rumpled shirt, undoing them slowly. Watching as more and more skin came into view, beautiful, perfect.

He pushed the shirt off Blaine's shoulder, letting it drop to the ground as he finally got to touch, run light fingers over his toned chest. Clenching them on Blaine's hips as he stepped closer to kiss along his collarbone. 

Blaine's moan in response sent a thrill right through Kurt, loving the reaction to his touch. Blaine's hands were busy too, undoing Kurt's tie, and the buttons of his cardigan and shirt. Soon, Kurt was naked from the waist up, and felt a little self-conscious under Blaine's gaze. He was slim, but had lost most of his muscle tone. Faint scars were scattered over his left shoulder and a little down his chest. It was the first time he had been naked with a lover since the accident, first time anyone except a medical professional had seen him this way.

But Blaine's eyes were full of appreciation, and he laid Kurt down on the sheets, lying beside him to slowly touch and kiss over his skin. Deliberately tracing his lips along those scars, those marks. Gazing up at Kurt and letting him see the heat in them. 

By the time he was undoing Kurt's tight jeans, Kurt had a hard time keeping still. He just wanted. Needed. Blaine tugged his pants and underwear off, and Kurt launched himself at Blaine, doing the same for him. He just needed to feel Blaine, his glorious naked skin. Needed to feel him pressed up close, no barriers between them. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	17. Chapter 17

Kurt sighed as he looked over the list on his tablet, and his finger hovered over one of the names. Should he invite him to opening night? 

The rest of the list was some close friends. Melissa, Hannah, friends from old productions he had reconnected with. But what was Blaine? Just a friend now? A summer fling? 

_Fuck it._ Kurt hit send on the email, letting it go to the administrative team who were sending out the invitations. There. He had invited Blaine. Now he would just have to see if he showed up. Figure out the rest as it happened. 

Maybe he was a fool, inviting him when things had ended so abruptly between them. Kurt, so busy with this play, not spending enough time with Blaine. That last night together. Yes, it had been a last ditch effort to try to convince Blaine to stay. Kurt hadn't been surprised when he had awoken to an empty bed, an empty apartment...but it still hurt. He still missed Blaine. 

Being busy preparing for opening night was a good distraction. It was starting to really come together, and he could tell Nate was pleased. 

\----

"So, who is going to be your date for opening night?" Melissa stepped out of the change room, turning to the mirror as she straightened the purple cocktail dress. 

Kurt gave the dress a good look over, and shook his head. Melissa shrugged and headed back into the change room.

Typing on his phone, Kurt waited until she stepped out in another dress to hit Speak. "I'm part of the production. Do I really have to bring a date?" 

This dress was an icy blue shade and suited Melissa much better. She looked into the mirror back to Kurt. "Come on, Kurt. There will be a lot of press there. This is your first public high profile event since the accident. People will be curious about you. Want to know how you are managing."

"I don't want Nate's play overshadowed by my personal stuff." Kurt cringed at the thought of being in front of a lot of press. "How about you be my date, and talk to the press for me?" 

Melissa was viewing the dress from a few different angles, and seemed satisfied. "That idea stinks...for a couple reasons. The press will see right through it and, as cute as you are, I'd rather go with my boyfriend. Better chance he'll put out at the end of the night."

Kurt returned her smile, having a hard time arguing with that. 

A date. Who could he bring? Blaine? Kurt sighed. No, it was just too much of a mess. Maybe that server who had slipped his phone number to Kurt when Carole was here? 

Kurt laughed to himself at the idea of messaging that guy. "Hi, I'm Kurt. You flirted with me a couple months ago and gave me your number. I'm actually an associate director of a new musical on Broadway and would love to have you as my date when it opens. And, by the way, I can't speak."

“OK…I’ll think about it.” He finally typed, and Melissa gave him a satisfied nod as she took the dress to the counter to buy it. When he got home, he would look through his contact list and see if there was a friend who could be his plus-one. He didn’t need the drama of trying to meet someone new now with so many things to do for opening night. 

\---

Kurt grabbed a couple bottles of water from the mini fridge, and dropped onto his old sofa, passing one of the bottles to Nate. “It couldn’t have been that bad.” 

Unscrewing the cap, Nate took a big swig of his water before setting it down on the coffee table with a thump. He just shook his head ruefully at Kurt. “It was pretty bad, Kurt.” He ran his big hands through his hair, his motions obviously agitated. 

Stephanie entered and sat on the edge of Kurt’s desk, slamming her armful of paperwork onto the surface beside her. “Really, Nate? You know we find your jokes hilarious around here, but they are not for repeating outside the theatre. And definitely not to the press.” 

Kurt looked between the abashed Nate and the simmering Stephanie. It wasn’t the first time Nate’s comments had reached the press, and taken out of context, sounded awful. He had been warned, and warned again, to let the PR department handle media queries. 

“Can you tell me the joke?” Kurt typed out quickly on his phone. He was too curious now. How bad could one little joke be? 

Shooting a quick glance at Stephanie and getting a glare in return, Nate’s expression was a war between looking abashed and his desire to tell the joke. He was really just a big kid at times. 

He went ahead with telling the joke, but with a much more subdued style than he usually would have used. “Two old ladies are flying on Aeroflot, the Russian airline. The state-of-the art, 4-engined turbofan jet is whisking them to some unknown city. Suddenly, there is a thud. The pilot comes on the intercom. ‘We have lost an engine, but do not panic; this is a well-built aircraft. It will simply take us 30 minutes longer.’ Everyone looks worried, but calms down and the flight goes on. Another thud, and the pilot again ‘We have lost another engine, do not worry, the plane is fine, it will simply take us an hour longer.’ A while later, another thud. ‘We have lost the third engine. We have everything under control, and will be arriving 2.5 hours late.’ At this, one lady tells the other ‘If we lose that other engine, we will be up here all day.’”

Kurt’s eyes crinkled up at the corners, but otherwise he schooled his expression, flicking a glance at the unimpressed Stephanie. “And he told this joke to….?”

“A group of reporters taking in the preview last night. A group that included Katya Sorokina.” Stephanie said, getting off the desk and walking around the office, the frustration radiating off her. 

Kurt’s eyes widened. “Katya Sorokina? From The New York Times? Oh shit…” Nate nodded and shrugged, and Kurt glanced over to Stephanie, and she nodded curtly. 

“Come on, guys. It’s not that bad, really. I was just trying to break the ice a bit with them. The musical is beautiful, but you have to admit that it’s pretty intense. And the joke was at least on the same topic… cold war Russia.” Nate splayed out his big hands beseechingly. 

Stephanie just huffed and spun on her heel, marching out of the office, probably needing a bit of time away from Nate to keep from killing him. They had worked together for years, and Kurt had always been amazed that she was able to keep him in line. He didn’t envy her at all. But she was fantastic in her role of public relations. 

Kurt couldn’t help but smirk a little as he typed on his phone. Nate sometimes missed things, or underplayed the impact. “After all your years in the New York theatre community, surely you’ve heard about her father. He died in the ‘80s in an Aeroflot plane crash. Vasily Sorokin. He was a playwright over there.”

Nate shrugged. “Aeroflot is known for having the most fatalities of any airline. That’s the whole reason for the joke.” 

By now, Stephanie had cooled down enough to come back into the office, sitting back down on the edge of the desk. “The long and the short of it is that Nate made a bad, tasteless joke to one of the most powerful critics. But what’s done is done. It’s damage control now.” 

Grabbing a legal pad of paper and a pen, she wrote on it quickly. “First off, Nate won’t have any future contact with media.” 

“Oh, come on now, Steph.” Nate sat forward. “You can’t expect that. This is the key time to promote the show and ensure good reviews.” 

She nodded. “Exactly! Normally we would put one of the principals out there, promote them, but Tatiana and Peter are too green. Too focused on getting ready for opening night.” It had been a long hunt to cast the roles perfectly, and Nate had taken the risky path of casting unknowns. Kurt thought they were great, but they had enough on their plates without adding promotional duties.

Kurt nodded along. “I wish I could help, but I can hardly ‘talk’ to the press now.” He shrugged.

Stephanie gave him an assessing look. “But I trust your professionalism and experience. You’ve been around the press for years, know how to handle them, get our message across.” 

Sighing, Kurt looked back at her. Sure, he knew the theatre press. Knew how to get them excited about a production. Things he had done in interview after interview over the years.

“Look, we have to be creative with our approach here, Kurt. How about I handle the press at the previews, and you make yourself available for webcam chats with the press, doing interviews that way?” Stephanie was tapping her pen against the paper. 

Nate clapped a hand against Kurt’s shoulder. “Plus, like it or not, you are part of the story here, Kurt. You are back from a long coma, in a different role. You are the most famous person in this production. Former Tony-award winning singer’s directing debut.” 

Shaking his head, Kurt glanced at Nate and then Stephanie. “Hardly. Nate, this is your production. Your baby. I’m just helping you at the eleventh hour.”

Giving him a wide smile, Nate nodded. “I trust you to give credit to our whole team here, Kurt. I think Stephanie’s plan will work. I will concentrate on the production, you handle as many interviews as you can, and she will wrangle the rest with her team. Talk with Melissa about it.”

Still not feeling that good about the plan, Kurt agreed to discuss it with Melissa and get back to them the next day.

\----

“It’s fantastic, Kurt!” Melissa was practically jumping out of her chair in excitement. “This will work for the production, but also launch your new career. Announce to everyone that you are back and capable of taking on so much. We can make this work.” 

Kurt cringed. “I want to help the production, but can’t we do it without making my personal … stuff… such a big part of the story?” He had been in the tabloid and entertainment press for years, and it was even worse when he was with Adam, all their relationship dramas. 

Melissa took the chair right beside his, her look one of a good, long-term friend, not just an agent. “Kurt, everyone is curious about you, about the coma and how you are dealing with losing your voice. If you are going to work in the theatre industry, you will be in the public eye. Why not just go out there and do the interviews now, talk about it all, and at the same time, promote Nate’s show? You like the show, don’t you?” 

“Yes, yes… I’m very proud to be a part of it. It’s incredible.” Kurt nodded along, thinking about what Melissa was saying. 

He knew that the show needed to get a buzz going. A buzz of interest, people talking about the show, excitement and energy around it. It needed to build up to opening night, and if supported by strong reviews, they would continue the media push for a few more weeks after that. Get the momentum going, and then strong sales and word of mouth would carry it along. And then hopefully it was a hit, selling out, the hot new thing and destined for Tony nominations in April, and the award show in June. The month right before and right after opening night made or killed a new show.

This show had the potential to be big. An original setting and story. Beautiful songs. A message about freedom, artistic expression. Things that resonated with what was occurring in society now. The cast was green, but talented and eager to prove themselves. Nate was a skilled director. To have the show not succeed now due to a gap in promotion would be a horrible waste. 

“OK. I’ll do it. Would you mind discussing it with Stephanie, coordinating it with her?” Melissa knew how to manage this. Control the settings, the interview scope and length, who had access, and all the other factors. She wanted Kurt to be launched into his new position well, and for the show to be as successful as possible. 

Nodding, Melissa leaned forward to hug Kurt tightly. She knew this was a big, scary step for him. But the Kurt she had known for over a decade was still here. He could do this, and she would help him any way she could.

\---

"I found the opening of the show very powerful and it really set the tone." Lyle was smiling at Kurt from the laptop screen. 

The show opened with a quote appearing on a large screen, one line at a time. 

**Don't think.  
** **If you think, then don't speak.**  
**If you think and speak, then don't write.**  
**If you think, speak and write, then don't sign.**  
**If you think, speak, write and sign, then don't be surprised.**

Kurt smiled back and typed quickly. It felt familiar to be webcam chatting, but he was very aware that this was all on the record. This was his first official 'interview' about the show. Melissa had thrown him a softball to start. He'd known Lyle for a long time and they got along well. 

"Well, just imagine being a writer, a reporter, under that repressive regime. When government censors reviewed your work before it was published. When the newspapers were all state-owned, controlling the message that went out to the public. When co-workers of yours would just disappear for what they had written. And our main character is trying to get her voice heard in that world."

"Speaking of getting her voice heard, how was it for you working back in the theatre with no voice?" 

Kurt sighed. He knew the personal questions would come, and braced himself. "I'm happy and grateful to be back working in theatre in any capacity. To work with Nate Robinson again is fantastic. He makes such bold choices and doesn't shy away from taking on difficult story lines."

Lyle nodded, typing fast. "But specifically, how do you do the work without being able to speak?"

 _Shit._ Kurt couldn't sidestep the more direct question. "I have a phone app, and I basically type what I want to say and it reads it out loud for me. It doesn't seem to be much of a hindrance. I'm thankful that I wasn't more seriously injured in the car accident."

"Is it true Adam Crawford has not seen you since you came out of your coma?" Lyle's questions were coming faster now, wanting to fluster Kurt and have him say something he shouldn't have, reveal too much. 

Kurt shrugged. "He is just a friend now, living back in London. We have communicated this way many times and remain on good terms."

"How do you feel about him being seen out with James Wallis, the tennis pro?" The story had come up a few times over the summer, and there were a few candid shots of them by the press where the two men seemed caught up in each other, standing close. Enough for speculation to blow up in the tabloids. 

Biting his lip, Kurt looked down, trying to think of how to answer. The truth was, it had felt strange to see those pictures. A flare of jealousy had sprung up like a knee-jerk reflex. They had been in a relationship for years, and it had only been a few months since he had woken up. Adam had an extra year to process that they were over. It still felt new to Kurt. 

"Sorry for Adam, actually. I bet he hasn't won a tennis game in ages if he's playing against James." Kurt typed and grinned into the webcam. He was tempted to add a winky emoticon, but remembered this was an interview. "But seriously, I wish Adam the best and want him to be happy."

Kurt was relieved when the interview ended soon after that. Overall, it had gone OK, and he was thankful Melissa was scheduling them in a way so he get back in practice and have his answers flowing easier.

The Adam question threw him a little, and he pulled his tablet out of his bag and searched his name. He had seen some pictures ages ago in passing, but hadn't been following it. But if it was going to be coming up in interviews, he better know what was going on. 

Picture after picture had them together at the big parties, the club openings, at Wimbledon. Mostly just standing or sitting close to each other, talking. Posing for the camera. But a few caught Adam's expression as he looked over at James, and Kurt felt a pang in his heart. He knew that look. It was a look that took Kurt's breath away when it was directed his way. Amusement, connection, warmth. A look that said without words that there were real feelings between them.

Sighing, Kurt put down the tablet, feeling a bit unsettled by the images. He didn't regret the past, or want it back. But he missed the connection. Being in a relationship. Last time he had gotten close to almost getting it again was with Blaine. But Blaine had left, wanting to just be friends, clearly not happy with whatever they had. 

\---

 

"Seven fucking days until opening night, and the lighting is still slow after ' _Hearts Stumble'._ " Nate growled to Kurt, from their seats in the twentieth row of the theatre. 

Nodding, Kurt made a note on his phone to run through it a few times with the crew. The list of other tweaks was long, but they were getting to be subtle, smaller details. Things likely only Nate would notice, but his perfectionist tendencies towards his work are what made it indefinably wonderful. His touch was on every part of the production. 

Most things Kurt agreed with, and made sure the changes happened. But he argued back on the notes he didn't agree with, and often Nate nodded, conceding to Kurt's view. It was a good partnership. Nate respected Kurt's experience. Kurt respected Nate's teaching as a director. 

"Kurt, there is somebody in your office." A young male page interrupted them, rushing off before giving details. 

Raising his eyebrows, Kurt just got up. "Probably some press wanting some photos for their piece." 

Nate nodded, turning back to the stage. This afternoon, they were rehearsing some scenes, trying to make them flow a bit better. Another preview performance would run tonight.

Kurt ran up the back narrow stairs and through the twisty halls to his office. He was lucky enough to have status to score the tiny office, a space with just an old sofa and a desk. And best of all...a door he could close when he needed a minute away from the intensity of the big production. To jump in weeks before it was to open was like jumping into the deep end of a pool. Sink or swim. 

His office was partially open, and he could see someone standing inside, facing towards the small window. 

Stepping in, Kurt's generic smile of greeting froze on his face. The man turned, the sunlight hitting the side of his face and lighting up his blond hair. His smile was wide and his blue eyes crinkled up on seeing Kurt.

With a chuckle, he walked quickly over to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him tightly. "Kurt! It's fantastic to see you!" His voice was a low rumble in Kurt's ear, his British accent evident in even the simple sentence.

That voice, feeling his tall, muscular body against him, the smell of his spicy, delicious cologne, the suddenness of it all...Kurt could only hug him back, burying his face against the solid warmth of his shoulder. He still fit in Adam's arms the old way, comfortable, right. Home. And he felt embarrassed to feel the wetness of a tear against his cheek.

 _Shit._ Kurt pulled back, giving Adam an apologetic smile and rushed over to the desk, hands trembling as he grabbed some tissues to wipe at his eyes and blow his nose. Taking a second to breathe and gather himself, Kurt grabbed his tablet and turned back to sit on the edge of the desk, looking over at Adam.

"Adam, I'm so surprised to see you." Kurt managed to type, feeling awkward at using the device in front of Adam, not wanting to see the flash of pity and understanding in his eyes. But this was Kurt's reality now. 

Adam sauntered over to the desk slowly, his eyes looking Kurt over thoroughly. And Kurt was looking back, relearning him, looking for the differences. Adam was still as good-looking as ever, his skin lightly tanned, his muscular chest filling out his red Henley tee. 

Sitting on the edge of the desk beside Kurt, Adam smiled and nudged his shoulder. "So, this is how you talk now. Show me. Say something."

Kurt gave him a laughing glance. As if he wouldn't be asking Adam a hundred questions. He wasn't getting away until Kurt's curiosity was satisfied. "What are you doing here?" Start with the obvious first.

Adam's eyes had been following Kurt's fingers as he tapped the question out, and he shared a look with Kurt, looking impressed. Kurt smiled, reminding himself to send another thank you message to Sam. It was always rewarding when old friends found the app sounded like old Kurt. 

Putting his hands on the desk behind them, Adam leaned back. "New project. Rounding up some American financing. I'll probably be here a few weeks."

Looking him over assessingly, Kurt nodded. Adam was on the board of a few businesses, and doing things like that wasn't uncommon. "Staying at the Plaza?" It was Adam's preference. Elegant, centrally located, incredible service. Everything done to the levels he expected. 

Adam grinned at Kurt, and Kurt felt a surge of warmth at seeing it. His eyes were drawn down to Adam's full lips, that wide, easy smile. "You know me so well. And that's why I'm here, Kurt. It would be nice to catch up, spend some time together. It would be good to be around someone familiar after working all day with hard-nosed yanks, trying to loosen up the death grip they have on their wallets." 

Returning his grin, Kurt got off the desk. "Maybe I could squeeze in a quick lunch or something. We open in a week. You remember how nuts everything is at that time of a production." 

Adam had been by Kurt's side so many times during the years, making sure Kurt's life stayed on track when he was working long hours at the theatre and running to promotional events together. Knew the schedule was the most intense in the few weeks right before and after the opening. 

"I've been hearing the buzz and read some of your interviews. Perhaps you could sneak me an opening night ticket? I'll hide in the back, away from Nate's disapproving glares." Adam was perfectly aware of Nate's dislike of him and shrugged it off. You couldn't get everyone to like you. 

Kurt returned his smile. It would be weird to not have Adam at one of his opening nights. He'd been at every one of them, for years. The perfect partner, supportive, dressed handsomely for the cameras, passing Kurt a bottle of water when he was in the middle of a long interview. In those times, Adam truly shined.

"I'll see what I can do." Kurt smiled back, not promising anything. He was still reeling from seeing Adam here. 

\---

Kurt ran his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes. He had hardly slept last night, his thoughts such a whirl. Being already exhausted from the demands of the play, it was really hard to focus today. Despite drinking three coffees already. 

"Think of the advantages, Kurt. This could really work." Melissa cajoled, sipping her mojito. 

Pushing away his half-eaten lunch, Kurt looked over at his agent. "So, I just ask my ex to be my date on opening night and see if he'll come to other events too? The press will go nuts for it, sure, but won't it distract from the show?" 

Melissa nodded, looking excited at the plan. When Kurt had told her that Adam was back and asking to come to opening night, he never thought she'd run with it like this. "The reviews of the show will be out by the morning after opening night. If you and Adam go out to events for a few weeks, it will get covered by tabloids and entertainment press, and every time they speculate about you and rehash your history, they will mention your new show. Get the name out there, get it talked about." 

Kurt just shook his head slowly. The idea of doing this to draw media attention that he had avoided for so long...it just felt so strange, foreign. "And if they ask me about the show, do I use the tablet to answer?" 

Shrugging, Melissa sipped her drink as she considered it. "Perhaps it would be best if Adam did the talking, and if the show comes up, he could just mention how great the reviews are and that he's proud of you. The entertainment TV shows aren't going to want more than a few quick sound bites." 

Excusing himself to go to the washroom, Kurt thought it over. It would get the show mentioned a lot, help create buzz around it. Speculation about Adam and Kurt would be juicy news, and covered widely. In a month, hopefully the show would be well launched and heading along on its own strength. Kurt would be 'launched' as well, in the public eye as recovered and thriving in his new role as associate director. He wouldn't be seen as a victim of a horrible accident, but as a scrappy survivor who was still involved in the theatre world in a big, successful show. And being seen with Adam again would show he was attractive enough, recovered enough, to get Adam back. Even if it was a sham. 

What would to downside be? It would be stressful and tiring to work at the theatre and attend big parties for those weeks. But they would just have to make an appearance and could slip away after an hour. Maybe leaving early together would even feed speculation that they needed to get some privacy, needed to get to the nearest bed. Kurt chuckled at the thought. They had been like that the first few months, so eager, but it had faded into just a satisfying part of their relationship over time. 

What about Adam and James Wallis? Would being reported on out with Kurt screw things up between them, even if Adam explained it to him? And what about Blaine? Kurt sighed, looking at his tired reflection in the mirror. Would Blaine even care? 

Kurt thought back to how Blaine had reacted to being in those zoo pictures with Kurt. So concerned about being labelled as Kurt's boyfriend in the press. Funny how Kurt was considering asking Adam to do exactly that, and knew Adam wouldn't lose a second's sleep over it. He'd been in the news often over the years and knew how fast stories came and went, hardly lingering in the collective consciousness. 

Heading back to the table, Kurt knew what his answer to Melissa's plan would be. Yes. As long as Adam agreed to it, they could manage going out a few times a week for the next month. They had lunch a few days ago, and had got along well as friends. And Adam enjoyed going to high profile parties, being at Kurt's side. 

\--- 

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	18. Chapter 18

"Yeah, and I just love the part when they throw a pebble at that first zombie, and when she turns around they say 'Oh, my God! She's so drunk!'" Kurt smiled at Carl, chuckling together. 

Carl looked over, seeing his wife giving him a beckoning motion. "Oh, I better go. But I meant what I said earlier. _Red Star_ was fantastic and I've been recommending it to everyone." He clapped a hand against Kurt's shoulder before nodding at them both and joining his wife.

Adam had just returned from the bar and passed a glass of wine to Kurt, taking a sip of his own. He smiled down at him. "Were you just discussing 'Shaun of the Dead' with that guy? I didn't think you had ever seen it." 

Shrugging, Kurt looked up at Adam's light blue eyes. "I watched it a couple months ago with Blaine." At Adam's questioning glance, Kurt continued. "You know, that guy who helped me out while I was recovering." 

Adam looked a bit surprised. "I knew you had people helping you, but I didn't think you were hanging out, watching comedies with them."

Looking around the party, Kurt took a sip of his wine as he tried to think of an answer. _Yeah, and that's not all Blaine and I did together._ Images of all those times in bed with him, stretched out naked and moaning under Kurt's touch, flashed into his mind. "He was more of a friend, keeping me company."

Adam's eyes searched Kurt's, sensing that he was holding something back. "Is Blaine a nurse?"

"No, he's a musician." Kurt replied, not really sure why he gave that answer. Did he not want to admit that Blaine was the professional organizer Adam's staff had hired to handle to moving in? 

He could tell Adam was still a bit curious about Blaine, but he didn't want to go into it. "Do you want to go soon? I need to be at the theatre for the matinee tomorrow."

Adam nodded and when they finished their drinks, they made their goodbyes and left. 

In the cab, Adam was strangely quiet, looking over at Kurt. They pulled up in front of his hotel. "Want to come in for a bit?" Adam asked.

Kurt was surprised at the question. They had been going out to promotional events for almost three weeks now, and it had been friendly. Comfortable. He had enjoyed Adam's company, and felt relieved that they didn't seem to have hard feelings about their past. 

When interacting with the press, and posing for pictures on the red carpets, Adam was a little more attentive, stepping closer to wrap an arm around Kurt's waist or hold his hand. They shared longer looks and little smiles. But they never said they were back together; just let their body language imply things. 

If asked directly about their relationship, like "Are you two back together?" Adam would just wink, pulling Kurt closer, and deflect it with a question. "Hmmm...what does it look like?"

But Adam knew they were just playing things up for the press, didn't he? Kurt bit his lip as he gazed back at Adam. 

Adam shifted closer, turning to face Kurt. He leaned in, looking into his eyes, and then flicking his gaze down to Kurt's lips. 

Kurt hardly dared to take a breath, Adam so close and looking at him that way. Was he going to kiss him? Did Kurt want him to? 

But then Adam was pulling back, his hand on the door handle and pushing it open. A draft of cool autumn air blew into the warm cab, making Kurt's skin prickle. 

"Never mind, Kurt. It's late. See you in a couple days." Adam mumbled as he got out and shut the door.

Kurt gave his address to the cabbie and sighed as he leaned back against the seat. What would have happened if he went into the hotel with Adam? 

They had gotten into a pattern. Several times a week, Adam would come to the theatre as the show was ending, waiting in Kurt's office. When Kurt was done work, he would freshen up, change into a nice suit, and they would go out to whatever Melissa had scheduled. A few pictures taken, here, there, everywhere, it seemed. An hour or two later, Kurt dropped him off at the hotel and headed home. He had readjusted to theatre hours, staying up until around 2 am and getting up at 10 am. It kept his energy level best for the evening shows. 

Kurt sighed as he opened his apartment door and turned on the lights. It was after midnight. There was a chance Adam had asked him up for a drink and to talk, but he doubted it. That really left only one other option. 

After Kurt hung up his clothes, he walked over to the bathroom, and filled up the large tub with bubbles and the hottest water he could take. Putting on some Sarah Slean, he lit a few candles and turned the other lights out. 

The hot water and good music soothed him, relaxing every muscle. The long hours at the theatre were pretty exhausting at times, and then having to go to events afterwards, being 'on' for the press and the people they ran in to. And now wondering about Adam. 

Closing his eyes, Kurt sunk deeper into the hot water and let his thoughts wander. Imagined nodding to Adam and holding hands as they went into the hotel. Gazing at each other as the elevator took them up to his floor. Being alone together in his room, the door shutting behind them with a faint click. The awareness between them growing with each second. 

Adam smiling slowly as he stepped closer, pushing Kurt up against the wall as he lowered his mouth, brushing his lips lightly, teasingly, over Kurt's. The kiss deepening, getting hungry. Kurt's arms wrapping around his back to pull him closer. Adam's hands on Kurt's hips, digging in as he rocked into Kurt. 

It would have been good. Satisfying. Old lovers who knew each other's bodies so well. And it was tempting, knowing what Adam was offering. Knowing how good he looked naked, all golden skin, long legs, and toned muscles. Gorgeous, sexy and confident. Knowing what a generous and passionate lover he was. 

And Kurt felt lonely. Missed being held, kissed and touched. Missed cuddling in bed or on the sofa, watching movies. Joking around, cooking together, walking in the park. 

Most of that wasn't Adam though. They hadn't done most of that stuff for ages, except for occasional nights of sex, almost using each other for a release. They hadn't been emotionally intimate in a long time.

 _Oh fuck, it was Blaine._ It was Blaine he was missing. He was the one who cuddled on the sofa and cooked with Kurt. Just doing those ordinary day-to-day things. In their short few weeks together, Kurt had seen how good it could be, just sharing each other's lives. 

Nate had seen Blaine and Sam at Opening Night. Kurt regretted not seeing him then. Just wanting to look into his eyes, and see if he had any feelings anymore for Kurt. Plus, seeing Blaine in a suit... Kurt could imagine how good he would look, all cleaned up. He'd only seen him in jeans and casual clothes. 

Getting out of the tub and drying off, Kurt was soon naked, under the covers. A different fantasy was running in Kurt's mind as he put lube in his hand and laid back. Picturing Blaine in a suit. Bringing him back to the apartment, stripping him slowly. Beautiful, responsive, perfect. Those large hazel eyes heating up as he dug his hand into his curly dark hair and dragged his mouth down for a hot kiss.

\---

 

Smiling as Tatiana exited at Stage Right, Kurt brushed a tear away from his eye. Her solo was so full of want, yearning. Just raw emotion. It got to him every night. 

"Really, again?" She gave him a small, pleased smile. When they had first met, she had been a little shy at being around him, a little intimidated. But he had made her comfortable and given her many tips. They had grown close. 

Shrugging, he waved her back on stage when it was her turn to take a bow. 

The reviews had been very good from the start, except the one from the New York Times. Missing a good review from Katya had impacted them for a while, and they were just now overcoming it, seeing the house sell out most nights. Word of mouth was helping them get the attention they deserved. Nate and Stephanie were pleased, and were very grateful for Kurt's hard work in promoting it. 

As the cast filed off the stage, Tatiana skipped over to his side. "Kurt, you must come to my place tonight. There will be about ten people coming and I have cooked up some of my mother's best recipes." 

Kurt gave her a small hug. "I wish I could. Your cooking is fantastic. But I already have plans."

She nodded knowingly, a teasing glint in her eye. "Hmmm yes, I can see how spending time with that tall blond man is more tempting than homemade pierogies."

Kurt just gave her a wink and let her think he had a hot date planned. Fact was, he would have preferred hanging out with this group from the show, eating her good food. Adam was a friend, and good to be around, but things had felt more tense between them since the night he'd invited Kurt into the hotel. Once said, it couldn't just be taken back. Erased. 

Going up to his office, he waved hello at Adam sitting on his sofa, playing on Kurt's tablet. Opening a bottle of water, Kurt sat down at his desk, switched off the airplane mode setting on his phone, and watched as the device loaded his email. He had learned early on that it was best to leave the device he used to talk with unconnected most of the time, not wanting to be interrupted by pop-up windows and other notifications as he was working. During his breaks, he would check for emails and text messages, catch up on everything.

Adam was used to his routine and knew Kurt needed this time to wind down after shows. He kept playing his game on the tablet, letting out the occasional soft swears at the gameplay. 

After doing a few quick replies, Kurt left the rest of the emails to handle later and took his suit to the washroom to freshen up and change. 

"OK, I'm ready now." Kurt entered the office and Adam smiled appreciatively as he looked Kurt over, and whistled softly. 

Adam sauntered over, looking good himself in a designer suit, perfectly tailored to his tall frame. "You seem even more dressed up than usual. Where are we heading tonight?" 

"It's a fundraiser with a lot of Vogue people." Kurt was glad he had kept up his connections with them over the years. It wasn't something he would have taken Adam to in the past, but it would be well covered by the press, so worth it tonight. 

They were fashionably late, showing up after eleven, and the crowd was drinking steadily. Getting some drinks, they wandered around, greeting people as they went. 

"Kurt Hummel, as I live and breathe." Isabelle swung her arms around Kurt enthusiastically. 

He squeezed the petite woman back just as hard, admiring her bold striped gown. 

Isabelle let him go, and looked over at Adam, her gaze thorough and quite appreciative. "And you must be Adam Crawford. I've seen many pictures of you boys everywhere lately."

Kurt typed quickly. "Yes, promoting the new show." 

"Yes, and everyone is raving about it. I have my tickets for three weeks from now." Isabelle smiled at him warmly. 

"Oh, message me the date and I'll take you to dinner beforehand." Kurt promised, glad they had kept their friendship alive all these years. She was someone he needed to hang out with more often. 

Isabelle pouted. "Just you? Won't your lovely Adam join us?" 

"Unfortunately no, I'm heading back to London in a few days." Adam smiled regretfully. He turned to Kurt. "I'll get us some drinks. Be right back."

Stepping closer, Isabelle spoke softly to Kurt. "He's gorgeous, but I'm not sensing a strong connection between you. The media is saying you two are hot and heavy, back together."

Kurt shrugged. "He's an old boyfriend, just doing me a favor and being my plus-one at all these events. He was already in town for business, so it's worked out pretty well."

"So, are you going to have a big fight in public, make a big break-up scene before he goes?" Isabelle smirked. 

Kurt chuckled at the idea. "It would be pretty hard to yell at him using my voice app." 

Adam returned, carrying a small tray of drinks. "The line was big so I got a couple rounds. Isabelle, I wasn't sure what you drank, so I hope champagne will be OK." 

"Very OK!" Isabelle gushed, and gave Adam a small hug. Kurt smirked at her and wondered how many she had already had. 

Kurt was sipping on his second drink when Isabelle tugged on his hand. "Come on, let's go dance." 

Glancing over at Adam, he waved them towards the dance floor, smiling. 

Sipping the rest of his drink down, Kurt followed Isabelle and jumped into the dancing crowd. The two drinks were really hitting him, reminding him that his tolerance level was still low. But he had enough to feel relaxed and boneless, letting go and just dancing hard. 

\---

Stepping off the dance floor a few songs later, Isabelle hugged him and went off to talk to other people. He found Adam at the bar, and he pushed another vodka tonic his way. Kurt drank it quickly, feeling thirsty.

Adam wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, his voice for Kurt's ears only. "Come on, Kurt. Come dance with me." 

Kurt nodded, letting Adam guide him to the dance floor. They had both shed their suit jackets, loosened their ties, and rolled up their sleeves earlier in the evening. It was still hot, dancing pressed up like that, Adam moving right behind him. But Kurt wasn't moving away. 

"Fuck, you look good like this, Kurt." Adam whispered in his ear, brushing up against him. 

The words tingled along Kurt's skin, and he pressed back, grinding his ass against Adam. It was good to just let loose like this, move to the music, feel the hands of an attractive man on his waist, and his lips on his neck. Was Adam kissing his neck? In those spots he knew Kurt couldn't resist? 

Kurt turned in his arms, looking up at his intense blue eyes. Definite need and want were there. And he didn't move away as Adam lowered his mouth, capturing Kurt's in a kiss that was hot and intense right away. They were both breathless when the kiss ended, and Kurt looked down at Adam's lips, wet and tempting. 

"Come back with me, Kurt. Just one night together before I go back to London." His voice was rough, the accent and tone sending a shiver down into Kurt. 

Maybe he wasn't thinking straight. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was just pure lust and an available, attractive man. Maybe it was not wanting to spend another night alone in his bed. Maybe it was deeper feelings for Adam that had been rekindled by being together so much... 

Whatever the reason, Kurt wasn't quite sure. But he still nodded Yes. 

Grinning broadly, Adam gathered up their suit jackets and was tugging him towards the door in a flash. Kurt saw Isabelle as he was swept along, and she gave him a little wave. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	19. Chapter 19

“Come on, pick anything from the menu. My treat.” Sam nudged Blaine’s shoulder.

Blaine looked over at Sam, and sighed at seeing the concerned expression on his face. Obviously, his bad mood was putting a pall over everything and he was tired of it. So tired of it. He just wanted to move on. Put it behind him. “OK, get me the biggest Chai Latte they have.”

Sam nodded, and Blaine turned to find them a place to sit in the busy café. The weather had taken a sudden dip, the first real cold snap hinting that winter was only a few weeks from really starting. As a result, the café was packed full of people clutching hot beverages in their cold hands.

“Blaine.” A voice nearby called out.

Turning towards the voice, Blaine smiled to see Hannah sitting at a corner table on her own. “Hannah, good to see you.”

“You too.” Hannah gathered up the papers spread across the table. “The café is full. Why don’t you join me?”

Blaine turned to see Sam approaching, carrying their drinks, and he took his latte from him. “Thanks, Hannah. Do you remember Sam?” They probably hadn’t seen each other since the summer.

“Of course.” Hannah smiled at Sam as she packed away her paperwork into a messenger bag, and waved at the empty chairs for them to sit down. “What brings you two to this part of the city?”

“I live near here now.” Sam took a sip of his coffee. “My roommate had a couple of loud friends over, so Blaine and I decided to get out to be able to talk without shouting.” His easy smile had Hannah returning it.

Hannah looked between the two men. “Oh, did you two have something you needed to discuss? Am I going to be in the way?”

Reaching over, Sam touched Hannah’s arm lightly. “Actually, you might be able to help my side of this particular discussion.” Blaine shot him a warning look that made Sam grin in return. “Blaine is still hung up on Kurt. I’m trying to get him to date someone else, anyone else.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to discuss this with anyone. No offense, Hannah.”

“Come on, man. Admit that you are still a bit messed up from Kurt. It’s the first step. And then you can start moving on.” Sam leveled a steady look at Blaine.

Shooting an apologetic look at Hannah, Blaine turned to his friend. “It’s not like that, Sam. So, I had a short, summer fling. And now he’s back with his old boyfriend. So what? He never promised me anything.”

Sam shook his head. “It was more than that, and you know it. You two were close friends, living together, hanging out together every day. And it grew into more over time. To go from that to no contact at all… it’s pretty harsh, man.”

“Well, to put my two cents in,” Hannah smiled as she looked at both men, “I was around Kurt a lot as well. I was there every weekday, Monday to Friday, for weeks. Kurt and I got to be close friends too. And he’s not contacting me either.” She shrugged.

Blaine gave her a considering glance. “So, do you think it’s just how Kurt is? Acts like he’s a good friend when you’re around, and doesn’t keep up the act when you aren’t?”

Swirling the cooling coffee in her large mug, Hannah paused while she thought. “I don’t think it’s an act. I think Kurt is a moment-to-moment kind of guy. He adapts to the current situation, whatever it is, and that becomes his whole focus. He gets so wrapped up in the present, so focused on it, that everything else falls away. When he was first getting in touch with all those old acquaintances, I asked him why he’d lost touch with them. He just shrugged. We got talking about it and he found it hard to maintain his friendships because of his work schedule. Long days of rehearsals, then the shows, the publicity, going to events to be seen. It was grueling and he did it for years.”

Taking a sip of his drink, Blaine thought about Hannah’s points. To be a performer at the top level, Kurt had eight shows a week, had to keep in shape physically. Attend publicity events and interviews. Keep up his image. Attend parties for the producers. Meet with people for upcoming shows.

“Well, either he’s a phony just acting like he cares about people, or he does care and he’s bad at maintaining relationships. Either way, not really someone who is good to be in a relationship with.” Sam rested a hand on Blaine’s shoulder briefly.

Blaine scoffed. “Why are we even bothering to discuss this? He’s not trying to have a relationship with me, not even a friendship. He’s back with Adam.”

Moving her chair a bit closer to Blaine’s, Hannah put her arm around his shoulder. “Because both Sam and I can tell you are still really upset over it. I saw a hint of it when I saw you at the theatre on opening night, and I can see it now. It’s like your confidence has been really shaken by it all.”

Sam nodded at Hannah, glad that she was saying what he’d been thinking. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Blaine. You were a good friend for him, were there helping him when he needed it, giving him comfort and friendship.”

Grabbing a napkin from the table, Blaine swiped at his eyes and blew his nose. _Fuck._ He hated being like this. “But I’m the one who left. He asked me to stay, and I still left.”

“He was taking you for granted, Blaine. Did he ever apologize for working late, that last month? Did he even think of you, waiting around his apartment for him?” Sam moved forward on his chair, holding Blaine’s gaze until he shook his head.

Hannah gave Blaine a squeeze. “Now I feel bad for encouraging your relationship with Kurt. I got you involved in all this.”

Shaking his head again, Blaine pulled away, straightening up in his chair. “No, Hannah. I don’t regret anything. I’m glad I was there to help Kurt when he needed me. I’m glad I got to know him, and for the relationship we had. He’s really an incredible person, but in the end, we aren’t right for each other. And that’s OK. It’s life. I’ve got to accept it and move on.”

Slapping Blaine’s shoulder, Sam grinned at him. “I’m so glad so hear that. There’s this guy who came onto me at the gym who I think would be perfect for you.”

Laughing, Blaine gathered up their empty cups. “Oh god, no thanks! A guy who is into tall, blond guys won’t give me a second look. I don’t need another blow to my ego.”

“I showed him your picture, and he was quite impressed. Come on, just meet him for coffee and see if you click.” Sam stood up, putting his coat on.

Just shaking his head at Sam’s suggestion, Blaine gave Hannah a hug. “I’m so glad we ran into you today. We should pick a night to try out that Moroccan restaurant you mentioned sometime soon.”

Hannah returned the hug enthusiastically. “I think you should go for that coffee with the new guy.” Her whisper was for Blaine’s ear only. Pulling back, she nodded. “Sure, Blaine. I’ll text you in a couple days. Sam, feel free to join us if you want.”

Returning her smile, Sam shook his head. “I tried Moroccan once, and was covered with cous cous by the end of the meal. Not a pretty sight.”

\----

Blaine sat down in the park bench, pulling his lunch bag out of his knapsack. It was a gorgeous fall day, with the leaves just starting to get tinges of red and gold.

After finishing the meal, he tilted his head back against the back of the bench, letting the mild sun warm his skin.

A few minutes later, he heard the rustle of someone near and the bench dipping slightly with someone's weight.

Opening his eyes, Blaine looked over lazily, and then sat up in shock. "Kurt! What the hell!"

Kurt was grinning down at Blaine, his blue eyes showing his happiness. "Blaine Anderson. Long time, no see."

Blaine nodded, simply taking in the sight of Kurt. He looked good in tweed pants and a thick burgundy cardigan. "How are things going, Kurt?"

Kurt was as fast as ever on his phone. "The show is still having strong ticket sales, so Nate and I are quite pleased. We are considering what to do next."

"Good to hear you are still working together. He's a great guy." Blaine nodded, a little surprised that Nate was getting along with Kurt, since they had fought about Adam before. But maybe being older, they had handled it better.

"How's Sam lately?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shrugged. "OK. He found a new place to stay, and he's working a lot."

Kurt gave him a considering look and then typed. "It must feel weird to be living alone again. I know it took a while to adjust to it."

His comment surprised Blaine. Did he mean not living with Adam? Or not living with Blaine?

"How's Adam doing?" Blaine wasn't going to pussyfoot around the topic.

Kurt looked a bit surprised. "Oh, he's back in England, pretty busy with some big project." His eyes dipped.

It made sense. Blaine had given up tracking their relationship on the internet lately, but he hadn't even seen pictures of them together in passing. Maybe that was what Kurt had meant in his email before. Now that they were more serious, they were probably keeping it out of the media. Adam discretely flying in for visits as Kurt's busy schedule allowed. 

Blaine felt bad for Kurt. It must be hard having a long distance relationship. Kurt couldn't be away from New York much unless he was between shows, and Adam's business was mostly run from London. How had they handled it all these years? Blaine knew long distance relationships wouldn't work for him.

Getting up, Blaine gave Kurt a little smile. "Well, I better get back to work. It was good seeing you."

Kurt stood up too, his fluid movements showing he was even stronger than before. He reached out to touch Blaine's sleeve. "Blaine... Could we go for lunch sometime maybe?"

Looking back at Kurt, Blaine wondered what Kurt wanted. Maybe now that things were more secure with Adam, it was OK for Kurt to have male friends again. Maybe Kurt was a bit lonely from Adam being away so much. Did he want this? To be around Kurt again as friends?

"Um...sure, Kurt." Blaine wasn't sure how he felt about it, but having lunch wouldn't hurt. "I'm working on a project near your apartment, actually, for the next few weeks. So, let me know of a place."

\---

"Really? Fight Club is your favorite movie?" Kurt shook his head in disbelief. "Because of Brad Pitt?"

Blaine chuckled as he filled his fajita with grilled chicken and guacamole. "Everyone has weird ideas about that movie. It's not about fighting or violence. Or how amazing Brad Pitt looks with his shirt off. It's about materialism."

Kurt gave him a funny look as he ate some spicy rice and beans. "Materialism."

Finishing off his wrap, Blaine wiped his mouth and fingers with a napkin. Tasty but messy, those fajitas. "Yeah, the main character has his apartment blow up and goes to live in a condemned house. And Tyler Durden is saying stuff like _'Things you own, end up owning you.'"_

 _"'Fuck Martha Stewart.'"_ Kurt chimed in, smirking a little when Blaine nodded back.

"Yeah, that was a line in the show." Blaine took a long sip of his vodka tonic. He smiled as the server took their empty plates away.

It was the second time they had met up for lunch, and it was good to see how comfortable they were talking. It felt like old times, and Blaine was happy to have his friendship back with Kurt.

Kurt grinned as he typed. "So, you don't like 'stuff'?" He waved to the server and made a signal for another round.

Thinking for a minute, Blaine decided to tell Kurt some things about his past. Things he didn't talk about too often. "I guess it started with moving to New York. You couldn't take much with you, as apartments here are so small and expensive. I usually had roommates and a small bedroom of my own. You had to be selective about what you bought, what you kept. If you didn't use it, you got rid of it."

Kurt nodded, sipping his margarita, encouraging Blaine to continue.

"And then I travelled with different bands on tour. All you take along is your instrument and a duffle bag. I couldn't afford to keep the room while I toured, so I got rid of most of my stuff and stored a box or two with friends." Blaine shrugged.

"So, you were homeless and poor, is that what you're saying?" Kurt smirked, letting Blaine know he was joking.

Blaine shrugged. "I kinda was. But you know what? It was kind of freeing. I was travellin' light, as the old saying goes. It was easy to go anywhere, do anything. Plus, I didn't have much stuff with me worth stealing, so I could crash on a stranger's couch without worrying about much."

"Except your virtue." Kurt joked.

Blaine scoffed, sipping his drink and feeling pretty mellow. "That got lost somewhere along the way." He glanced Kurt's way, finding him giving an interested look back.

"So, you travelled around like that for a few years?" Kurt typed. Blaine was glad to see Kurt seemed less self-conscious about using his voice app in public now.

Blaine finished his drink, signalling for the bill to the server. "Yeah. Didn't make much money but I travelled all over the states and a few other places. Met tons of interesting people. Played music with incredible artists."

"You sound like you feel about music like I do about theatre. Like it feeds your soul." Kurt tilted his head, looking at Blaine closely. "Do you miss playing music, or travelling around like that?"

Blaine lowered his gaze. "It was good for a time, but I wasn't made for that life. I need things to be more stable." He shrugged. "So, I moved back here and started my own business. It relates back to everything I learned, you know? Helping people get rid of the extra crap in their lives and figure out what they really care about."

Kurt chuckled. "You sorted my closet once. I'm sure you know what I care about!"

Looking over the bill, Blaine waved away Kurt's motion to pay and pulled out some cash. "If you love it and use it, they are good things to hold on to."

"Well, there probably are some old things in there I won't wear again." Kurt shrugged.

Getting up, Blaine put his light jacket on. "Well, you could probably consign it or auction some stuff off, if it's stuff your fans would be into. Give the money to charity." He shrugged.

"Something to consider." Kurt zipped up his coat. "Blaine, would you be free Thursday night? There's an opening I've been invited to and you could be my plus-one."

Blaine stopped and looked over at Kurt. It almost sounded like a date invitation. But then again, Adam was in London and Kurt probably just wanted someone to go with. "Um...OK, I guess so."

"Such enthusiasm!" Kurt nudged Blaine's shoulder playfully.

Blaine just gave a weak smile back. Maybe being around Kurt so much wasn't such a good idea. He was starting to enjoy it far too much.

\---

"You really didn't have to walk me to my door, Kurt." Blaine laughed as Kurt followed him up the stairs to his apartment.

It had been a fun night, going for dinner first and then the show. Kurt had gotten a lot of media attention, and Blaine had been surprised when Kurt had put a hand on his arm to keep Blaine from moving away.

Kurt had introduced him to friends they had run into, never hesitating to use his device to speak. It was just a part of Kurt's life now, and people seemed to accept it.

"It's good to do some stairs after that chocolate mousse." Kurt commented behind Blaine.

Blaine's apartment was small, and Kurt walked around, his gaze curious. "You don't have much stuff, but I like what you do have."

"Um...thanks." It was strange having Kurt here, in his small, simple apartment. His big presence made it feel even smaller.

Kurt sat down in the sofa, and Blaine awkwardly joined him there. Why did this suddenly feel like an end of a date? They were just friends. Kurt had a boyfriend.

"Would you like a drink or something?" Blaine asked, plucking at the fabric of his pant leg nervously.

Moving closer, Kurt typed fast. "Or something." And then he leaned over to kiss Blaine.

Blaine froze under the touch of Kurt's lips for a second, and then they felt so good, so familiar, he sank into the kiss.

Kurt shifted closer, his hands in Blaine's hair, his kisses hot and deep. Hungry.

With a gasp, Blaine tore his mouth away, and then got off the couch. "Kurt, I don't think this is a good idea." He tried to keep his breath steady, but it came out raspy.

Looking back at Kurt, his resolve almost crumbled. Kurt looked so good, his lips swollen, his eyes bright, his clothing mussed up.

But Kurt got up, and nodded slowly at Blaine. And was soon out the door.

\---

**What should I do if an attached guy comes onto me? - B**

It took a few minutes for his brother to reply.

**Just flirting? Or something more...intense? -C**

Blaine sighed, his mind flashing to memories of last night. Those hot, hot kisses. Wanting Kurt so much. Knowing his bed was so close by.

**Intense x 1000 -B**

Cooper must have been waiting for the reply.

**Keep your distance. Keep in public. -C**

Blaine was nodding to his text when another two came.

**Or wait for them to break up. And pounce. - C**

**But then again, if he's a cheater, would you want him? -C**

Sighing, Blaine typed a reply slowly. Cooper had made a good point. 

**Something to think about, for sure. -B**

\---

Blaine laughed at the delivery to his house the next day. It was a cactus with a small card.

**Sorry if I overstepped. -K**

Biting his lip, Blaine looked at the plant. What the hell was he doing? Obviously, he had old feelings about Kurt. And maybe Kurt was lonely and missing Adam. But there was no way he could get involved with Kurt sexually. He knew himself. He would just end up hurt in the end.

**Thanks for the cactus, Kurt. But let's just be friends, OK? -B**

He sent the text, just wanting the air to be clear between them.

**OK. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Want to come by the theatre Tuesday for lunch? -K**

Blaine sighed in relief. That was something they had done together a lot before. Hanging around Kurt's office as cast and crew came in and out, asking questions. It was casual, friendly, public.

**OK, Kurt. See you then. -B**

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-A/N: So, I'm back in Blaine's POV for now & will probably have future chapters in Kurt's POV, as the story needs it. But I won't backtrack & retell the story from the other POV. Thanks for following along with this story so far!! :D


	20. Chapter 20

“Kurt! Are you even listening to me?” 

Jumping slightly, Kurt looked around with wide eyes, meeting Nate’s laughing glance. Shrugging, he tapped on his phone. “Sorry, Nate. Just finding it hard to focus today.” 

Pushing aside the scheduling report, Nate turned to face Kurt fully, looking him over thoroughly. He broke into a wide grin of delight. "Oh, I know that look. You are thinking about your man. You have it bad."

Chuckling, Kurt typed. "Sheesh. Is it that obvious?" He hadn't been sleeping very well lately, ever since seeing Blaine in that park. Going for lunch and to the play opening had just made it worse. Had Blaine always been that funny and interesting? Had his eyes always changed color depending on his mood? And seeing Blaine dressed up in a suit for that play opening had been a bit of a shock. Kurt had a hard time keeping from staring all night. 

"I think it's called being moonstruck. When you are almost dazed by the feelings, and can hardly think of anything else. You just want to be with them constantly." Nate's hands were gesturing as he tried to put the feeling into words. 

Kurt nodded. Yeah, that was pretty much how he felt. "But I've totally screwed it up, Nate."

All the way back to Blaine’s from the theatre, Kurt had wanted to take Blaine’s hand in his, or slip a hand around his waist as they walked. Just to step closer, and been able to inhale his incredible cologne. Wanting to press his lips to Blaine’s neck, right below his ear, in that spot where his skin was smooth and sensitive. Sitting on that sofa together, alone in Blaine’s apartment, his warnings to himself just flew out the window. 

"Screwed it up? How? I know he likes you." Nate said calmly. 

Kurt's shoulders dropped as he typed, feeling a little embarrassed. "I rushed things. I couldn’t resist kissing him the other night, jumping on him like a teenage virgin or something, and he pulled away, said it wasn't a good idea. Said he just wants to be friends. I've scared him off." 

Nate chuckled softly, clapping a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Tilting his head slightly, Nate looked at Kurt consideringly. "Hmmm... Haven't you ever had to chase after someone? Woo them?"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. He thought back on his previous relationships, and realized they had all approached him. Pursued him. He shook his head.

Nate grinned and sat up straighter. "Oh, this will be good. You have been spoiled, always being the star, the one everyone was coveting. You’ll get to see it from the other side. I will teach you, and it will be so much more rewarding when you finally lure him to you." 

Kurt sat forward, his eyes intent on Nate's. At this point, he'd do anything to get back into Blaine's good graces. Not to mention his pants. 

\---

Back in his office later, Kurt laid down on his new sofa, thinking about everything Nate had told him. Could he really do this? It was scary, putting it all out there like that, especially when Blaine had said he only wanted to be friends. He would have to go slow, oh so slow. Just try to spend time together as much as possible, show how much he cared about Blaine through little actions. Hope that Blaine wouldn’t push him away again. 

Picking up his tablet, Kurt googled that word Nate had mentioned. Moonstruck. _Silly, foolish, or crazy especially because you are in love. Love._ Was he in love with Blaine? He was certainly attracted to him, liked him as a friend, and there was definite chemistry between them. But was this something that could be more? 

The warm glow of hope warred with the fear that it was too late. He already had a chance with Blaine in the summer, and had treated him so bad. Could he win Blaine over enough to give him another chance? To see if their feelings could grow into more, into something real and lasting?

\----

Blaine waved at a few of the cast he recognized as he headed up the back stairs to Kurt's office. During the last month he'd been living at Kurt's, he'd stopped occasionally by to make sure Kurt had some real food to eat. It was fun to hang out in the organized chaos of a Broadway show backstage.

Knocking on Kurt's door, he entered. It had been a few months, and Kurt had settled in now. The office looked more his style, with a framed picture of Carole with a bunch of her kids on the wall near a big poster of Audrey Hepburn. The old rickety sofa had been replaced with a newer, plush red one.

"Hey Blaine. Come sit down." Kurt smiled as he sat down on the sofa. He was wearing black skinny jeans, and a long striped sweater, and looked far too good. He took a bottle of wine and expertly opened it, pouring a couple glasses.

Sitting down, Blaine took a sip of the wine, enjoying the light crisp taste. Kurt was pulling things out of an insulated bag, settling them on the coffee table.

"I thought a Thai chicken salad with those thin noodles you like would make a good lunch for us. Is it OK?" Kurt was shaking a jar of homemade dressing.

Blaine looked over the spread of food. It all looked delicious, and a lot of work. "It looks great, Kurt. But you didn't have to go to all this trouble. I just thought we would be ordering some food in."

"No trouble at all." Kurt mixed up the ingredients in a big bowl and transferred some to smaller bowls for each of them.

Blaine took a few bites and then dug in hungrily. "Mmmm...I'd forgotten what a good cook you are."

Kurt looked pleased as he delicately ate his salad with chopsticks. He flicked a bit on his phone and classical music started playing quietly.

Almost done his bowl of noodles, Blaine looked around. The homemade lunch, the wine, Kurt dressed so nicely, the music. This looked like a date. All that was missing was some candles.

"Um...it seems awfully quiet around here today. Aren't there usually people running in and out of here, needing their questions answered?" Blaine looked over at the closed down, willing someone to walk through it. It suddenly felt too quiet, too private. Exactly what Cooper had warned him to avoid. 

Kurt tilted his head considering. "Oh, that was back before the play opened. So many last minute things to work on and decide. But it's been running for months now. Hardly any problems."

Swallowing the last of his food, Blaine took his wine glass and got off the sofa. He wandered around, trying to seem natural. But inside he was screaming. _Get out! Now!_

"I have some news for you Blaine." Kurt was done eating, and sipping his wine.

Blaine looked him over, reclining back in that red sofa, and wanted so bad to crawl on top of him. Kiss him until he was pulling Blaine closer, hot and needy.

"News?" Blaine barely remembered what Kurt had said to answer.

Kurt got off the sofa, practically moving like a cat with his natural grace. He moved closer to Blaine, and then sat on the edge of his desk. "Did you know they are working on making Fight Club into a musical?"

Blaine’s eyes were on Kurt’s mouth, and it took a second for his words to sink in. “Fight Club? Ah, what?” His gaze met Kurt’s, and lowered his brows at seeing the twinkle in Kurt’s eyes. 

“So you haven’t heard about this then? Well, guess who is developing it?” Kurt asked, clearly enjoying Blaine’s distracted state. 

Blaine shrugged. “You? Nate?” He wasn’t thinking straight. Kurt was just a little too close. And they should really open the office door or something. Let in some air. 

Getting off the desk, Kurt walked a few steps away to refill his wine glass, and then turned back towards Blaine, pausing dramatically before hitting the key to speak on his phone. “David Fincher.” 

Having Kurt a little further away was making it a bit easier to think. He was catching up with the conversation now. “David Fincher is making a Fight Club musical? That's incredible. He did such a good job directing the movie." 

Kurt nodded, sipping his wine slowly. “And the other people linked to the project are Trent Reznor and Julie Taymor.” He sunk to the edge of the sofa, crossed one long leg over the other and swaying his booted foot.

Blaine’s eyes grew huge. “Are you fucking kidding me? That is like a dream team for a project like that!” He walked over, dropping onto the sofa near Kurt. “Reznor and Fincher already worked together on some films, and Taymor has been a legend in theatre since Lion King.”

“That’s right. Reznor won an Oscar for his score for The Social Network.” Kurt smiled down at Blaine. 

Shrugging, Blaine filled his wineglass again, feeling a bit more relaxed. “I wonder how long it will be until it’s in production.” He sat back, sipping the wine. 

Kurt shifted to sit beside Blaine, facing towards him. “It’s still being developed, so I would say a year or two, at least.” 

Blaine took a sip of his wine, not really sure what to say next. Usually, conversation between them was never a problem. It just flowed. But sometimes, there were these little gaps, and Blaine became more aware of Kurt, just aware that he was so close again. Within touching distance. 

“Blaine, would you be interested in getting involved with it?” Kurt’s voice drew Blaine back out of his distraction. Interested in getting involved? What? He looked over at Kurt, for a second, until the words sunk in. 

“Involved? You mean in the musical?” Blaine said, giving Kurt a doubting look. 

Kurt smiled and nodded before typing again on his phone. “Between Nate, Melissa and my connections, I’m sure we could find you a way in. Get you a meeting with a decision maker. If you get involved now, as it’s all beginning, you could really have a chance at being a real part of it.” 

Blaine scoffed, just shaking his head. “Kurt! You haven’t even heard me play. And I’ve never worked in theatre. What kind of role could I have?” 

“From what I’ve heard, it’s a rock musical. You are familiar with Nine Inch Nails and know Fight Club inside out. You have a music degree and played with a variety of bands for years, touring all over the place.” Kurt shrugged. “I think you have a lot to offer, and big Broadway musicals need a lot of musicians.”

Blaine put his empty wine glass down on the coffee table. “Well, it intriguing, but I have the business now and everything.” He looked over to Kurt, and kind of lost his train of thought. 

Kurt was bending down, looking for something in the insulated bag. The long line of his back was stretched out, and as Blaine’s eyes skimmed over him, he noticed that the sweater was pulled snugly against his body. His shoulders and arms seemed to have more muscle definition, and Blaine wondered what Kurt would look like now. It was over two months since he had seen him naked. So long. And Blaine was sure Kurt was keeping up with the yoga and probably adding back other exercises. And it was showing. 

Straightening back up, Kurt gave him a little smile as he set a container down on the coffee table. “I made Skor trifle for dessert.” He dished out a little of the dessert into two small bowls and they sat back on the sofa to slowly eat it.

“Mmmmm, this is so good, Kurt.” Blaine said after the first bite. The dessert was chunks of chocolate cake, layered with chocolate pudding and whip cream, and topped with broken up Skor chocolate toffee bar.

Kurt gave him a little pleased smile. “Well, I know you have the business and you are very good at it. But I can sense that you really still care about music and miss it. If you are at all interested in exploring this option, just let me know.” 

And before he knew it, the dessert was done and Kurt was packing all the dishes away. “Thanks for joining me for lunch. It’s nice to be able to hang out with a friend instead of being on my own.” 

_Oh right, friends._ Blaine nodded, and tried to push down his feeling of disappointment as Kurt got off the sofa. It felt like they had hardly any time together at all.

“I better head down to the stage and make sure everything’s ready for the matinee.” Kurt gave Blaine a small smile. “Are we still on for seeing _The Shining_ at midnight on Friday?”

Standing up, Blaine managed to give Kurt an awkward smile in return. “Oh, yeah. Should I just come here to pick you up?” 

Kurt nodded. “Perfect. See you then.”

And he slipped out of the office before Blaine could step closer and what? Give him a hug? A goodbye kiss? Just a friendly goodbye kiss?

He had the feeling he’d be texting Cooper again about this soon. Because being around Kurt like this, just as his friend, was making it far to easy to forget that Kurt was attached. Off limits.

\----

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: The author of Fight Club, Chuck Palahnuik, confirmed in July 2015 that the musical was being developed by David Fincher and Trent Reznor, and Julie Taymor is associated with it.


	21. Chapter 21

“So, my dear, are you missing your British boyfriend?” Isabelle passed over a martini glass to Kurt as she sunk down onto the sofa beside him.

Kurt took a sip of his drink, and smiled at his friend. “Mmmm, this is tasty. I thought it was a Cosmopolitan.” 

She chuckled. “Pomegranate martini. Just something a little different. Now quit avoiding my question.” 

Rolling his eyes, Kurt typed quickly, knowing his old friend wouldn’t stop bugging him unless he gave her a good answer. “He hardly fits that title, Isabelle.” 

Her aqua eyes pinned Kurt’s grey-blue. “Come on, honey. I saw you two dancing at that party. I saw that kiss. I saw him practically dragging you out the door.”

Feeling the heat rush across his skin, Kurt dipped his face, giving it a second to cool. He sighed as he lifted it back up and took a sip of his drink. “That was a moment of insanity. Yes, we left together, but we didn’t stay together very long.” Kurt grimaced at Isabelle.

“Oh really?” Her eyes widened in interest. “Tell me more…” 

It was embarrassing, but over the years, they had shared far worse with each other. “We were heading back to his hotel, making out in the back of the taxi. We had been hanging out together so much, going to so many events, getting along well. And I could see the looks he was giving me sometimes, and I was probably giving them back occasionally. It would be so easy to just get back together…”

“But…” Isabelle prompted.

Kurt shrugged. “His hands were on my lower back, pulling my shirt out of my pants, and then his hand slid over the bare skin above my waistband…and it just didn’t feel right.” 

She waved for him to continue, as she sipped on her drink. 

“Instead of feeling good, making me want more, it just felt… I don’t know. But it pulled me out of it, and I kind of froze. He noticed, and it killed the mood. We ended up at his hotel, and only he got out of the taxi.” Kurt had wanted to apologize, to explain to Adam, but Adam had only given him a bit of a sad look, before he shook his head and left. The next day, he had texted Adam, and they left things on a friendly note, but they didn’t see each other again before he went back to London.

Isabelle reached over and put her hand on Kurt’s arm. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. But didn’t you mention wanting to talk about ‘boy trouble’?”

Refilling their glasses from the pitcher on the coffee table, Kurt thought about what to say. “There's a different guy. His name is Blaine.” And felt his face warm again. 

Nudging his shoulder with her’s, Isabelle gave him an encouraging smile. “Oh really? Only a few months out of a coma, and there are two guys after you? It’s just like old times, when you were such a flirt.” 

Taking a big sip of his drink, Kurt set it down. He’d better pace himself. “Hardly. I’m so rusty at all this. It was just Adam for ages.”

“Tell me about Blaine. Where did you meet him?” Isabelle sat back, crossing her legs and showing off some killer heels.

Kurt chuckled to himself thinking of how they met. “He helped me out when I was recovering, and we became friends. And after Carole left, we got more involved. But then I got busy with the play and …” He sighed, biting his lip.

Shaking her head, Isabelle shifted closer and wrapped her arms around him tight. “Oh sweetie, not again.” Her hands were soothing on his back. She had been there all during his early years of dating. Getting involved with someone, and not being able to balance it with his crazy work schedule. She had been there, helping him pick up the pieces. 

When she pulled back, Kurt’s eyes were very troubled, and he nodded. “I suck so bad at relationships. I always seem to fuck things up. And now, we’ve been hanging out, and I feel so drawn to him. But he only wants to be friends.” 

“So, you were together, it ended, and then you were with Adam, or at least looking like you were with him. Does Blaine know you want to get back together?” Isabelle asked. 

Kurt could feel his face flush again, and typed fast. The sooner the whole things were out, the sooner she would give him advice. Advice that he desperately needed. “After going out a few times casually, I kissed him. That’s when he jumped off the sofa and said he only wanted to be friends.” 

Isabelle shrugged. “Well, maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you anymore. Or maybe he’s miffed that you were with Adam. Or like me, thinks you are still involved with him. A long distance relationship.”

Giving her a considering look, Kurt thought over her answers. He’d seen Blaine give him some long looks, admiring looks, but then he would seem to stop himself. So, there was interest there, but something was not working. 

“But Adam and I never said we were back together. We just went to a bunch of events and let the press take our picture. And he’s been gone for over a month. No mention of us in the press at all for ages. Do you really think Blaine thinks I’m involved with Adam still?” Kurt just shook his head in disbelief.

Isabelle shrugged. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure you tell him very clearly about that situation. Plus, maybe he was pissed to see you all cozy with your ex after being with him not long before that.”

Tossing back the rest of his drink, Kurt sank back on the sofa. _Crap._ Why hadn’t he thought of any of this? Maybe just knowing that they were just promoting the show had blinded Kurt to it. Or maybe he didn’t think Blaine would care anyways. 

“OK, I’ll talk to him about it. But what if it’s just that he’s not interested in me romantically anymore? I had my one and only chance with him in the summer, and fucked it up?” Kurt thought this was far more likely. Blaine had probably seen the media coverage of Kurt with Adam and seen through it right away. “Is there any way I can fix it? Nate says I should ‘woo’ him.”

The drinks were really hitting them both by now, but that didn’t stop Isabelle from pouring them both another one. She giggled. “Woo? Woo, woo, woooooooo…..”

Kurt grinned at her. “You sound like a drunk owl.” His dry comment sent her into a fit of giggles, and Kurt joined in, shaking with his almost silent laughter. It felt good.

Reaching over to a side table, Isabelle grabbed her iPad. “Let’s see what this all knowing machine says.” She googled ‘how to woo a man’, and was giggling hard at the results.

“Come on, I need advice…” Kurt nudged her shoulder. 

Isabelle raised a hand, and looked up from the screen, giving him a laughing glance. She looked back down at the screen, reading aloud. _“Guys love it when you look up at them. It makes them feel ‘manly’. So tilt your chin down, and flash him a couple sultry glances…”_ She followed the instructions, her chin tilted down, and giving Kurt a look with a lot of fluttering eyelashes. 

Copying her, Kurt tried to keep a straight face as they gave their most sultry stares to each other. 

“Stop, stop, you are making me hot!” Isabelle giggled, waving her hand near her face and scrolling back down the iPad screen. _“Kick it up an octave… men are naturally attracted to lilting, high-pitched voices…”_

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Got that already, honey.” His voice app was made from his old voice, and it was pitched high enough. 

“Yeah, and this one is talking about how to get gorgeous, glowing skin…you can check that one off too.” Isabelle grinned at her friend, enjoying the way he blushed a little again at the compliment, his colour already slightly heightened from the booze.

Kurt slapped her arm playfully. “OK, OK, enough telling me stuff I do already. I need to know what else to do.”

Isabelle held up her glass in a toasting manner. “This article also recommends pomegranate juice…. It’s supposed to increase the sex drive. Some study showed that men kissed more passionately after drinking it than the guys who didn’t.”

Setting down his empty glass, Kurt puckered up his lips, moving towards Isabelle. She was giggling and pushing him away, almost spilling the rest of her drink in the process. 

“Kurt! Stop it! This is serious.” Isabelle tried to keep a straight face as she sat up on the sofa and set her drink down, a little giggle still escaping as she went back to the iPad. “Oh, here’s one I dare you to try. _Pre-party with yourself. If you get turned on (or even orgasm) before your date, the signs of arousal, like full lips, pink cheeks and the pheromones you emit when turned on will all work on him in primal ways._ "

Kurt rolled his eyes. “So, I’m going to ‘fly solo’ before he arrives, give him juice, and look at him funny. And this, along with my voice and skin, will send him into a frenzy over me?” 

Setting down the iPad, Isabelle sat back and leaned against him “It was on the Internet. You know it’s always right.” She nudged him with her elbow. “Do you have any pictures of him on your phone? I want to check out this guy who has you in such a tizzy.”

And they cuddled together, looking over the pictures. Isabelle commented lots on his curly hair and big eyes, oohing and ahhing. 

\---

Looking over his tiles, Kurt considered his next move carefully. And then he laid out three tiles with blue symbols on them on the table. 

“OK, four points for you.” Blaine jotted down the score on a pad of paper, and looked at his tiles as Kurt drew more from the drawstring bag. 

Taking a sip of his mocha, Kurt watched Blaine as he was concentrating on his game pieces. It was a safe way to look his fill as Blaine was so occupied, letting his eyes travel over his messy curls, his long dark eyelashes, the fullness of his lower lip. Taking in the well-washed red plaid shirt over a white tee, the material fitted enough for Kurt to be reminded of Blaine’s lightly muscled chest and arms. He looked so good in the soft afternoon light. 

“Kurt, it’s your turn.” Blaine smiled, with a teasing look that sent a flare of awareness through him. 

Pulling his attention back to the game, Kurt looked to see what Blaine had done in his last move. Grinning, Kurt was able to finish a line of squares and get extra points. “Qwirkle.” He typed, and wasn’t surprised when his voice app had to revert to the default voice. He had never said that word before in his life. But it was their first time playing the game. 

Blaine chuckled at hearing the old American accented voice, the one Kurt had used before Sam revamped Kurt’s voice app. “Hearing that voice reminds me of getting to know you back then. Arguing over that murder documentary and trying to convince you to go public about waking up from the coma.” 

“That was such a weird phase of my life. Just working with all the health professionals, seeing if I could regain my strength. Hanging out the Hannah and you so much. Barely leaving the apartment for months.” Kurt just shook his head.

After setting down his next tiles and writing down his score, Blaine waved at the server walking by to refill his coffee. “You’ve had a pretty amazing year. Lots of changes.” His warm brown eyes met Kurt’s, easy and friendly. Crinkling a little in the corners. Adorable.

The board game café was mostly empty on this cool Monday afternoon. Blaine was between projects, and Kurt always had Mondays off, so it seemed like a perfect time to check out the various games on their shelves. 

But Kurt couldn’t relax and just enjoy the time with Blaine. The conversation with Isabelle kept popping into his thoughts. He thought of how to bring it all up, discuss it. 

“Blaine, there’s been something on my mind lately. Something I wanted to make sure we were on the same page on.” Kurt finally typed, just needing to start somewhere.

Blaine’s eyebrows rose, and he leaned back in his chair, his hands cupping his coffee mug. “Sure, Kurt. What is it?”

Looking down at his phone, Kurt paused before he started typing, editing a little before he hit Speak. “It’s about Adam. About when he was here back when the show was opening, and we were doing all that promotional stuff for it…” 

Blaine seemed to still, and the warmth in his eyes faded, becoming a little guarded. He scoffed. “What about it, Kurt? Your message was pretty clear. I’m not an idiot.” 

Kurt nodded in return. See, he was right. Blaine had seen right through their media act and knew it was just promotion for the show. He'd bug Isabelle later. 

"Good, good. And he's back in the UK now anyways." Obviously nothing was going on with a guy in a different country.

Blaine nodded. "Yes. And you are keeping out of the media now."

Kurt lowered his brows in confusion. "Well, it's certainly nothing like before. But if I go out, I'm not avoiding the media or anything." The show was well established, and Kurt had done enough self-promotion for now. 

"Yeah, you didn't seem to shy away from them taking pictures of us together.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt assessingly.

Kurt shook his head. "It didn't bug you, did it?" Blaine’s comment brought up memories of when their zoo pictures had been online, and he hadn’t wanted to be identified in them. Maybe he just wanted to stay out of the spotlight. 

Blaine shook his head, slowly. "No, as long as you are OK with it. Does it bug you to see pictures of Adam with other guys in the press?"

Raising his eyebrows, Kurt shook his head. "No, not at all. He has his life there, I have mine here. He's probably back to going out with that tennis guy again." He shrugged a shoulder, trying to come across as nonchalant. He hadn’t even bothered looking at what Adam was up to these days. And he certainly didn’t want Blaine to get the idea that he was upset that Adam was seeing other men. 

Blaine looked back down at the board game, placing a few red tiles down. He didn’t seem to have any reaction to what Kurt had said at all. Kurt had basically said “Hey! I’m totally available and here if you want me!” But it didn’t seem like Blaine cared. 

Pushing back his chair, Kurt went to the washroom before the tears escaped his eyes. _Fuck. It’s too little, too late. Blaine might have had feelings for me before, but they are gone now._

\---

**I followed your advice and talked to Kurt. -B**

**Really? What did he say? -C**

**I basically repeated his email back to him and he confirmed it all. Adam is back in the UK and they seem to have an open arrangement that they can see other people. -B**

**Woah!!! And he wants you as a bit on the side? -C**

**Well, we didn't talk about that exactly, but he's been really attentive and flirty around me lately. -B**

**I wonder if I can get my wife to agree to something like that. -C**

**Haha… dream on. She'd kill you first. –B**

**I’m still shocked that Broadway’s big star for all those years is into something like that. - C**

**Gay couples don’t always follow straight rules. Open relationships aren’t that uncommon. I’ve even seen it with musicians and artistic straight people I’ve worked with. - B**

**So, are you actually considering this????!!!!!! Being the 'other man'? -C**

**No, I know I'd end up getting hurt, not being his one and only. :- ( -B**

**I'm sensing a ‘but’ at the end of that sentence ... Or should I say 'butt', as in the legendary butt of Kurt Hummel? (_|_) -C**

Blaine chuckled at Cooper’s text, and sighed as he typed the next message.

**BUT I can’t deny I’m so, so attracted to him. He’s gorgeous, funny, sexy, smart, talented, brave… -B**

It took a while for Cooper to answer.

**So, at Christmas, should we set a couple extra places? One for your boyfriend, and another for your boyfriend’s boyfriend? – C**

**Fuck off, Cooper. – B**

Blaine put his phone back into his pocket and walked slowly back to his apartment, still trying to process the conversation with Kurt at the café. He was just so casual about it, like it wasn’t that weird to talk about his boyfriend being in another country and going out with other men. So, they just date whoever they want when they are apart? And they just hang out together when they can, no hard feelings or jealousy? 

In a way, it made sense. Kurt’s schedule was pretty intense, and he had a hard time taking time off during a run of a play. Adam seemed to work in various areas, and travel a lot. It must be impossible to be in a regular relationship together. 

Maybe that partially explained how Kurt was in the summer. All intense with Blaine for so many weeks, but then letting it all fade away when his attention was grabbed by the show. If Adam and Kurt had an open relationship before the accident, maybe Kurt was used to just having short term, intense relationships with other guys like that. Maybe it hadn’t meant as much to Kurt as it had to Blaine.

But as Blaine thought back on that time they had been together, all those long, intimate conversations were what really stood out. Kurt had been so open, so vulnerable. He hadn’t acted like it was something casual with Blaine back then. 

And he didn’t seem that way now either.

Sighing again, Blaine rubbed his hands over his face, feeling frustrated. He was too attracted to Kurt to just be his friend. But he couldn’t handle being in a poly relationship either, even if it meant being with Kurt. That only left one other option, and he didn’t like that one either.

\----

“Thanks again for coming with me today, Blaine. I’ll probably be OK, but it will be good if you can keep an eye on me in case I’m going to faint or something.” Kurt typed fast, and smiled. Their taxi stopped, and Kurt paid the driver before hopping out with his gym bag. 

Blaine shrugged. “You know me, I like helping you out. Plus, I’ve never tried hot yoga before.” 

Entering the studio, Kurt paid for their class and led the way to the change room. He hadn’t been to this studio for a couple years, but things weren’t much different. “It feels good, and when your muscles are so warm, you can get deeper into the poses, stretch farther.” 

They found a couple empty lockers and quickly changed. Kurt had given Blaine the basics, telling him to eat a light meal at least an hour before the class, and to dress in snug shorts and a tank top. Hot yoga was very sweaty, and loose, wet clothing just got in the way. That it just happened to be a perfect way to get Blaine dressed in very little was a bonus.

In the studio, they put out their yoga mats with non-slip towels on top. Dropping down onto their mats as they waited for the class to start, Kurt looked Blaine over. He was wearing black athletic shorts, and a dark grey tank top. 

“Wow… it’s so hot and humid in here.” Blaine laid back, taking deep breaths.

Kurt nodded. “Over 100 F, and about 40% humidity.” Already, he could feel sweat beading on his back. The heat was sinking into his body, loosening him up. 

The class started, and Blaine followed along quite well. Kurt could tell he wasn’t that experienced in yoga, but he was athletic enough to do most poses. After about ten minutes, everyone was dripping wet with sweat. 

After about twenty minutes, Blaine swore softly and took a sip from his water bottle. 

Kurt just gave him a questioning look, not wanting to move out of his pose to use his phone. 

Blaine just fanned a hand near his face, signalling that he was just hot. And then, he just grabbed the bottom of his tank top, and pulled it off. 

It was times like this that Kurt was glad that he had lost his voice, because he probably would have made some kind of involuntary whimpering noise at seeing Blaine like that. All he was wearing now was some snug little black shorts. Not even shoes and socks. Just shorts and a lot of skin. Naked, sweaty skin. 

Kurt tried to pay attention to the class, but so often found his eyes on Blaine, tracing a drop of sweat as it ran down his muscular leg, or down his back. This was delicious torture.

“Are you feeling OK, Kurt? You are looking a bit dazed or something.” Blaine’s voice broke through his sexy daydreams, and it took a second for Kurt to pull himself together. He nodded, giving a small smile back. 

Thankfully, the class ended soon after that. And when Blaine insisted on wrapping an arm around Kurt’s waist to help him back to the locker room, Kurt didn’t object. But being that close to Blaine’s hot, sweaty body, pressed right up against him, probably made him more unstable. 

Blaine gave him a worried look.

“I’ll be OK once I have a shower and cool down a bit.” Kurt typed, and got his towel and toiletries out of the locker. The showers were luckily individual stalls. He didn’t think he could have handled a group shower area, watching Blaine running soapy hands over his naked body or shampooing his hair. Naked. 

The shower felt good, washing away all the sweat and cooling down. Kurt chuckled to himself when the advice Isabelle had read out the other night came to mind. No need to 'pre-party' with himself before hanging out again with Blaine. He'd been simmering at a low level of arousal since the yoga class started. 

\--- 

"Thanks again for coming with me today. It's the first time doing hot yoga since the accident, and I wasn't that sure how I'd handle it." Kurt smiled at Blaine in the back of the taxi. 

They were both drinking from large water bottles, trying to replace the fluids they had lost during the class. 

Blaine looked at Kurt, his eyes concerned. "Kurt, I think you should take it easy the rest of the day. That was a pretty strenuous class." 

The taxi pulled up to Kurt's building. "I feel fine, Blaine." He gathered his things to go inside. 

"Kurt, is it OK if I come in and hang with you a bit? If I go home now, I'll just worry that you've fallen over and can't get up." Blaine seemed genuine in his concern, so Kurt nodded back to him. 

As if Kurt would ever say no to having Blaine alone with him in his apartment. Just like he had no objections when Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist as they walked into his building. Did Blaine seriously think Kurt was weak from the yoga class, or was he just using this as a way to get close to Kurt? 

As they rode up the elevator, Kurt desperately hoped it was the latter. 

Once inside the apartment, they dropped their gym bags and took off their winter coats. 

"Hey, why don't you go pick out a movie for us to watch? I have a new recipe for a pomegranate smoothie I can make for us." Kurt felt a bit nervous and excited, trying to appear normal as Blaine nodded and headed towards the living room. 

In the kitchen, Kurt did some deep breaths, trying to calm down, as he made the smoothies and made up a tray of healthy snacks. 

It was late afternoon now, and the sun was already setting in the winter sky. Maybe, after the movie, he could convince Blaine to stay for supper. Order in some food, and watch another movie. And maybe, just maybe, it would feel right and things might happen between them again. 

Kurt was tempted, oh so tempted, to make a move on Blaine. But after what happened last time, he was determined to wait for Blaine to make a move, or to give a very clear signal of interest. If he pushed things and made Blaine uncomfortable, he might just stop seeing Kurt completely. 

Blaine was already in his regular spot on the sofa, like so many other times they had hung out together here. It felt so right, so good, having him here. Living with Blaine, even before they got involved, had been fun and easy. Comfortable. They got along so well. Had great conversations. Great laughs. Shared their thoughts about everything. And more than anything, Kurt wanted that back. 

"Kurt, you should have asked for help with this." Blaine admonished as he jumped up and helped Kurt put the tray on the coffee table. 

Sitting down, Kurt just shook his head. "Blaine, thanks for your concern, but I'm not a weak invalid anymore. I'm managing just fine." 

Blaine's eyes travelled over Kurt's chest before flicking up to meet his. "Um, yeah. Old habits." He fumbled with the remote. "I picked 'Guardians of the Galaxy'. Hope that's OK." 

Passing Blaine his smoothie, Kurt settled back on the sofa with his. "Sounds perfect. Chris Pratt is so funny and sexy in that." 

Letting out a surprised chuckle, Blaine took a sip of his drink. "It's hard to picture him as your type." 

"Oh honey, he has a great smile and he's hilarious. That was enough for me even before that scene with his shirt off." Kurt quipped back, happy to be joking around with Blaine. 

It had been a while since they had seen the movie last, and they both had fun watching it. Kurt watched for signs from the pomegranate drink, but so far Blaine seemed to be acting normal. No signs of increased passion. _Dang._

What else was he supposed to do to woo Blaine? He'd already shown him lots of glowing skin at the yoga studio, and had felt a rush when he'd caught Blaine's eyes on his body. He had worn yoga shorts and a tank top, both items very form-fitting. The tank showed that he was getting some muscle tone back in his arms and chest, the working out with weights at the gym starting to show results. And doing yoga, he was in all sorts of bendy poses. If Blaine was at all interested in him that way still, he would have had ample opportunity to check him out. 

The movie ended and Kurt switched on a table lamp, the soft light washing over the both of them. Blaine looked relaxed and happy, not jumping up to leave. 

Dipping his chin a little, Kurt looked up at Blaine, trying for a bit of a sultry look. "Want to order some food in for dinner? I'm getting kind of hungry." And when he said that last word, he couldn't help dropping his gaze to Blaine's mouth. Wanting so badly to feel them against his own. It had been so long. 

Blaine's eyes seemed enormous, and he swallowed hard. Shifting to sit up straighter on the sofa, he reached over to dip a baby carrot in the hummus and popped it into his mouth. "Um, sure. I could really go for some Moo shu pork." 

Kurt realized he was actually really hungry, and they chuckled as Blaine placed an order for a huge amount of food. It wasn't long before it was delivered and they were digging in. Kurt had put some music on, and smiled happily over at Blaine as he ate his hot and sour soup. 

"You've got some hoisin sauce on your cheek." Kurt grinned at Blaine as he pushed his empty plate onto the coffee table. 

Grabbing a napkin, Blaine rubbed it over his mouth and on his cheeks. "It's those little moo shu pancakes. So tasty, but I always end up with sauce everywhere. There, did I get it?" He tilted his chin up towards Kurt. 

Grinning a little, Kurt shook his head and pointed to a spot on his own face, to the right of his mouth. Blaine rubbed his own face near the spot, but still didn't get it. Kurt just shook his head again, his eyes twinkling with amusement. 

Blaine let out an impatient huff and held out the napkin to Kurt. "Here. You clean me up then." 

Chuckling, Kurt shifted closer on the sofa, putting a couple fingers under Blaine's chin to tilt it towards the light and he rubbed the sauce away from his cheek. But when his gaze caught Blaine's, he just froze at the heat there. 

"Kurt." Blaine said softly, and his eyes were big and dark, drawing Kurt in. His eyes went to Kurt's mouth, and then he was moving, his hand digging into Kurt's soft, unstyled hair as his lips pressed hard against Kurt's. 

Barely able to breathe, Kurt kissed Blaine back, sinking into the kisses, savouring them. He had wanted this for so long, so much. And they were even better than he remembered. _Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes..._

Too scared to make a wrong move, Kurt followed Blaine's lead, kissing down his neck when he did, pressing their bodies closer. Kissing whatever skin he could reach, it all being part of this incredible, wonderful man. Irresistible. _More, more, please anything, more..._

Blaine moaned at the light nip of Kurt's teeth on his throat, rolling them both over on the sofa until he was lying on top of Kurt. Their legs were tangled together, and he shifted to press his hips against Kurt's, smiling in satisfaction as Kurt arched up into him. 

Kurt regretted not having his voice so much at times like this, wanting so badly to tell Blaine how good this felt, to moan his name. Anything to encourage him. Tell him how completely he was his. He could only kiss along Blaine's collarbone, rubbing his hands over his back, rocking their bodies together. 

Blaine sat up a little, looking down at Kurt's big dark eyes, mussed hair and kiss-swollen lips. "Mmmm you look so good like this, Kurt. And it's all for me, isn't it?" 

Nodding, Kurt looked up and held Blaine's eyes, wanting him to see in. See how much he wanted this. Wanting him. Nothing held back. 

"Fuck, Kurt. You are so fucking hot." Blaine's voice was scratchy, sending a zing of arousal through Kurt at the sexy words. His hand went down Kurt's chest, lower and lower, until he cupped over Kurt's erection. "Hmmm...so hard for me...all this just for me..." 

Kurt so wanted to say back something like, "Yes, yes, just for you, only you..." But he could only nod repeatedly, closing his eyes, and pressing up against Blaine's hand. _Please, please.... Keep touching me like that..._

But then Blaine shifted away, pulling off Kurt and sitting down on the sofa, breathing hard. Not touching Kurt at all anymore. 

Kurt sat up too, looking curiously at Blaine. _What was going on? Why did he stop?_ He put a tentative hand on Blaine's shoulder. 

Blaine looked down at his hand, and then up at Kurt's face. His expression was upset, strained. "Kurt, I want you so much, and I even thought of doing this with you. Really considered it. But I can't. It would just hurt too much. I'm sorry." 

Kurt's eyes widened. _Shit shit fuck fuck no._ He looked around frantically for his phone, and fumbled to grab it. But Blaine was already getting off the sofa, heading towards the door. 

Running to the door, Kurt planted himself in front of it. There was no fucking way he was going to let Blaine leave without having a chance to talk. His fingers were shaking and uncooperative, but he was finally able to type correctly. "Blaine, please. Talk to me about this. Please please. I care about you so, so much." 

Blaine's eyes were big and troubled, and he looked over Kurt's face thoroughly. Taking in his big stormy blue eyes, brimming with tears, the way he was biting his bottom lip with nervousness. Kurt was truly laying himself bare in front of Blaine, and he could tell he really meant what he said. He closed his eyes for a second, just taking a deep breath. 

The tears were seeping from his own eyes as Blaine looked back. "I really, really care about you too, Kurt. But this just isn't right for me. I can't do it." He dropped a quick light kiss on Kurt's lips, and pushed a stunned Kurt away from the door to escape. 

\--- 

 

 

\-----

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

A/N: Post & paste the links below if you are interested in wooing men or the Qwirkle game (seriously fun). 

http://www.glamour.com/gallery/10-ways-to-seduce-your-man-in-seconds#7 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qwirkle 


	22. Chapter 22

Blaine was gone, gone for good, and Kurt couldn't blame him. 

_"Kurt, I want you so much, and I even thought of doing this with you. Really considered it. But I can't. It would just hurt too much…. I really, really care about you too, Kurt. But this just isn't right for me. I can't do it."_ Blaine's words rang again and again in Kurt's head. 

How could he argue with that? Blaine confessed to wanting him, caring about him, but wasn’t willing to get involved with Kurt again.

Kurt thought about it, going over every moment they had had together, right from the first moment Blaine had come in to read to him to their last night. Every word, every look, every touch. Berated himself for every opportunity he didn’t take. All the times he could have shown how much he cared. 

He thought, long and hard, about why Blaine didn’t want to be with him. Maybe the romantic feelings were gone, and he only cared for him as a friend. There was sexual attraction there too, but that didn’t mean there were deeper feelings behind them. And Blaine didn’t want to be friends with benefits. 

Maybe he didn’t want to get involved with Kurt because of his high profile job. There had been awkward conversations around being photographed together, and Kurt sensed it wasn’t something Blaine really liked. At best, he tolerated it. It was a nice change from being with someone who liked Kurt for his fame, but going to events and being in the media was just a part of Kurt’s life. His partner would have to accept it too. 

Kurt tried to think if there were friends or family influences that would be discouraging Blaine from being involved with Kurt. But he’d gotten along well with Sam and from what Blaine had said about his family, he didn’t think they would object to anything. All his friends and Carole liked Blaine. No one treated him bad or made him feel unwelcome.

They had lived together for about two months, and gotten along so well. Sharing cooking and cleaning duties. Taking turns picking what movie to watch and talking about everything. The sex had been great. 

But Kurt wasn’t totally blind to how things were before Blaine moved out. They were doing great until Kurt started working in the theatre. Bringing up the calendar on his phone, he reviewed the hours he worked every day until the day Blaine moved out. Saw in black and white that he was hardly home for meals, hardly home at all. And he’d asked Blaine to move back in after Carole left, selfishly wanting him there, only to drop him like a toddler getting a new toy. How had Blaine felt, to be suddenly abandoned like that? 

Kurt cringed when he thought back to the nights when he came home earlier, sharing a rare meal together and probably boring Blaine with all his talk about the show. And the whole time, Blaine was just an incredible, selfless supporter of his work. Pushing him to go to the theatre on his own, pushing him to get used to using the voice app with everyone. Coming by the theatre so they could have a quick lunch together. Had he even asked Blaine once about his work, his life during that time? Ever apologized for being away so much? 

No wonder Blaine had no interest in coming back to a relationship with Kurt. What guarantee did he have that it wouldn’t be like that again? It wasn’t fair to be in a relationship when Blaine gave 90% and Kurt only gave 10% back. Kurt wouldn’t want to have a partner like that either. 

He was selfish. He was self-centered.

Was it the success and awards going to his head? Had he started believing everything the press and fans said about him, thinking he was so special that someone was just lucky to be with him? Should put up with his bad behavior and count it as the price of admission to be his partner? 

Kurt just shook his head. He’d been around enough successful people to know who he admired and who he was disgusted by. He had always tried to be real with everyone he worked with, generous and trying to help them be their best. He was not a diva, demanding special treatment at the theatre, even before the accident, at his height. 

The talks he’d had with Carole in the summer came to mind. Her warnings about balancing his work with the rest of his life. And here it was…. The result of not doing it was that he had lost Blaine forever.

\----

Kurt got up, ate, went to work, tried to act normal. He got through each day. But they felt dull and long. Nate noticed, giving him concerned looks, and nodding in understanding when Kurt had explained that things with Blaine hadn’t worked out.

Clapping a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, Nate’s warm eyes held his. “Well, in a few weeks, you will be flying to Dubai for Christmas. I want you to rest, relax, and think about what you want in the new year. Maybe there is a project we could develop together.” 

Nodding, he gave his friend a hug. He had been incredibly generous to change the schedule to allow for Kurt to have the two weeks off. 

“Kurt, I know you are going through a horrible time right now. But your hurt is trying to teach you something. Learn the lesson, so this doesn’t happen the next time you meet someone incredible.” Nate said softly, his eyes full of caring for Kurt. For a man who had such success in his professional life, Nate wanted him to be equally happy in his personal life. 

\---

 _“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results.”_ \- Albert Einstein

Kurt gave a little smile as he made the quote he’d found on the internet into his phone’s wallpaper. There. Now he’d see it several times a day. Again and again until it was ingrained into his mind. 

This was something Nate, Isabelle and Carole had talked to him about, several times. Something he had faced every time a relationship ended. He had been doing the same thing, over and over again. But it was ending now.

\---

“OK, so if you feel comfortable with everything, we will need you to sign the consent forms.” The doctor handed a pen to Kurt, and sat back in her chair. 

Kurt read over the forms, and signed at the bottom. Her explanations had been clear, and he knew the risks. 

“What do you think the chances of success are?” Kurt typed, wanting to have realistic expectations.

She nodded. “Well, there is severe damage to your vocal cords, but I think I will be able to correct some of it. There is a small chance you will regain enough ability to be able to speak clearly at a normal volume. But it is more likely you may gain back some ability, but not much volume.” She shrugged. “I’m afraid singing is very unlikely.”

It was the same as what she had said on the initial visit, back when he had come with Carole in the summer. But with nothing to lose, and the possibility of gaining back any of his voice; Kurt hadn’t hesitated in scheduling the surgery back then. The months had passed quickly, and it had almost been a surprise when he had the reminder call to come in for the pre-surgery check-up. 

She reviewed his pre-surgery prep and the aftercare. It wasn’t a very invasive procedure, mostly small amounts of laser and the tiniest of cuts. 

“Do you have someone to take you home and be with you the first night?” The doctor put the paperwork into his file.

Kurt nodded. “Yes, my friend Hannah, who is a nurse.” 

The doctor stood, shaking his hand before she led him back out of the office. “See you tomorrow, on the operating table.”

\----

Kurt sighed as he opened the apartment door and lugged his suitcase inside. Boxes were still everywhere, and it was hard to turn around in places. He really should have sorted it all out before he went to Dubai for Christmas, but he just didn’t have the energy. Back then, he barely had the energy to get up and showered for work everyday. He had just unpacked the essentials and moved the rest of the boxes against the walls to deal with later.

Dubai had been a great getaway, a fascinating place to spend a couple relaxing weeks. They had been to mosques and historical sites. Shopped in modern malls and ancient souqs. Seen the view from the top of the world's tallest building. Eaten in amazing restaurants featuring cuisine from around the world. Spent a day in the desert and watched belly dancing as the sun set. They had both been eager to see and experience as much of the local culture as they could. 

Their hotel was elegant and decorated with Moroccan lamps and accessories everywhere. They had gotten into the habit of going for a long swim in the pool in the morning before having a leisurely breakfast and planning their day. After a long busy day, they were usually back at the hotel at a reasonable hour.

Carole had been great company, and they talked lots. She was so pleased he had gotten back into theatre in the associate director role, and could see how his eyes glowed when he talked about it. He still nagged her to move to New York, and she put him off by saying she was considering it. When she had asked about Blaine, he had said they were only friends now. 

Even though he was with Carole so much, he had a lot of quiet time to himself. Things had been so busy the last few weeks before his trip, he hadn't really had time to process all that had happened. But during this trip, he had time to think it all through.

\---

“Welcome to Broadway Beat, Kurt Hummel.” The tall, leggy blonde said into the radio microphone.

Kurt typed fast on his tablet. “It’s great to be back, Elise.” 

She gave him an easy smile to try to help him relax. It had taken a lot of convincing for him to do a live interview, using his tablet. “Now, I’m just going to take a minute to make sure our listeners are up to date with your story. We were all surprised and amazed when we heard that you had come out of your yearlong coma in the spring. It looks like you have recovered fully, except for your vocal cords.” 

Nodding, Kurt typed. “Yes, I am fortunate that I wasn’t more seriously injured.”

“Our listeners can’t see it, but you are using a computer tablet to speak. There’s a slight delay in your conversation, but I must say your voice from the tablet sounds like your old voice. It’s really remarkable.” Elise had been doing this radio program for over a decade, and had interviewed Kurt many times in the past. 

Kurt gave her a grateful look. It was always good to hear that. “I’d like to give the credit for that to my friend Sam Evans. He was able to sample words from recorded interviews I’ve done over the years and load them into a voice app. He did a great job of it.” 

“How did it feel to wake up from the coma and realize you had lost not only your voice, but your profession?” Elise asked, her eyes kind. She had a way of making her guests relax and speak from the heart, always more of a conversation with a friend than an interview.

Sighing, Kurt thought for a moment before answering. “It was a shock, but I was dealing with recovering from the coma as well. Relearning how to walk and feed myself. I just took it day by day, and had incredible support from health care staff and friends.”

Taking a sip of her coffee, Elise gave him an encouraging smile to assure him that he was doing well. “You went from being in a coma to being a part of Broadway’s biggest new shows, _Red Star_. It has been quite a year for you!” 

“As you said before, with losing my voice, I wasn’t sure what career I should pursue next. I wasn’t even thinking I would have a place in theatre anymore.” Kurt replied.

“You have worked with Nate Robinson in the past though. How different was it being his associate director instead of his star?” 

Kurt thought about it. “Well, being one of the directors is about bringing out the best in the performers and crew, making sure all the pieces are fitting together into one cohesive whole that fits Nate’s vision. It’s a different view of the production, being on the outside instead of from the center of the stage. But I’ve been in enough shows over the years to contribute in this new way.” 

She gave him a nod. “I had Nate on the show a couple weeks ago, and he was singing your praises. He said your ideas for the show are what made it the big success it is today, and that he is pushing you to develop another project with him.” 

“Oh, he’s being far too kind.” Kurt was blushing, much to Elise’s amusement.

“Can you give us any hint to this new project?” Her eyes were full of genuine curiosity.

Kurt bit his lip, dropping his gaze down to the tablet. It took a bit of time to type out his answer. “I’m only in the beginning phase of developing the idea, but it will be about love. The stages of love.” It was something he had been thinking about so much in the last month.

“Oh really? How do you mean?” 

Taking a sip of his coffee, Kurt’s gaze met her’s, and he felt laid bare before her, his pain still so recent and fresh. Like his defenses were stripped away. She put a hand on his arm in comfort. “Love, attraction…I think that the feelings build over time, in a way we almost can’t control. In the beginning, it’s the infatuation, when you find them attractive and feel interested in getting to know them more. And then it builds to sexually wanting them, wanting more, being intimate. And then, you realize you love them.” 

“But it doesn’t always go that far.” Elise laughed, trying to lighten Kurt's mood. “So many times, I’ve been attracted to someone and it dies when I’ve gotten to know them a little better.” 

Kurt nodded. “Yes. That’s what makes love so special when you have it. It’s rare and beautiful.” 

Elise squeezed his arm and released it. “I like the idea and it will be interesting to see what you do with it. The phases of love.” 

He gave her a closed-lipped smile. “I think of it as Infatuation, when you can’t keep your eyes off of them. Lust, when you can’t keep your hands off of them….”

“And love? When you can’t what? Can’t keep from sending them hallmark greeting cards?” Elise joked back. 

He shook his head, giving her a small rueful smile. “And love, when you can’t keep your thoughts off of them. They are there, with you, all the time.” 

Elise’s eyes were taking in his sad expression, and Kurt was glad that the voice app was neutral in it’s tone. “But what if that love isn’t returned?” 

Kurt shrugged a shoulder and typed. “You can’t just turn those thoughts and feelings off, unfortunately. That person will always have a piece of your heart.” 

 

She nodded at him, and then switched back to her professional voice. “Well, it has been so interesting talking with you today, Kurt. I encourage our listeners to check out _Red Star,_ as it is appearing on many of the ‘Best of’ lists for the year and I wouldn’t be surprised if we hear about it more during award season.”

“Thanks for having me on here, Elise. Happy New Year.” 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: A lot happens in this chapter & just to make it a bit clearer... 

1) When Carole visited NYC in the summer, she mentioned to Blaine that she & Kurt were planning to meet up in Dubai for X-mas, since it's 1/2 way between NYC & Thailand. The trip is set for Dec 12-26th. The incredible 5 star hotel they stay at was inspired by 14th century Arab explorer, Ibn Battuta, and the great hall has 88 giant moroccan lanterns and it's about $200 US a night. I want to go!! Google 'hotel Ibn Battuta Gate' to look at the pics! 

2) Not mentioned before was that during her visit, she took him to some medicial appointments, including a laryngologist (voice dr), and they scheduled the surgery for late November. Kurt didn't tell anyone as there's only a tiny chance it will improve anything. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey man, do you have Kurt's new address? –S**

The text came out of the blue, and Blaine furrowed his brow in confusion. 

**Kurt? You mean Kurt Hummel? –B**

**Well d'uh! Yes, Kurt Hummel. I sent him some flowers to his old address and the florist told me he doesn't live there anymore. –S**

Blaine was even more confused by the reply. 

**What the fuck are you doing sending flowers to my ex in the first place???! –B**

**Ha ha chill, man. Chill. They are just thank you flowers for mentioning my name on a radio program he was on. I've been contacted by a bunch of people from it. –S**

Radio program?? Kurt?? Blaine just shook his head in confusion. He googled it, and saw the link to Broadway Beat's website, with a downloadable mp3 of the interview. 

**Oh OK. Sorry. I'll check into Kurt's address and get back to you. –B**

**OK, cool. –S**

Blaine put in his ear buds and listened to the interview. And then listened to it again two more times. 

\---

"Blaine, right? Are you looking for Kurt?" 

Blaine looked up to see Nate walking towards him at the stage door entrance of the theatre. 

Nodding, Blaine smiled in relief at seeing him. He'd been having a hard time getting past the receptionist. 

"Um, Hi Nate." They hugged briefly. "Yeah, I guess Kurt isn't working today and I was hoping to get his new address. I want to see him."

Nate gave him a considering look and then nodded, pulling Blaine to the side for privacy. "He's in pretty rough shape, Blaine. I'll give you his address, but please don't say anything to upset him, OK?"

Blaine's eyebrows rose at Nate's tone, obviously protective of his dear friend. _What the hell had happened to Kurt?_ His mind was whirling with horrible possibilities, and he felt scared, truly scared. A tendril of dread settled into his stomach, and he needed to see Kurt with his own eyes. Now. 

Nate clicked on his phone and showed Blaine the address on his contact list. Blaine copied it into his contacts with shaking fingers. 

"Thanks, Nate. I'll be careful with him. I promise." Blaine said, giving Nate an anxious look. 

Nate took in the worry and caring in Blaine's expression, and seemed satisfied by it somehow. He patted Blaine's shoulder fondly, and pushed him towards the door. 

\---

Kurt woke up to a pounding on his door, and rubbed his eyes sleepily. He had stayed up late, working on the new project, and was in no hurry to rush out of bed on his day off.

Getting up, he stretched and pulled on his robe before walking to the door, and peered through the peephole. 

_WTF!! Blaine!_

Jumping back, Kurt almost tripped on a box near the entranceway, running his hands through his messy hair as he stared at the door, his heart thumping. _What was Blaine doing here? How did he know this new address?_ Dozens of questions zipped around his mind.

"Kurt, I heard you moving around in there. Open the damn door." Blaine knocked again loudly, his voice sounding stressed and impatient. 

Rolling his eyes, Kurt couldn't think of a way to avoid facing Blaine now. Pulling the edges of his robe closer together, he took a deep breath and opened the door. 

For at least a minute, they stared at each other. It had been over a month since they had gone to that hot yoga class, since they had shared those hot kisses, since Blaine said those awful final words and left. 

Kurt drank in the sight of Blaine. He was wearing an indigo down parka, a black knit cap pulled down over his hair. His skin was a bit red from the cold weather, and his eyes were dark and intense, looking Kurt over thoroughly. 

Feeling the gaze, Kurt felt deeply self-conscious, knowing he looked tired and his hair was a mess and needed a trim. He looked down, feeling the heat of a blush on his face, and cursed his fair skin. 

Blaine stepped in, closing the door behind him, and looking around the apartment. Taking in the piles of boxes, the badly placed furniture. And Kurt felt even more exposed, more vulnerable. 

Turning back to Kurt, Blaine's eyes searched Kurt's. "Why are you living here, Kurt? What's happened?" His voice was soft, but with an urgent edge that Kurt couldn't get away from. 

Lifting an eyebrow, Kurt just waved to the sofa and sat down on the armchair after moving aside some books and picking up his tablet. He started typing, seeing in his peripheral vision that Blaine was taking off his coat and winter boots, and sitting down. 

"Don't you remember? Adam only covered the rent on that big place until the end of November. This place fits my budget better." Kurt shrugged, his face expressionless as he looked back to Blaine. Just feeling a bit numb.

Blaine's eyes widened in surprise. "But surely Adam can still afford the other place..."

Kurt just shook his head. "Maybe, but he's already done plenty. Way more than most ex-boyfriends would.” The edge of his mouth tilted up into a wry smile. 

"Ex-boyfriend?" Blaine said, looking intently at Kurt again in a way he was beginning to feel a little irritated by. 

"Why are you here, Blaine?" Kurt asked, feel suddenly really drained, really tired. 

Blaine seemed to gather himself, looking around the apartment quickly as if he was trying to remember. "Um, Sam...he tried to send you flowers, as a thank you for that mention in the radio interview, and then the address...."

Nodding, Kurt got up and walked over to the door. "OK, well, you obviously got it now." He opened the door, not really caring if he was being rude. He was seconds away from losing it, crumbling into tears. _Go. Just go._

Biting his lip, Blaine got up slowly, and put on his coat. Kurt could tell he still had questions, but Kurt just tilted his chin up challengingly. Hanging onto his dignity as hard as he could. 

Blaine was almost out the door, but he stopped and turned. "Kurt, please. I can see you are hurting, but we've always been friends. Can we go for lunch sometime, when you're feeling better? I miss talking with you."

Kurt looked at him, just feeling stunned at Blaine's request. Finally, he just nodded a couple times and pushed Blaine out the door, closing it softly behind him. Just getting him to go. 

And then he went back to his bed, pushing his wet face into the pillow and pulling the bedcovers up over his body. 

\---

**I saw Kurt. – B**

He didn’t have to wait long before he got a reply.

**What?!! Why? When? How? Where? ??!!??! - C**

Chuckling a little, Blaine shook his head as he answered. 

**All that doesn’t matter, Coop. What matters is that he’s not with Adam anymore. -B**

Blaine was grinning like a fool. But he didn’t care.

**What?!! Why? When? How? Where? ??!!??! - C**

Chuckling loudly, Blaine didn’t care that people at the other tables of the café were giving him a funny look.

**He told me himself. I heard it right from him. – B**

**Then why the hell are you messaging me about this? Why aren’t you with him? - C**

Blaine’s expression sobered, and he sighed.

**He’s a bit of a mess about it all. He was practically in tears by the time I left, barely holding it together. He moved, and he hasn’t even unpacked much. I feel so bad for him. -B**

It took a while for Cooper to reply. Blaine was almost going to send another message to see if he was still there.

**Blainey, Blainey…. I know you care about him, but what are you doing? This is a guy who wanted you to be his second place boyfriend. Are you really going to be happy with someone like that? What if you are with him, and he wants to get involved with someone else? –C**

**I just don’t want getting hurt, little brother. – C**

Blaine knew Cooper was making a good point, but it didn’t change the way he felt.

**Just be happy for me, Coop. -B**

**I hope you will be. Be careful. – C**

\---

Kurt arched an eyebrow as he opened his apartment door.

Blaine stood there, a small grin on his face and his hands full of takeout. “Beef meatball hero with tomato sauce and cheese on whole wheat.”

Typing on his phone, Kurt gave a little smirk. “You know my sandwich order?”

Smiling widely, Blaine stepped into the apartment. “Of course I do.” 

“OK, I’ll let you in. But only because you are bringing me food and I’m feeling too lazy to cook.” Kurt trailed behind Blaine as he put down the food and cleared things off the coffee table. He emptied the bags, pulling out sandwiches, coleslaw, chips and drinks. 

Blaine sat down on the sofa, and looked over at Kurt. “Can you put on some music or something? Something we can eat to.” 

Feeling a bit nostalgic, Kurt put on some old Simon and Garfunkel before sinking down on the armchair. One of his Dad’s favorites. The smell of the food was fantastic, and he was soon digging eagerly into the sub. 

“Why are you here, Blaine?” Kurt asked, when they had finished off every bite of the food. 

Blaine wiped a napkin over his mouth, and smiled. “I’m here to offer my services to my friend.” And he motioned to the boxes that filled most of the living room still. 

Rolling his eyes, Kurt just shook his head. “Blaine, that’s really kind of you, but you’ve already unpacked all my stuff once. I’m working through it all slowly.” 

“Yes, Kurt, I’ve unpacked it all once and it fit well into that larger apartment. But you are going to have to downsize a lot of it to fit it in here. And I’m an expert at that.” Blaine said confidently. 

Sighing, Kurt looked at Blaine steadily. This was so strange, being alone with Blaine after being apart so many weeks. Why was Blaine really here? Did he feel bad for rejecting Kurt back in November? Was this a pity thing, seeing Kurt crammed into this tiny apartment and looking depressed and overwhelmed? Did he really want to spend time with Blaine, just as friends? Was it just a recipe for being hurt again? Being near Blaine, getting to want him again, care for him more, just when he was maybe starting to get over him? 

Blaine’s confident smile was dipping, and there was a flash of insecurity in his eyes. “Kurt, please let me help you with this. Just a friend helping out another friend. It’s a new year now. Let’s get this place looking as good as it can. Give you a fresh new start.” 

Blinking fast, Kurt tried to hold it together. This was really hard. Getting up quickly, he walked to the washroom and shut the door. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._

Splashing water on his face and then drying it, Kurt looked at himself in the mirror. _Come on. Either tell him to go, or suck it up and accept his help._ Maybe he just feels bad about how things ended before and wants to be friends now. Offering to help with the unpacking is like a peace offering.

By the time he got back to the living room, Blaine had tidied away all the food wrappers, and was flipping through a Vogue magazine. Kurt bit his lip, reminded of that day they had met. It seemed so long ago now. So much had happened.

“OK, you can help me unpack.” Kurt typed, and knew he’d done the right thing when he saw the relief in Blaine’s eyes. 

\---

“Kurt, Kurt, Kurt….take a look at all the clothes and the size of your closet. You don’t have to be an expert at Tetris to see that it’s not all going to fit in there, no matter how well I design the storage.” Blaine shook his head as Kurt fussed around with the clothes on the rolling rack he’d brought over. 

Looking over his shoulder at Blaine, Kurt scowled like Blaine was suggesting he murder kittens. “Come on, you are the expert. There must be a way, Blaine.” 

It was the third Monday they had worked together on Kurt’s apartment, and things were looking a lot better. They had finished the kitchen, living room and office stuff. All that remained was Kurt’s clothes, and Blaine knew there was a storm on the horizon.

Shuffling through the clothes on the rack, Blaine pulled out a three piece suit in burgundy velvet with wide black lapels. “Tell me about this.” 

Kurt grinned widely, and stroked a loving hand down the fabric. “Ahhhh, my Dolce and Gabbana. Wore it to the opening night party for _‘Company’.”_

“I remember. Your picture was in tons of magazines. And this one?”

Taking the grey blazer off the hanger, Kurt slipped it on and looked in the mirror, doing up all the buttons. It was fitted, with a darker grey mandarin collar. “From when I won my first Tony.”

Blaine nodded, and hung it back up when Kurt took it off. “You would have to admit that you love these clothes for the memories they hold, but they are too iconic for you to wear again. Right?”

Nodding, Kurt shuffled through the clothing, so many good times of his past coming to mind as he looked at them. “OK, Blaine. Just spit out whatever you are tiptoeing up to.” 

“You could put them into storage, since you aren’t going to wear them and you don’t have space for them here. But I think it would be better if we donate them, or auction them off for charity.” Blaine spoke softly, knowing it was a bit like talking someone off a ledge, trying to get them to part with beloved items like this.

Kurt sighed, stroking over the fabrics. “But I love them so much.” 

Blaine put a light hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “Maybe you could take pictures of them, something to remember them by. That way, you could store the pictures in a small box and let the clothes go.” 

Kurt stilled, and then looked over at Blaine with his eyes bright. Maybe a little too bright. He nodded. “That is a great idea.” 

\---

“Yes, Yes, A Thousand Time Yes!!!” Isabelle squealed, and then jumped on Kurt to give him the tightest hug he’d ever had.

When she finally let him go, he smiled down at his friend’s glowing eyes. “Which photographer do you think would be best?” 

“Henri is fantastic. Suzanne has more of an edgy style. Hmmm….let me think about it.” She pulled out her tablet, and typed some notes. “I think a dozen for the magazine, but we’ll do a long shoot to cover all the pieces, yes?” 

Kurt nodded, glad that she totally got his idea. “Help me sort through everything, OK?” 

\---

Blaine felt uncomfortable as he stepped into the studio. There were so many people there already, rushing around, and loud music playing. He looked around for someone familiar, but the only person he would know would be Kurt, and he couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Blaine, right?” A woman’s voice came from behind him.

Turning, he saw a woman wearing skinny jeans with red heels, and a matching red jacket. Her smile was wide and welcoming. “Ah, yes. I’m Blaine.”

She held out her hand. “I’m Isabelle Wright. Kurt has shown me pictures of you. Come on, let’s get you some coffee and a comfortable place to hang out.” 

Blaine was glad for her guidance as she took him through the large space. Soon he was settled on a chair with a big coffee, taking in the organized chaos. 

It didn’t take long for Kurt to appear, and he took Blaine’s breath away. He was wearing the D&G velvet suit; his hair gelled back and walking confidently to the photographer. Soon, he was positioned on a stool in front of a green screen, looking every inch Kurt Hummel, Broadway Star. Blaine felt a little star struck. 

Kurt and the photographer worked well together, with frequent clothing changes. The hairdresser was busy also, styling to best suit each ensemble. Blaine lost count of all the looks, but they all brought up memories. Iconic fashions that captured the last decade of Kurt’s singing career. 

“Let’s break for lunch, everybody.” The photographer finally called out, and Blaine could sense the energy of the room relaxing like a big breath exhaling.

Isabelle found him soon after that. “Come with me, Blaine.” She had a little smile that he didn’t quite understand, not knowing her at all.

Again, he followed her, leaving the studio and through many twisty corridors. They finally entered a large sunny room with lots of windows and casual seating. “This is the staff lounge. I thought it would be nice to get away from everyone for our lunch.” She gave him a Coke from the fridge, and got busy with her phone, talking to someone about their lunch order. Blaine walked around, looking out the windows. 

He sensed a presence nearby, and turned to see Kurt standing there. 

“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine gave him a relieved smile. “You’re having lunch with us? Great.” 

Kurt nodded, dressed in a simple white tee and yoga pants. “How are you liking your first photo shoot?” He waved towards the table, where Isabelle was setting out some containers of take-out. 

After sitting down, Blaine dished out some pad thai onto his plate, feeling very hungry. “It’s pretty crazy! You are modelling so many outfits!”

Chuckling, Isabelle nudged Kurt with her elbow. “Normally, there wouldn’t be so many, but Kurt is clearing out all the old stuff. Ten years worth of signature Kurt Hummel fashion.” 

“And hopefully, grouping each outfit with a framed photograph of me wearing it, taken by Henri Moreau, will drive up the prices at the auction.” Kurt added, shrugging. 

Isabelle practically squirmed in her seat in excitement. “I wonder how much the ones that appear in the magazine will go for?” 

Kurt looked at his friend with open affection. “Well, I totally leave it to your experienced eye which outfits you put in the magazine. I’m just amazed you agreed to the whole scheme.” 

“It will be a good piece for the magazine, and the auction is for a good cause. Have you finalized the name for it yet?” Isabelle helped herself to more green curry. For a tiny woman, she had a healthy appetite. 

Kurt looked over at Blaine. It was something they had thrown ideas around for. 

“I think I like ‘The Shirt Off My Back’. You are literally giving up your clothes, and all the proceeds are going to Carole’s health clinic.” Blaine smiled, pleased that Kurt had taken his idea and ran with it so far. He had been shocked at the amount of clothing Kurt was getting rid of. It was everything from the time he was singer. Any piece he and Isabelle deemed was recognizable from his red carpet appearances. 

As Kurt and Isabelle chatted more, Blaine simply sat back and watched the way they interacted. Kurt had worked for Isabelle when he first moved to New York, only months after graduating high school. And Kurt had shown Isabelle pictures of him. To one of his oldest and dearest friends. They had talked about him. The idea pleased him, and he wasn't quite sure why.

Being around Kurt the last few weeks had been wonderful and awful. Week after week, he could see Kurt was more himself, less unhappy. Initially, the pain in Kurt’s eyes, in the way he even held himself, was so close to the surface. Little things seemed to trigger his emotions, and Blaine would see Kurt turn away, sometimes leaving to have a moment by himself in the washroom. And Blaine would do anything to take that pain away. 

But there were signs he was getting over Adam. In going through all the boxes, they had come across the boxes they had packed up in the summer and labelled ‘Adam’. This time, Kurt just opened them up, shifted through the items and only took a couple things out. The rest went to the donation pile. But still, Kurt rarely brought his name up. Blaine didn’t at all, not wanting to trigger bad feelings in him. 

“Blaine. Earth to Blaine.” Isabelle waved a hand near his face, and he started, pulled out of his thoughts. “Come on, we are going to head back now.” 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	24. Chapter 24

“Quit grinding your teeth, Blaine.” Sam said softly, leaning towards his friend. He didn’t want to disturb the people nearby. 

Blaine just looked over at him, and rolled his eyes. But his gaze quickly went back to the front row where Kurt was sitting. Between Isabelle and Adam. 

Adam, looking perfect in a dark brown suit, bidding frequently on the items that came up in the auction. Leaning towards Kurt to whisper in his ear, likely sharing memories of the times Kurt had worn the clothing while out with Adam at some event or other.

The auction was going well, the interest was strong and the pieces selling for good prices. Before the auction started, Isabelle had given background about the health clinic, showing a PowerPoint presentation of Carole working with the children, with a few pictures of Kurt during his visit sprinkled in. Good motivation for generous donations. 

Afterwards, Blaine and Sam had mingled with the crowd, chatting with Melissa, Nate, Hannah and Deanna. But his eyes kept being drawn over to Kurt with Adam, laughing together. Kurt returning his smiles, looking perfectly at ease. Why wasn’t he angry? Hurt? Sad? 

Sam sighed loudly and grabbed Blaine’s arm, pulling him away from other people. “You are glaring, Blaine.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, agitated. “How can Kurt just smile and chat with him like that? Act like nothing happened? I’ve been with him these last few weeks, seen how hard he was taking it. I just don’t get it.” 

But Sam didn’t answer. He just gave him a small, bemused look. “Blaine, ask Kurt to talk with you. Find somewhere private and ask him all this. You are back on friendly terms.”

“I can’t…this is his party…” Blaine looked around, the ballroom busy with so many people.

Shrugging his shoulder, Sam turned Blaine in Kurt's direction. “I’m sure they can manage without him for ten minutes. Now go fucking talk to him.” And he sent him on his way with a little push. 

After a brief hesitation, Blaine steeled himself and walked towards Kurt, who was chatting with Isabelle. Adam was over near the bar, and Blaine felt relieved that he would be spared the awkward experience of meeting him. 

“Blaine! It’s so good to see you again.” Isabelle gave him a warm smile. She was wearing a pewter sleeveless dress with a lacy overlay, her hair swept dramatically back from her face, and looked lovely. But his gaze was drawn to Kurt, wearing a designer black suit with elegant ease. 

He greeted them both, his smile a little tense. “Um, Kurt, can I steal you away for a few minutes?” He kept it simple, kept it vague.

Kurt gave him a questioning glance, but then nodded. He gave Isabelle a little bow of his head and then stepped closer to Blaine. 

His heart pounding, Blaine lead him out of the ballroom and down the hall, looking for a quiet place to talk where they wouldn’t be interrupted. Off the main lobby of the hotel, there was an alcove near a window with a brocade sofa. 

Taking a deep breath, Blaine turned to Kurt. “I have to ask. What the hell is Adam doing here, Kurt?” 

Kurt gave a surprised look at Blaine’s sharp tone and his flashing eyes. His eyes narrowed and he shrugged. “I invited him.” 

_Invited him!_ “This doesn’t make any sense. After the way he treated you, after how upset you’ve been, no matter how you have tried to hide it. He hurt you, and you’re just acting like you are old friends here tonight.” Blaine paced a few steps and then back, unable to stand still. 

Looking confused, Kurt typed fast. “I haven’t been upset over Adam. We haven’t been together since before the accident. We have only been friends for ages.” 

“Not together? What about in the fall? You two were everywhere together, cuddling for the cameras.” Blaine’s hands were on his hips. This made no sense.

With a sigh, Kurt sat on the sofa. “Come on, Blaine. Surely you knew that was just promotion for the show when it opened. There wasn’t anything going on.” 

Shaking his head, Blaine pulled out his phone, and scrolled through until he found the email. Silently, he passed it to Kurt, and sank down beside him. 

Kurt took the phone, and read the message, giving Blaine a shocked look. He read it again, scrolling down to read Blaine’s initial message and taking note of the date. He forwarded the email to his phone, wanting his own copy, and passed the phone back.

“I didn’t send that message, Blaine.” Kurt’s thoughts were whirling around, piecing things together. 

Blaine sputtered. “But you… who…”

“So this whole time, you thought I was in a relationship with Adam? Living in different countries?” Kurt furrowed his brow, his eyes intense on Blaine, taking in his expressions. 

“Well, yeah. You both are busy in your careers. A long distance relationship. Isn’t that what you did before?” Blaine said, confused by Kurt’s expression. By everything he’d said.

Kurt huffed and got off the sofa, pacing around the small space. “So, in November when I was flirting with you, asking you out, kissed you…you thought I was still in a relationship with Adam? I would do that with you when I was involved with someone else?” His voice app delivered the words with no emotion, but Kurt’s expression more than made up for it. He was mad, confused, bewildered. 

Blaine jumped off the sofa, stepping towards Kurt. “You said ‘I have my life, he has his.’ You had some kind of open arrangement or something.”

Rolling his eyes, Kurt just stopped pacing, looking at Blaine with incredulity. “You seriously thought I was pursuing you to be my bit on the side or something?”

“What was I supposed to think? You email me that you are back with Adam and then…” Blaine waved his hands as he spoke, still overwhelmed by it all.

Kurt shook his head. “Blaine, I’m from Ohio. I could never do that type of thing. I can hardly handle being in a relationship with one guy.” He dropped onto the sofa, running his hands through his hair.

“So, you and Adam…” Blaine had to know. Had to ask. His heart pounded as he waited. 

“We are only friends, Blaine. That’s it.” Kurt looked drained.

Blaine sat down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “For you maybe, but if you didn’t send that email, then he did. He deliberately tried to screw things up between us, Kurt. And he wouldn’t have done that if he was just a friend.” 

Kurt shrugged, unable to argue anything differently. He knew Adam had been interested in more between them, perhaps rekindling their old relationship. But to purposely mislead Blaine like that… 

Blaine shifted closer. “So, in November, when you were flirting with me and everything…” Had that really been Kurt, free and available Kurt, taking him out to a play and then following him into his apartment to kiss? And he’d turned away from him...????

Kurt nodded, the pain Blaine had so often seen flashing in his eyes before he dropped them to his tablet. “Yes, I was doing everything I could to get you back. But I can understand why you said you can’t. I looked back on how I acted with you in the summer. I was so selfish, hardly there for you, when you had dropped everything to move in with me, help me out. You deserve so much better.” 

He looked so miserable, so heartbroken. Blaine’s heart went out to him…

Reaching over, he took Kurt’s hand in his. Kurt lifted his head to look at Blaine questioningly. “In that radio interview, at the end…”

Kurt nodded. “Oh, you heard it? I meant it, Blaine, every word. And I know you don’t share my feelings. But you’ll always have a piece of my heart.” 

“I don’t want it.” Blaine said firmly. 

Biting his lip, Kurt just stared at Blaine, his expression hurt and confused. So many emotions swirling in his stormy blue eyes. 

Shifting closer, Blaine took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t want just a piece of your heart. I want the whole damn thing. I love you.” His own heart was pounding fast in his chest, a mix of excitement and nerves. 

The emotions in Kurt’s eyes were amazing to see. The hurt eased, changing to warmth and hope. And Blaine couldn’t wait anymore. His hand cupped the back of Kurt’s neck and he leaned forward, capturing Kurt’s parted lips with his own, shifting closer to deepen the kiss. Felt a surge of joy when Kurt’s arms came up around him and he was kissing Blaine back just as desperately.

A few minutes later, a surprised female gasp coming from nearby made Blaine pull back, looking around to see a woman turning away from their area. He chuckled and looked down at Kurt, lying on his back on the sofa, his hair a mess from Blaine’s hands and his lips swollen from the kisses. The best was his eyes, darker with arousal but so happy and full of affection. He had never looked more beautiful. 

Sitting up, Blaine straightened his own hair and clothes, knowing he was probably fairly rumpled from Kurt’s touch. “I don’t want to stop, but this probably isn’t the best place for this, Kurt.” He chuckled, just feeling too happy to hold it in. “We better find a washroom to try to fix up how we look before we head back into the party.” 

Kurt sat up, slipping his arm around Blaine’s waist and kissing his neck lightly. “Who says we have to go back? I’ll text Isabelle and she can handle the rest of the night. She can always say I’m still weak from my coma, and had to go home.” He shrugged, his eyes flirty. 

Blaine rolled his eyes. “You can only use that excuse so long, Kurt. It’s been almost a year since you woke up. But if it means you’ll leave with me right now, I say please use it.” He couldn’t resist leaning closer to sneak another kiss near Kurt’s ear. 

\---

Waking up later, Kurt was running his hands over Blaine's skin, liking the feel of his light chest hair. 

"What are you going to do about Adam, Kurt?" Blaine asked, his voice neutral, waiting to see how Kurt would respond. 

Kurt sighed, and reached for his phone. "Do you mean should I tell him off or yell at him or cut him off for what he did?" Kurt asked, his eyes big and solemn. 

Blaine nodded, wrapping his arms around Kurt. He would gladly administer a harsher treatment, if Kurt would allow it. 

Kurt bit his lip. "Adam was motivated out of his old feelings for me, which I may have contributed to rekindling when I asked him to be my plus-one to those events. I thought we were just friends, everything above board, but obviously other stuff was going on."

“You feel guilty for encouraging him somehow?” Blaine asked softly. 

Closing his eyes, Kurt thought about it, the whole situation. When he finally opened his eyes, Blaine could tell he had made a decision. “I wanted to stay friends with Adam, keep things in good standing with him, honor our old relationship. But there are two things he did that make that impossible.” 

Blaine rubbed his shoulder, giving comfort, while he waited for Kurt to find the words he needed.

“Using my tablet to send that message, and then never telling me about it…. That was a breech of trust. I can’t trust him to be around me, around us. What if he did something like that again?” Kurt shook his head slowly. 

Blaine nodded, agreeing with Kurt’s point. “And the other thing?”

He took a deep breath, and Blaine could tell he was getting upset, just thinking about it. Reaching over to the bedside table, he got some tissues and passed them to Kurt. 

Dabbing at some tears, Kurt looked very bereft. Blaine’s heart went out to him, feeling bad for bringing up bad thoughts. “The thing that really changed how I felt about him was how he was when I woke up. He was generous, paying for my care, but made no effort to come and see me. He could afford a plane ticket; he could have found the time. He knew I was alone, only giving the health care staff Carole’s contact information, knowing she was halfway across the world.” 

Kurt scoffed. “And then, when I was mostly recovered, getting attention in the media for _Red Star_ …that is when he can suddenly find his way to my side. That is when he is interested in me again.” Kurt closed his eyes, looking tired.

Blaine lowered his face to Kurt’s shoulder, simply holding him, letting Kurt take the time he needed. 

When Kurt opened his eyes, he looked more resolute. “You were surprised that I cleared out so much of my old clothing, my old stuff. But I was ready to let go of that chapter of my life. I am a different person now. I wanted to make space in my life for what will happen next.” 

“You are such a realist, Kurt. You have always just gotten up and dealt with things are they are, not bellyaching over losing your voice, your career. Just moving on, adjusting.” Blaine squeezed him lightly. “I love that about you.”

Kurt smiled, still amazed at Blaine saying those words. Words he never thought he’d hear from him. 

“And you were there for me in my worst times, whenever I’ve been alone, weak or depressed. Supporting me, trying to cheer me up, helping me however you could. You are my moon, lighting things up in my darkest times.” Kurt leaned closer to kiss Blaine, so full of feelings for this man. 

\---

 

"Mmmm you feel so good...I've missed this. Missed you." Blaine sighed happily as he ran his hands down Kurt's naked back, cuddling close and just breathing him in. 

Stretching like a contented cat, Kurt let out a little moan when Blaine hit a good spot in his back rub. 

Blaine froze, and then reached over to turn on the bedside lamp, just staring at Kurt. 

Furrowing his brow, Kurt reached over for his phone. "What?" 

"You made a noise. I heard you." Blaine's voice was soft with wonder, his eyes full of questions. 

Kurt closed his eyes for a minute, and then smiled as he rolled into back. "Oh, that. Well, we were kind of out contact at the time, but I had vocal cord surgery. There was only a tiny chance of it helping at all, so I didn't tell many people."

Blaine's eyes were wide, and excited. "But I heard you, Kurt. It must have worked, at least a little." His expression was just begging for more information. 

Chuckling softly, Kurt patted his shoulder. "I've been doing vocal exercises since the surgery, seeing how much I can get back. It's kind of plateaued now, and my doctor thinks it won't get much better." 

"Can you say something to me? I've never heard you talk to me directly." Blaine was still in shock that Kurt hadn't mentioned having the surgery in all this time. 

Kurt looked a bit shy. "It's still very rough, and the doctor doesn't think I'll be able to stop using my voice app. My voice is just too soft and my vocal chords tire after only a few words." 

Pulling Kurt into his arms, Blaine gave him a tight hug. "Oh sweetheart, I know it must have been a bit disappointing to not get your voice back, but I think it's great you are able to make some noises. Whatever you can do is fine with me. Don't be shy."

Kurt returned the hug and put his mouth close to Blaine's ear. It still felt a bit strange to try to speak after being voiceless for so long. Swallowing hard, he whispered softly. "I love you, Blaine."

The words were very, very soft, and scratchy. Kurt moved back, looking at Blaine's face, to see if he heard. If he understood the words. 

The tears gathering in the corners of Blaine's eyes were his answer. "Oh, fuck, Kurt. I love you too, so much." And he dipped his head to kiss Kurt softly, slowly, deepening as they moved closer to each other. 

This time, when Blaine kissed down Kurt's neck, biting into his skin, Kurt relaxed and let those tiny little sounds escape. Tiny moans as Blaine stroked over his stomach. And every sound made Blaine smile in delight, doubling his efforts to please Kurt, wanting even more. And when he took Kurt into his mouth, taking him deep, Kurt clenched his fingers into Blaine's curls and swore softly. It was the sexiest thing Blaine had ever heard. But a few minutes later, something topped that. Kurt arched up off the bed, helpless against the sexual onslaught, and said Blaine's name as he shuddered in pleasure. And that no one else but Blaine had ever heard Kurt like that made it even hotter. 

\---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks everyone for reading this fic. You have been so supportive and wonderful. :D 


	25. Epilogue

Kurt bit his lip as he watched the guitar player onstage. He was simply beautiful, his eyes often closed as he got into the music, losing himself in it. Then his eyes would open and he'd share a glance with another one of the musicians, in sync with each other, the overall sound combining seamlessly. 

They had been playing a while under the hot, bright lights in the dark club, and the guitar player took off his button-up shirt before the next song started. He had just a black tank on now with his black jeans, and his skin was shiny with sweat. Kurt watched, fascinated, as the musician played on, admiring his muscular arms and the way his talented fingers flowed over the frets of his instrument. Poetry in motion. 

**I want to be your groupie.** He sent the text message, and smiled to himself when the song ended and the musician fished his phone out of a tight jean pocket, smiling at the message. 

Rich hazel eyes looked out into the audience then, and Kurt felt it when they landed on him, a flare of awareness and arousal zinging through his body. How Blaine had spotted him in the dark crowd, with the bright lights in his eyes, Kurt would never know, but he loved it all the same. Not sure how well Blaine could see him, Kurt still licked his lips slowly and gave him a heated look. 

Blaine shifted on stage; a pleased, private smile on his lips as they started a fast paced song, rocking out together. He played beautifully, power and vibrant energy coming through effortlessly. But still, his eyes often found Kurt's in the crowd, sharing this. 

By the time they wound things up and were bowing to the standing, applauding audience, Kurt was swinging his messenger bag on and waving goodbye to the friends he'd come with. Watching the band leaving the stage, he pushed through the crowd and was able to slip down the hall, and through a door marked 'Authorized Personnel Only'.

He found Blaine in a dressing room with the rest of the band, guzzling down water and toweling off their sweaty faces. Pausing in the doorway, he waited until Blaine sensed him there and looked up. His eyes widened slightly, and then he was putting his guitar in its case, grabbing a towel and a water bottle before he slipped away to join Kurt. 

The words Blaine was about to say were forgotten as he got close to Kurt and saw the heat in his eyes. When Kurt grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway, Blaine had no objections. 

Kurt was no stranger to back stages and back rooms in clubs; they all had a similar feel. It didn't take long before he found a small, empty room and dragged Blaine in before shutting the door. They turned on a desk lamp, revealing it to likely be the bar manager's office, barely room for a desk. But it was private and quiet. That was all Kurt needed. 

Blaine had barely set down his towel and water on the desk when Kurt was on him, pushing him back against the door as his lips crashed down on Blaine's. Hungry, desperate, needy... His hands were just as bad, travelling down Blaine's chest, the sweat-soaked tank bunching under his hands. 

Letting out a low moan, Blaine just leaned back against the door as Kurt's mouth went to his neck, biting and sucking, marking him. Kurt's hands were undoing Blaine's jeans, pushing the material out of the way impatiently until his hand was on Blaine, naked and hard in his palm. His other hand went into Blaine’s sweaty hair, pulling his head back for Kurt’s kiss, deep and devouring. 

Blaine's hands fumbled with Kurt's jeans, until he could squeeze a hand inside, hardly able to do much but give Kurt something to push against. But Kurt was so aroused, it was enough. They were both panting hard, pressing closer, hot. It didn’t take much until Blaine was shuddering against Kurt, closing his eyes and letting out a sharp moan. Kurt held him tight, pushing against Blaine’s hand urgently a few times until he lowered his head to Blaine’s shoulder, his soft moan barely audible over Blaine’s fast breathing. 

His legs were wobbly already, and with Kurt’s body leaning against him, Blaine let himself slide down the door until he was sitting on the floor. Kurt chuckled weakly, kissing up his neck softly now, and widening his eyes at the large mark he’d left on Blaine’s skin. 

“Can you reach the towel and water on the desk, Kurt?” Blaine asked, the items temptingly just out of reach from his position. 

Kurt lifted his head off of Blaine’s shoulder, and shifted to get the items, handling the bottle to Blaine as he used the towel to clean them up as best he could. Blaine handed him the water and he took a long sip, giving Blaine a dazed and happy grin. 

Blaine chuckled a little, and then it got a bit louder. Kurt arched an eyebrow at him questioningly, which only made Blaine laugh harder. Shaking his head, Blaine collected himself and pushed Kurt’s mussed hair back off his face. “It just struck me as funny that the guy whose poster I used to have up on the wall is now my groupie. You went all fanboy over me.” 

Rolling his eyes, Kurt just leaned closer to give Blaine a light kiss, and then put his mouth close to his ear. “Because you’re hot as fuck.”

Chuckling again, Blaine pulled his sweaty tank away from his chest. “Fucking hot and sweaty, yeah. We should get home and have a long shower. Preferably together.” He kissed along Kurt’s jawline, liking the light rasp of his whiskers against his lips. 

Kurt gave a light moan, tilting his chin up to encourage Blaine’s touch. 

But then the doorknob rattled, and the door moved against their backs. Jumping apart, they scrambled to their feet, doing up their jeans and straightening up the rest of their clothes. The door opened, and a middle-aged guy with his hair in a ponytail gave Kurt a suspicious look until he saw Blaine. “Oh, you’re in here. That was a good show, man.” He held his hand out to Blaine.

Wiping his hand quickly on his jeans, Blaine smiled back and shook the bar manager’s hand. “Thanks Pete. It was a great crowd.” 

Pete gave Kurt a questioning glance, and Blaine put an arm around his waist to pull him close. “Um… this is my boyfriend, Kurt. Sorry we are in your office, man, but he wasn’t feeling so good. I brought him in here since it’s quieter.” 

Kurt played along, leaning heavily against Blaine and letting his body relax. His eyes were closed halfway, and Blaine almost believed it when he gave Pete a small, weak wave. Years and years of being on stage had honed his acting skills. 

Looking Kurt over and then Blaine, Pete’s eyes seemed to linger on the bright red bite mark near his ear a heartbeat too long, but then he just nodded and smiled. “Well, you should probably get him home to bed then.” He opened the door wider, signaling for them to pass by him. 

Grabbing the towel and water, Blaine helped Kurt back to the dressing room. They were avoiding each other’s eyes, knowing they would be laughing hard once they did. Blaine kept it together though, as he changed into a dry shirt and got his guitar and bag. The band was going to hang out for drinks, but understood that he needed to get Kurt home. 

It was only in the back of the cab that they finally let go; laughing so hard Blaine could hardly tell the cabbie Kurt’s address. 

Kurt pulled out his phone, typing quickly. “I can’t believe you shook his hand with my spunk all over yours.” 

Cuddling close, Blaine kissed Kurt’s neck. “I’d wiped it away. Most of it, I think.” He smiled against his warm skin, smelling his light cologne mixed with the sweat and sex, and felt at home. Happy.

\----

It was late the next morning when Blaine poured a big coffee and wandered out to the balcony. Kurt was finishing up his yoga routine, and joined Blaine, drinking from his bottle full of water and sliced lemons. 

“Why did you bring that out here?” Kurt typed, looking down at the scrapbook Blaine had brought out and set on the little table. The balcony of this apartment wasn’t as big as his last apartment’s, but it did have room for a rattan loveseat, a small table and a barbeque. And just enough room for a yoga mat for Kurt to do his exercises in the morning sun each day while weather permitted it. 

Putting an arm around Kurt’s shoulders, Blaine snuggled close. “You never showed me the pictures from your Thailand trip, and I saw it on your bookcase. Is it OK?” 

Giving his boyfriend a little smile, Kurt nodded and picked the scrapbook up. Even though they had been together for months now, they were still learning things about each other. Sharing their past, what made them who they were today. And he loved that Blaine was just as curious about his history as he was about Blaine’s. 

Flipping through the pictures, Blaine asked frequent questions, and Kurt told him lots of stories of the people he had met. 

“It’s so beautiful. Would you ever like to go there again, together?” Blaine asked as Kurt closed the book and put it back on the table. 

Pushing Blaine back, Kurt cuddled along his side. “You’d like going somewhere that remote? Away from all the touristy stuff?” Kurt was a bit surprised at Blaine’s request. It was definitely something Adam would have never done.

Wrapping his arms around Kurt loosely, he rubbed his lower back in little circles. “Are you kidding? I think it would be fantastic. Plus, it would be cool to see Carole again, see where she works.” 

“Have I told you today that I love you?” Kurt whispered in Blaine’s ear, the soft voice never ceasing to send a rush of feelings through him. It was such a rare thing to hear it, those few precious words each day usually saved for times like this when they were cuddled close.

Blaine pretended to think hard for a minute. “Today? I’m not sure. It was pretty dark and I’m not sure if it was after midnight or not the last time you said it.” 

Kurt dropped his head to Blaine’s chest, thinking back to the previous night. When they got home, they had a long hot shower together, and fell into the bed, hungry again for each other. 

“Kurt, can I ask you something?” Blaine asked softly, the tone of his voice more serious.

Looking up at his boyfriend’s face, Kurt wondered what it could be, and nodded slowly. 

Shifting, Blaine sat up a little so he was leaning against the arm of the loveseat. “Um, well… My lease is up in a month.” He looked kind of shy, and unsure of himself. 

His eyes crinkling a little in the corners, Kurt typed fast. “Oh really? What are you going to do?” He tried to keep a neutral face.

Blaine looked at him, and then saw the teasing glint in Kurt’s eyes. “I was hoping a certain theatre director I know might want to share a place with me.” 

“Nate? Hmmmm… I doubt it, hon. He has a wife he lives with already.” Kurt smirked. 

Rolling his eyes, Blaine gave him a fond look. “I had another theatre director in mind. A sexy, smart, charming, funny and sexy theatre director.” 

“You said sexy twice.” Kurt quipped back.

Blaine nodded slowly. “I know.” 

Kurt pretended to think hard. “Hmmm… well, I think the double-sexy theatre director you are thinking of already has a place with a lease that lasts another six months and whose closets are already pretty full.” 

Shifting closer, Blaine tipped Kurt’s chin up to kiss him firmly. Those perfect full lips. Put everything he had into the kiss. Sometimes words are very overrated.

When he pulled back, Blaine was happy to see Kurt’s face was a bit flushed and the teasing glint in his eyes had been replaced by a warmer look. “I guess I was hoping he would consider breaking his lease so we could find a two bedroom place. One with ample closet space for both of us.” 

Kurt bit his lip, looking a little younger and a bit insecure suddenly. “Are you sure we’re ready for this, Blaine? I know we love each other and everything…I guess I’m just scared of screwing everything up when we are doing so well.” 

“I think we’re ready, Kurt. We are practically together every night anyways, you over at my place, or I’m over here. We sleep together, eat together, hang out together already.” Blaine stroked his hand over Kurt’s shoulder, not wanting to push Kurt into something he wasn’t sure of, but wanting this so much. 

Holding his breath, Blaine watched Kurt as he thought it over, trying to interpret the emotions that came and went over his expressive face. He felt a sinking feeling when the last emotion on Kurt’s face was an unimpressed one. “I don’t know, Blaine.” He sighed. “It would mean having to move for the third time in two years.” 

Blaine just stared at him, his eyes incredulous. “You don’t want to move in with me because of that?” He was about to spin off into a loud rant when he caught the teasing glint in Kurt’s eyes. 

“Oh you…” Grabbing the pillow, Blaine whacked his arm a few times. “The first time you were in a coma and I did all the work. The second time, I helped you unpack. And the next time, if you ask me nicely, I’ll help you pack AND unpack.” 

Kurt pretended to ponder it, and then nodded. “Well, I guess I could move in with you then.” And let out one of his soft noises when Blaine grabbed him in a tight hug. And there, safe in Blaine’s arms, Kurt knew he was already home. 

\----

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: OK, it’s a super fluffy, somewhat sexy, epilogue… but the boys wouldn’t let me end their story with a BJ. After all those angsty chapters of them apart, we needed to have some fun happy couple time. Hope y’all liked it.

Thanks for reading this long story & being patient of my POV experiment in the middle & all that stuff. Your support (especially the reviews & comments) are great and so, so appreciated!

Follow me on delightful-fear@tumblr.com .

-This story was posted April 2016. I did a revised version of the story January 2018 & have just started posting the sequel ‘One Night in Bangkok’. This is the sequel to both versions of the original story. 


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